tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55536769719158477572024-02-07T21:40:00.989-08:00BRUTAL BETABe kind, rewind!Joseph Sheldahlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06330228383079557181noreply@blogger.comBlogger550125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5553676971915847757.post-76470106821594506272017-02-10T23:04:00.005-08:002017-02-10T23:04:52.801-08:00American Ultra<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i>American Ultra</i> is a movie I thoroughly enjoy. It's really as simple as that. It's funny, violent, and is a perfect example of how awesome Kristen Stewart can be when she's not shackled by the turgid prose of Stephanie Meyer. Also, Topher Grace is in here as the villain, who chews epic amounts of scenery. Then Bill Pullman shows up, basically being Bill Pullman. I mean, is there anything not awesome about this movie? Sure, it's cinematic junk food- but that puts it right alongside such epics of cinema as <i>Deadpool</i>, <i>Kingsman: The Secret Service</i> and <i>Kick-Ass</i>. That's pretty good company to keep.<br />
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Jesse Eisenberg is ideal in the lead role because he's the last guy you'd expect to headline a bloody, violent, action movie. Make it part stoner comedy and then it starts to make sense, but still. I'm not big on stoner comedy, but maybe if more of them had guys getting John Wick'd all over the place, I'd watch more of them. Oh, and I nearly forgot- John Fucking Leguizamo shows up as Eisenberg's drug dealer, Rose. He's in full OTT mode and its hilariously glorious. The little bits of dialog him and Eisenberg share are just golden.<br />
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I think I like <i>American Ultra</i> because it's an action movie first, but it's also dedicated to the absurdity and inherent humor of its own premise. Yeah, there's plenty of laughs to be had, but they spill out in the midst of extremely tense and nerve wracking situations. The movie is smart enough to mine even its darkest material for a humorous lining. Somehow, there's still a balance. <i>American Ultra</i> isn't a parody, or a farce. Its characters are sincere, and the plot is serious, and I think that's why it works so damn well. It does get a little too off kilter at times, but that makes me love it even more.<br />
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It's like when you're drawing something, and you kinda mess up, but it looks good for some reason- and you just know if you tried to fix it, it'd make it look worse. <i>American Ultra</i> is just like that. It's an imperfect movie, flawed, but that's okay. In fact, it's fine the way it is. Any measure of tinkering or re-shoots would've messed this movie up. The tone is bang-on, the pacing is ideal, and the cast is excellent. The story isn't without its little plot holes, but it functions well enough under its own steam that I've no desire to pick it apart. Like I said, cinematic junk food. If you're enjoying a bag of Funyuns<span style="background-color: white; color: #545454; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">®</span>, you don't stop to criticize the list of ingredients.<br />
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The last act of the movie is pure brutal action packed craziness, and it all unfolds in and around a local supermarket. How quaint. I enjoy the hell out of this movie, and honestly- why wouldn't I? Eisenberg and Stewart have surprisingly solid chemistry together, the romantic angle feels anything but stale. Topher Grace makes a great villain, and even Walton Goggins shows up and subsequently steals every single scene he's in. That guy is seriously underappreciated. All in all, if you're looking for a breezy, colorful, uncomplicated and super violent alternative to your averagely dour and bleak amnesiac-spy-on-the-run thriller, <i>American Ultra</i> should be your go-to snack food.Joseph Sheldahlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07851803148817458591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5553676971915847757.post-47306052308500891952017-02-10T09:50:00.002-08:002017-02-10T09:50:35.512-08:00Chrononauts<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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It seems comic book reviews are becoming a regular staple of my blog as of late. I haven't gotten any complaints (not like I get any feedback, period...) so I'm just gonna keep em' coming as I see fit. Next up on my plate here is a breezy little ten issue story by Mark Millar (<i>Kick-Ass</i>, <i>Wanted</i>) with art by Sean Gordon Murphy (<i>Tokyo Ghost</i>) and hot damn is it a lot of fun. It's 120 pages of no-holds-barred time travel craziness. It's clearly mined from the imagination of a guy who wanted to see an F16 fighter jet in the same panel as a T-Rex and figured "What the hell? Why not?" That is the kind of comic book that <i>Chrononauts </i>is.<br />
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It's like a big Hollywood summer blockbuster, that would probably end up starring Chris Evans and Chris Pratt as two best friend science-bros who end up taking a joyride across all of time and space. It's <i>Timecop</i>, <i>Top Gun</i>, <i>Back to the Future</i> and <i>Ferris Bueller's Day Out</i> all in one. I find it funny how towards the end of every time travel story ever, the clearly out-of-their-depth protagonists suddenly remember that OH HEY, WE HAVE A TIME MACHINE! The answer to the most basic problem has been right in front of them the whole time, but by necessity we the audience had to have our irresponsible little adventure first. <i>Chrononauts </i>is no different.<br />
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The protagonists intentionally dive headfirst into a big pool of recklessness, disregarding all stuffy laws and rules of time travel, and heartily throwing caution to the wind. <i>Chrononauts </i>manages to tie everything up in a neat bow at the end. Does it all make sense? I believe so. But, pardon me if I didn't stop to detail-check for plot holes in a story where two dudebros fend off the Mongol horde with jeeps, machine guns, sports cars, and helicopters. And this is just one of the tamer scenes when all things are said and done. The whole thing seems tailor-made for the silver screen, but it has the kind of blockbuster charm that has been largely absent from modern cinema.<br />
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Intentionally or not, <i>Chrononauts </i>has an 80's movie vibe to its absurdity. I love it. Despite its ruthless buggering of the space/time continuum, <i>Chrononauts </i>is rather a simplistic and uncomplicated romp through the ages. It's action packed and full of humor, but at the core of the story is a strong friendship between the two leads. The book is refreshingly straightforward and that is a real treat in a market full of comics brimming with subtext, allegory, metaphors and the like. <i>Chrononauts </i>is what it is, and that's it (as far as I can tell). It just aims to thrill, and there's nothing wrong with that. I wouldn't hesitate to pick up Vol.1 as a gift for a friend or someone you think should get into comics.<br />
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It's cliche to say its got a little bit of everything, but it really does. There's a love story, sacrifice, ass-loads of heroics, sweeping epic battle scenes, tons of action, plenty of witty humor, and I'd be remiss if I didn't mention how great the artwork is. Murphy's visuals match Millar's literary zaniness. The book is a delight to look at as much as the story is fun to read. I'm not gonna lie and say that's a rare thing- non-superhero comics are killing it these days in the best way possible, but how can one possibly complain about a book this much fun? <i>Chrononauts </i>might not be an absolute genre-defining must-read, but I can't find fault with it. It's all the energy and adventure of a big Saturday matinee flick, on each and every page. Fully recommended.Joseph Sheldahlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07851803148817458591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5553676971915847757.post-90346789153143224712017-02-09T09:17:00.000-08:002017-02-09T09:17:00.382-08:00Maximum Risk<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I am a person who has at one point in his life, referred to himself as a "Jean Claude Fan Damme". Just so we're clear on that, on where I stand. I love JCVD's movies. I've seen like 90% of them. Especially some of the later DTV stuff. I can quote <i>Bloodsport </i>like the back of my hand. So, when I saw <i>Maximum Risk</i> on Blu Ray, on sale for $3.50 at F.Y.E. I figured that it was divine intervention, because I had never seen this one before. I'd say it was $3.50 well spent, doubly so since I'm such a shameless Fan Damme. Yes, I said it again. Deal with it.<br />
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<i> Maximum Risk</i> is pretty decent as far as JCVD's filmography goes. It's a passable 90's actioner directed by famed HK action director, Ringo Lam. Unfortunately, very little of Lam's trademark kinetic insanity trickles down into <i>Maximum Risk</i>. It makes every effort to be a mature movie, worth taking seriously- but also has fits of inexplicable nineties action excess. It's like a drab cop thriller and an 80's action flick had a baby, and this is the bastard it produced. I know Van Damme can act, and act well- but I fail to see why the movie has to grind to a halt every time it wants to prove this.<br />
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This is a guy known for his splits and kicks and smarmy little grin. This movie is way too dour and downbeat to be 'fun', and it's a far cry from what anyone could want from a 90's Van Damme flick. Having said that, it's not a bad movie, it's just an odd one. The movie generates a super sleazy atmosphere, which is pretty cool. The plot bobs and weaves through strip clubs, night clubs, bars, and grimy taxi cabs. I was almost lulled into thinking this was just a crime drama, but when I least expected it, Van Damme busts out some bone-breaking action. In little spurts at least.<br />
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Some people say that the movie is nothing but action, and others say it doesn't have enough- I'm in the camp of the latter. Sure, the plot is constantly in motion, but the action is too grounded (until the last act). It's mostly a couple brawls and a couple standard car chases. Nothing to write home about. I'm used to vein popping, muscle flexing, hero mode, fuck yeah, patriotic, slow motion, blood spraying, bone snapping action in JCVD's movies. There's really none of that here. This smacked of a quick buck effort to be taken seriously by critics and audiences.<br />
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It's really not a bad movie, but it's a game of managed expectations. I enjoyed the taut little thriller that it was, which occasionally reared it's creative action-packed head. The movie plays like a bizarre Euro-cop, neo-noir, mob drama- and for what it's worth (about $3.50) it wasn't bad. Fan Dammes will enjoy it for what it is, though I kinda suspect that the average viewer might enjoy it more. It's somehow less over-the-top than his usual fare, and plays a bit straighter. Also, Natasha Henstridge gets naked a couple times here. That alone was worth the price of admission, the rest is just icing on the cake.Joseph Sheldahlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07851803148817458591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5553676971915847757.post-87399769954952585542017-02-08T17:30:00.004-08:002017-02-08T17:30:47.198-08:00Godzilla vs. Megaguirus<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I'm not a huge fan of the Millennium series of <i>Godzilla </i>movies, I like the Heisei era films better, but <i>Godzilla vs. Megaguirus</i> is still a fun ride, and one made all the better by having copious amounts of popcorn and soda on hand. See, for me, Godzilla movies are still child-like escapism. Sure, I can appreciate the horror and allegory of the original, but this franchise will always boil down to me being five years old, laying on the living room floor- my chin propped up in my hands as I watch Godzilla and his buddies duke it out with giant robots, living gods, and whatever the hell Gigan was. It was silly, it was fun, it was a good damn time. This movie recalls that same kind of entertainment.<br />
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The movie is a big early 00's effects flick, which is just a polite way of saying it's a big late 90's effects flick. A lot of its CGI has not aged well and looks direly dated. Worse than the clunky rubber suits of yore, the CG elements in <i>Godzilla vs. Megaguirus</i> lack texture and are visibly out of place with the world around it. But I feel like a bastard even pointing that out, because the ambition of the special effects are stunning. Tokyo ends up halfway underwater, providing some haunting and eye-popping visuals, and one of the main characters ends up ON Godzilla- which is an absolutely stunning scene.<br />
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It's little bits like that which make <i>Godzilla vs. Megaguirus</i> worth watching. The human characters are fine, and a couple are even likable- but the plot is hot nonsense and the opening of the movie has the most awkward recap/backstory thing ever. Yet, does it matter? Roger Ebert himself was fond of making the point that sometimes a movie can be good fun without being a good movie. So many Godzilla movies fall into that specific category. Some lack the right elements to even be good fun, but <i>Godzilla vs. Megaguirus </i>doesn't have that issue. The creature designs are menacing and full of detail. Megaguirus himself is a pretty frightening adversary, and his fight with the big G himself is great.<br />
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It's a big, creative, slap-fest with lots of grappling, biting, stabbing, throwing, crashing, explosions, and beam-blasting. I did lament the fact that Megaguirus and Godzilla didn't have any other encounters but the one at the end, but there's no shortage of Godzilla scenes in the movie proper. One fun scene in particular was when Godzilla gets swarmed by hundreds and hundreds of mutant dragonflies. It was unique and really exciting. I enjoyed the movie and all it's big-scale action set pieces, though it was ultimately <b>just </b>a <i>Godzilla </i>movie. I know that sounds like a weird summation, but hear me out on this...<br />
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Of all the <i>Godzilla </i>movies I've ever seen, I only ever actually disliked one, and that's because it was painfully boring. A night out at Red Lobster is more action packed (guess which <i>Godzilla </i>movie it was), but by and large- the very presence of Godzilla and other giant monsters is the promise of a good time. This movie does nothing to dispel that notion. So, it is a good time, but not much more. It doesn't quite reach the nostalgic heights of the original <i>Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla</i>, nor is it as memorable as my favorite- <i>Godzilla vs. Biollante</i>. But, I can't hate on it either way, it is still a <i>Godzilla </i>movie, ergo, there's still a lot of fun to be had here- even if it's not a franchise defining work.Joseph Sheldahlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07851803148817458591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5553676971915847757.post-62149837132913585122017-02-08T14:04:00.002-08:002017-02-08T14:04:31.049-08:00Saga<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I don't really review many comic series on here, for a number of reasons- one, this is very obviously and primarily a <i>movie </i>blog, and two, comic series are so frickin' long that it's hard to review any ongoing title as a complete story. I'm very much used to reviewing the beginning, middle and end of a story as a whole. But, with comics, I have to sorta make an ongoing recommendation without knowing how the story is going to end. However, I have no qualms about recommending <i>Saga </i>right out of the gate. Author Brian K. Vaughan is telling a great story here, and I'd be remiss if I didn't tell all of you right now that you should be reading it too.<br />
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<i>Saga </i>has been running for a few years now, so you've got plenty to catch up. Six full trade volumes are out and in a lapse of good sense and sound judgment I bought all six on my last visit to the comic shop. I regret nothing. I'd read a lot of <i>Saga </i>in the past, but I'd never owned any of it myself and I really wanted to revisit it and catch up on the story. And, speaking of the story, Vaughan has crafted a true epic. <i>Saga</i>'s scope is sweeping, but the core of the story is its amazing characters. So many of these space operas, regardless of the medium in which they're being told, have seriously generic stock characters. Not <i>Saga</i>.<br />
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Alana and Marko are soldiers from warring factions in a bloody interplanetary war, but against all odds they fall for each other and end up having a child together while on the run from both sides. The mess it creates is a hugely political one. You'd be forgiven for thinking this might be a typical romance story, but it's really not. Alana and Marko come from very different cultures, and the book doesn't ignore that- to the contrary, it explores it. Traditions, superstitions, stigmas, misconceptions and stereotypes. Alana and Marko have a lot to overcome if their star-crossed romance is going to succeed. This is one space faring romance worth following, unlike some...<br />
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What's even better is that nobody in this world talks like they're in a 500 page 'epic' novel. Page one of issue one sets the tone for the rest of the entire series. The characters talk like real people. Their dialog isn't filtered through the dust of an old stuffy sci-fi movie. Alana is independent, feisty, and uninterested in being trapped in a safely cliche life that would insist she 'stay put'. She hates it when people insist that she can't do something because she's a parent now. Marko is a wide-eyed old soul who's upbringing is steeped in old fashioned traditions and rituals. He's crazy about Alana and sometimes- most times, they don't see eye to eye on things. Vaughan uses these clashes to generate not just tense drama, but also- at times, some genuine humor.<br />
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Visually, <i>Saga </i>is stunning. Fiona Staples' art is absolutely great. <i>Saga </i>has a fascinating visual language and an impeccable attention to detail. No tiny background detail is arbitrary or overlooked. There's also some great sight gags, like how cameras have eyeballs for lenses, the royal aristocrats have TVs for heads, but some objects are plainly familiar. One character recalls an old flame, as he pops some home videos on his TV. It's little touches like that that are just great. Not everything has to be a stunning reinvention of basic things. Sometimes, a house is just a house, and an apartment is just an apartment. But in <i>Saga</i>, sometimes a spaceship is also a giant tree. Yep. A tree. Saga is wild like that. It's full of sci-fi and fantasy, but is also grounded in the most unexpected ways.<br />
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Seriously though, I can't reiterate this enough- the characters in <i>Saga </i>are amazing. Alana and Marko are just the tip of the iceberg. From professional bounty hunters like The Stalk and The Will, to his trusty loyal sidekick- a giant hairless cat who calls people out on their lies- easily one of my absolute favorite characters in <i>Saga</i>.<br />
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Vaughan writes his characters with genuine personality, and Staples makes sure that personality comes alive in every single panel. <i>Saga </i>is full of great storytelling, vibrant characters, intense action set pieces, human level drama, and some laugh out loud humor. This is the kind of book that I do believe everyone should read- comic fan or not. I can't say enough good things about this title, but it's gotten me back into my love of the medium twice. That should speak volumes about its quality.Joseph Sheldahlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07851803148817458591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5553676971915847757.post-11528498470195210492017-02-07T09:40:00.000-08:002017-02-07T09:40:15.956-08:00Broforce<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Have you ever wanted a good ol' fashioned <i>Contra</i>-like sidescroller with TOTALLY destructible environments? Have you ever wanted to play a game where you can be Rambo, The Terminator, RoboCop, John Matrix, B.A. Baracus, Indiana Jones, James Braddock, Ellen Ripley, Judge Dredd, The Rocketeer, Blade, Max Rockatansky, Luc Deveraux, Walker Texas Ranger, Conan The Barbarian, The Boondock Saints, Max Walker, John McClane, Machete, Snake Plisskin, Ash Williams, and more? Well, Bro, I've got some good news for you...<br />
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Enter: <i>Broforce</i>. The arcade styled action packed throwback game, downloadable on the PS4 and on Steam. Now, I'm a sucker for 80's/90's macho retro nostalgia nonsense. When I unlocked the lever action shotgun in <i>Far Cry: Blood Dragon</i>, and it was called <b>Galleria 1991</b>... I cackled like a madman for a few seconds because <u>I <i>got </i>the reference</u>. When you get to apply the <i>Aliens </i>pulse rifle weapon skin to your assault rifle in <i>Saints Row IV</i>... I was over the moon. But what these games fail to really grasp is that wink-wink, nod-nod references and clever sight gags do not make a game <i>good</i>. They are merely sprinkles on top. If the ice cream is shit- they aren't going to help all that much...<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhews18rvY0yI4V_RI_f0lEbDF4zuSqd6WKMXFI1HhP8K1vhmyMOwpRuFKkod4TN6CoKVE39I-OCJtfFCWGbCJlawFf36cUMDKNj8OEsw_zu43h_icc78ahGb3jDpUpr3yP9kVLA7RnsJdq/s1600/Terminator.2.Judgment.Day.EXTENDED_SPECIAL_EDITION.1991.BDRip.x264.DTS.3AUDIO-WA.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="168" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhews18rvY0yI4V_RI_f0lEbDF4zuSqd6WKMXFI1HhP8K1vhmyMOwpRuFKkod4TN6CoKVE39I-OCJtfFCWGbCJlawFf36cUMDKNj8OEsw_zu43h_icc78ahGb3jDpUpr3yP9kVLA7RnsJdq/s400/Terminator.2.Judgment.Day.EXTENDED_SPECIAL_EDITION.1991.BDRip.x264.DTS.3AUDIO-WA.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>The Galleria?</i></td></tr>
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Now, <i>Blood Dragon</i> was and is a lot of fun. Very good game, albeit more than a little repetitive. <i>Saints Row IV </i>is a good game for thirty minutes, and then it's just... not. There's a lot of modern games that go for a throwback style, but <i>Broforce </i>is on top of the heap- flexing its muscles and scowling in an Austrian drawl. I would've been laughing my ass off at the inclusion of all these fan-favorite characters regardless, BUT if the gameplay itself wasn't up to par, the game would've been a rather one-off gag, good for a laugh, and then I would've moved on. I can safely say that <i>Broforce </i>is more than the sum of it's retro pop culture references.<br />
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As I'm terror-assing through the game, I continually discover new and neat little features. The Judge Dredd bro (Bro Dredd) fires a rocket you can manually guide, and his standard fire bullets are all homing bullets. Indiana Jones' whip isn't just for show, you can actually grapple around and swing to different areas with it. Each 'bro' has a totally unique play style, which lends itself to not only very fun gameplay, but gameplay that casually insists on a bit of strategy. You change bros every time you 'rescue' someone, and when you rescue enough bros, you unlock a new one. You might think I've spoiled a lot of familiar faces already, but there's still plenty more to discover, and that's definitely part of the fun.<br />
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The game keeps you cycling through bros almost constantly, which isn't a bad thing the more I think about it. It's really a luck of the draw type of thing, but I enjoy playing as all of them. Sure, it's annoying when you unlock a new bro, and then you immediately step on a landmine, or jump headfirst into a giant careening buzz-saw of death- but keeping the pace going, and rescuing even more bros means you'll get back around to the new faces in no time at all. Once you hit your stride, you'll be able to handle whichever character gets thrown at you.<br />
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The screen often erupts into gleeful fits of gore, explosions, rubble, and absolute chaos as you spam a grenade button, or get yours hands on a crazily overpowered character. And that is certainly a valid way to play, or you could actually blast tunnels under your enemies and take them out strategically with well placed traps and some lethal creativity. The game makes both play styles rewarding in their own way, which is quite a feat. I can't say enough good things about the game. It's a massive love letter to the over-the-top machismo of the 80's and 90's action heroes. Just when you think they couldn't surprise you with any more characters and little impeccable details, <i>they frickin' do</i>. I love <i>Broforce</i>.Joseph Sheldahlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07851803148817458591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5553676971915847757.post-91146998577885176332017-02-05T20:57:00.005-08:002017-02-05T21:19:24.283-08:00The Accountant<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i>The Accountant</i> is a movie I did not see coming. In no way did it exactly fly under my radar, but I had leveled no expectations at it one way or the other. I was a blank slate as I put the movie on, and I feel that's a practice I should get into more often. Either way, <i>The Accountant</i> was a refreshing experience. It's a layered espionage thriller with a fascinating character at its core. It's so full of twists, turns, revelations and surprises that you'd need a spreadsheet to keep track of it all- which would be no problem at all for the eponymous character of this not-so-little thriller.<br />
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Fortunately, <i>The Accountant</i> is a coherent movie that chugs along without bogging things down. Its main story is fairly uncomplicated, leaving the characters to be explored in layered flashbacks and numerous revealing asides. Pieces of information are doled out only as they become relevant in the main story- which has to do with industrial money laundering or embezzling or something. Our main character is a literal accountant who is hired to get to the bottom of this corporate mess, and he comes highly recommended. His skills are nearly 'supernatural', as one character says.<br />
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We get to find out how, and why. The more we find out about this accountant, the more interesting the movie becomes, but it's the promise of these revelations that kept me glued to the screen. Thanks in no small part to Ben Affleck's terrific performance, which is largely restrained and almost robotic- save for tiny carefully chosen moments of warmth and emotion. I don't want to give anything more away, because his character is absolutely the main reason to watch this movie. He's great. The movie is an excellent vehicle for both Affleck, and this character.<br />
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The story is full of moments that in any other film would be dispensable, played for a laugh, or irrelevant seconds after they are over- but not in <i>The Accountant</i>. Even the most seemingly peripheral characters have a part to play in this sprawling jigsaw puzzle of a movie. Which is a perfect analogy, and an intentional one at that. Puzzles and puzzle pieces are a major recurring theme in the movie, which extents all the way into the plot structure. As pieces fall into place, the bigger picture comes more and more into focus. I really enjoyed that about this movie. It managed to keep me engaged and thoroughly interested throughout.<br />
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In fact, the movie plays like a robust origin story for a cinematic character not unlike a new Bruce Wayne- who's so interesting on his own, he doesn't need a Batman. <i>The Accountant</i>, as a movie, has the added advantage of not having to play to any specific fan base. It's just well crafted entertainment, free of a franchise or gaudy sequel-bait. Unfortunately, it's not perfect. I felt like the main story was rather underwhelming, but even worse- it was uninteresting. It played like an ongoing excuse to learn more about the character and his past, but never once did I actually care who the hell was embezzling money. When it was finally revealed, it was like "Oh, okay. That makes sense."<br />
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For a movie that's so good at characterization and revelations, that one- and the entirety of the main storyline, fell spectacularly flat for me. It makes sense then that the movie goes on past its climax for a good ten minutes, dropping several consecutive reveals that had more payoff than anything the main story ever had. That, combined with some rather wild cinematic convenience prevent <i>The Accountant</i> from being an absolutely 'great' movie, but it's solid cast- all turning in excellent performances, the consistent level of mystery and intrigue, the well-written characters, and the slick, gutsy action scenes which punctuate the plot throughout, all make <i>The Accountant</i> some shamelessly exciting and engrossing entertainment.<br />
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It may not be totally perfect, but we need way more movies like this.Joseph Sheldahlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07851803148817458591noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5553676971915847757.post-27354039278248657532017-02-05T20:29:00.000-08:002017-02-05T20:29:15.626-08:00Hard Target 2<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Once again, Scott Adkins is quite literally picking up JCVD's mantle in this quasi-sequel to Van Damme's early 90's action flick, <i>Hard Target</i>. Of course, <i>Hard Target</i> was more than just a Van Damme flick- it was a John Woo movie. Woo is the undisputed action of gun flicks, slow motion, and motherfreakin' doves. Hard Target might've been ridiculous and over the top, but that's exactly why it's well loved among action fans. So how does <i>Hard Target 2</i> stack up? Well... it's no John Woo movie, but not for lack of trying. It's a serviceable action vehicle for Adkins, taking cues from just about every 80's and 90's action flick- from <i>Rambo</i> to <i>Terminator 2</i>.<br />
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It's much easier to digest if you view it as its own entity and not as a follow up to Hard Target. Only the subject material carries over, everything else- from the cast to the setting is different this time around.Which actually works to this movie's advantage. The less you compare it to Hard Target, the better- speaking not about the quality of the film itself, but that it's differences are its strengths. It's set in Myanmar- not New Orleans. Scott Adkins is a disgraced MMA fighter, not just an ex-military drifter like Van Damme was. He gets roped into the hunting game directly as the prey, not an outside interference. These things definitely set it apart, but everything is just similar enough that it earns it's namesake.<br />
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I am kind of disappointed on one front though: the action. Scott Adkins has done things in his movies that Van Damme never has. Adkins impresses with more than just splits and tornado kicks, but with a fundamental grasp of vicious <i>The Raid</i>-like choreography. <i>Hard Target</i> was about ten years too early for that brutality- yet the story here never takes advantage of that kind of action. Sure, there's motorcycles with mounted machine guns, explosions galore, and enough crossbows to make Daryl Dixon blush... but the epic Scott Adkins fights that I've come to love, in movies like <i>Ninja</i>, <i>Ninja II</i>, <i>Close Range</i>, and <i>Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning</i> are unfortunately in short supply in <i>Hard Target 2</i>.<br />
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Again, it ends up being an expectations game. Nothing is preventing <i>Hard Target 2</i> from being a perfectly serviceable little DTV action flick- in fact, if you need a crazy survival-action fix, I do recommend it, but if you're looking for brutal gut-punching action... maybe pass over this one. <i>Hard Target 2</i> plays less like a title from the modern action movie renaissance (<i>The Raid</i>, <i>Ong Bak</i>, <i>John Wick</i>, <i>D:B13</i>, etc etc) and more like a middling 90's actioner. It's entertaining in a wholesale way, that a lot of mainstream action movies aren't these days, and I enjoyed it throughout, but it's rather short on jaw dropping moments that make Adkins' movies such a delight to watch.<br />
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On the flip side, his charisma and acting skills got a work out in this flick. He carries the movie fairly well, and I was legitimately engaged in his redemption arc, which ends up taking shape once he meets a local Burmese woman, Tha- played with an irresistible charm by newcomer Ann Truong. She's far more than just a pretty face, Truong has a great physicality and I'd be eager to see what she can do in a movie where more fight choreography is required of her character. On top of that, she's just so darn charming. Rounding out the principle cast is Rhona Mitre- who'll forever have a place in my heart for Doomsday, and Robert Knepper.<br />
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His most prolific role to date might be the villain of <i>Transporter 3</i>, but I'll be damned if every other action movie doesn't need a villain just like him. He's not quite a Lance Henriksen, but damn. He fits the role, he's smart, cunning, and makes for an all-around great bad guy. So, where most of these movies usually fail- plot, acting, characterization, <i>Hard Target 2</i> gets by more than well enough. Yet the stunning fight scenes that usually punctuate Adkins' filmography are- like I said -in somewhat short supply here. So it's a trade-off, but either way you slice it- <i>Hard Target 2</i> is still a lot of fun!Joseph Sheldahlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07851803148817458591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5553676971915847757.post-82432069622636749132017-02-03T11:58:00.001-08:002017-02-03T11:58:32.800-08:00Close Range<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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In an age where most modern action stars can only be seen in safe, PG-13, blockbusters- Scott Adkins is out there, cranking out violent hit after violent hit. Even guys like Jason Statham, with both <i>Crank </i>movies to his credit- is most famous for the <i>Transporter </i>trilogy. All of which are PG-13. Even the last <i>Expendables </i>movie was PG-13. I'm getting sick of it. Yet, my man Scott Adkins is absolutely picking up the R rated slack. The quintessential 80's action movie formula is not dead, not while Adkins draws breath. And, if these movies are any indication, he's pretty hard to kill.<br />
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<i>Close Range</i> is an incredibly simple movie. It's plot can be described in one sentence. There are no real twists, no surprises, just Scott Adkins taking on the Mexican drug cartel to protect his sister and his niece. It has a western-like simplicity, recalling some of the more straightforward flicks in Jean Claude Van Damme's filmography. This is not unlike <i>Inferno </i>(a.k.a. <i>Desert Heat</i>) or even <i>Nowhere to Run</i>. It makes sense too, since it seems like JCVD and Adkins are buddies- co-starring in a handful of movies together like <i>Assassination Games</i>, <i>Expendables 2</i>, and <i>Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning</i>. It truly does seem like JCVD has passed the torch to Adkins, and I'm very okay with that.<br />
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The plot is paper thin, but it's not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that the story is refreshingly uncomplicated. It's not a cop thriller, or a crime thriller, or a murder mystery. It is just an action movie. It only aims to blow shit up real well, and it accomplishes that with flying colors. Adkins gets a brisk 80-something minute vehicle to showcase his physicality, fight skills, and how cool he looks firing guns. Do you see me complaining here? Sure, the movie is absurd on almost every level, and there's a strange interlude that takes the time to- by name -introduce every single one of the Mexican henchmen villains. The weird scene just goes on and on and on and on... and none of it is relevant in the slightest. It's complete padding.<br />
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Also, every gun fires at least 40 more bullets than it should be able to, and the entire set is swimming in blood and testosterone by the end. It also occurred to me that criticizing these movies for a lack of realistic gun usage is absurd. Action movies are basically modern mythology. They're always about one lone hero, against the odds, featuring incredible sacrifice and red-blooded macho heroics. Who cares if it plays like a video game with the cheat codes on? These movies are just engineered to entertain by doling out the maximum amount of violence and carnage in the limited time they have. As the plot moves from point A to point B, there better be a body count in the double digits racking up in there.<br />
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<i>Close Range</i> is my favorite kind of movie. It's a balls-to-the-wall showcase of the star's superior fighting skills, and a demo reel for a demolitions team. It's straight gun porn. Scott Adkins gets a handful of hand-to-hand fight scenes, and each one is absolutely stunning. The camera loves this guy, and even moreso when he's unleashing a beatdown on the bad guys. The choreography is insanely good. It's nothing more than a pleasant bonus with a movie like this if I can also say that the acting was good, and in <i>Close Range</i>- it is. Though one would have to be a truly godawful actor to seem stiff or lost in a flick like this. The one truly amazing thing about this movie is how I was able to write five full paragraphs about it.Joseph Sheldahlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07851803148817458591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5553676971915847757.post-84306168489854844292017-02-02T20:16:00.001-08:002017-02-02T21:59:56.967-08:00Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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As a fan of the original <i>Universal Soldier</i>, and the 2009 sequel, <i>Universal Soldier: Regeneration</i>, when I first saw this one, <u>I hated it</u>. Shut it off halfway through and stomped out of the room angrily. For some reason, I revisited the movie today and was completely blown away. Most action franchises ask us to believe that good guy Joe Policeman will just HAPPEN to run into a fresh batch of terrorists with each new sequel, and nobody will bat an eyelash. Hollywood logic. But, <i>Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning</i> leans hard into the grotesque backstories of its characters, and places them at an uncomfortably logical place in this sordid world that director John Hyams has created.<br />
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Reanimated corpses, cloning and government cover ups? That's... well... that's pretty dark material. John Hyams knows. For every punch thrown and bullet fired in <i>Day of Reckoning</i>, Hyams is fashioning not just an action movie... but a horrifying, testosterone fueled, psychological, conspiracy thriller with very muddied morality. It is perhaps the most logical latterday sequel to an old action movie that there will ever be. Another <i>Universal Soldier</i> movie? Luc Deveraux back again? How many times has Andrew Scott died? How long can they keep this up? Scientists in the movie, or filmmakers in the real world- the question applies to both.<br />
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<i>Day of Reckoning</i> feels less like a Roland Emmerich thrill ride, and more like a David Cronenberg thriller. The distinction is important. This movie is a cerebral and psychological head-trip, and its emphasis on bloody violence is never cheered on, or set to a bass thumping techno beat. To the contrary, <i>Day of Reckoning </i>has a haunting music score which leaves its raw violence and brutal action scenes feeling grimy and disturbing. Is Luc Deveraux the bad guy? That's not the question to ask anymore. Are there even any good guys? There you go. <i>"It never ends"</i> Deveraux says to Adkins' character, John.<i> "There's always another John."</i> Very rarely do action movies even attempt to be so meta, let alone pull it off.<br />
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With <i>Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning</i>- you get to have your cake and eat it too. The movie is both a chilling deconstruction of action-sequels, and a full bore action flick in its own right. Star Scott Adkins is more than fit to carry the franchise from here on out. The fight scenes in the movie are impressively choreographed to the nth degree. Every punch and kick hits with a vicious impact, every camera angle is meticulously chosen. When Adkins' character goes full out and has his 'beast mode' moment, it's one of the most stunning action scenes I can remember seeing in maybe the past five years or more even.<br />
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If you're looking for a breezy and uncomplicated latterday follow-up to the original movie, you'll be sorely disappointed. But genre fans with more than a narrow interest in film should be able to appreciate this bloody, cerebral and nightmarish little tale full of twists, turns, and trippy visuals. It's inspirations range from the films of Gaspar Noe to David Lynch, but you'll find very little of the genre's trademark red blooded machismo here. John is a desperate character, not a heroic one. He's out for revenge, but the deeper he digs, the more surreal things become and the more questions he has. <i>Day of Reckoning</i> isn't a simple movie, and I'm hesitant to call it a smart one, but it has a lot going on under the hood.<br />
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If the previous movie, <i>Regeneration</i>, could be seen as a vague commentary about how we keep resurrecting our old heroes, <i>Day of Reckoning</i> explores the consequences of doing just that. It's funny to me that this movie is probably the first one in the franchise good enough to warrant a sequel, but is also the first one that seems vehemently against that very idea- as if sequels to movies like <i>Universal Soldier</i> can only become darker and uglier with each installment, until in the end they no longer resemble a 'good time', but rather something morbid, unsightly and abstract instead.<br />
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That's fine with me. <i>Day of Reckoning</i> is kind of brilliant.Joseph Sheldahlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07851803148817458591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5553676971915847757.post-35192599482422441242017-02-02T18:33:00.006-08:002017-02-02T18:33:45.958-08:00Uncharted 4: A Thief's End<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Naughty Dog delivers a stunning conclusion to the <i>Uncharted </i>franchise with <i>A Thief's End</i>- a game that is a fully realized and truly epic swan song for the saga of Nathan Drake. I could end the review right there and I'll have said all I really need to say, because this amazing game really does speak for itself. Nevertheless, I don't pour a ton of hours into something and then not write about it. Anyways, the <i>Uncharted </i>series is special to me in a way that few are, and <i>Uncharted 4</i> is, quite simply... the best one yet. Zero hyperbole there, seriously.<br />
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Getting my PS3 was a mind blowing moment, and one of the first the games I got for it, was <i>Uncharted: Drake's Fortune.</i> It was a thoroughly fun game, but one that (in my opinion) never quite escaped the shadow of Indiana Jones comparisons. Nevertheless, while most if not all of those comparisons were meant as genuine compliments, it also highlighted one of the things that always bugged me about these games. See,<i> Indiana Jones</i> is grade A pastiche. No, it is. Really. Lucas and Spielberg leaned hard into the B movie genre and threw every cliche they could think of in there. <i>Raiders</i>' is a great movie, but it is literally just a massive shameless homage to a bygone cinematic era of dashing heroes, booby traps, and buried treasure.<br />
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<i>Uncharted </i>was in turn, a massive homage to the whole concept of an <i>Indiana Jones</i>-style adventure. The most unique thing it had going for it was that it was set in modern day- otherwise... Yeah. <i>Uncharted 2</i> did a little more to distance itself from the shadow of Indy comparisons, and <i>Uncharted 3</i> took a huge step in the right direction, but I never fully felt like they had that 'it' that would fully make <i>Uncharted </i>its own beast- until this one. That 'it'? That ended up being Elena. Not to put too fine a point on it, but Elena and Nate's relationship has really anchored the storytelling of this game. It's something that iconic adventurer Henry Jones Jr. never had. Sure, he had Marion- but lets face it, she was an archetype.<br />
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Her character, as awesome as she was, never had any permanent weight in Indy's life. She was a glorified sidekick. But Elena is a legitimate partner to Nate, a complete equal, and someone who is more important to him than anything else. The first game had her as the plucky romantic interest, and the second game, she was an old flame, but beat me over the head- I can't remember if they did anything significant with her in the third game. Yet <i>Uncharted 4</i> realizes that Nate is not Nate without Elena, and they realized that so well, that for the first time I really felt like I was engaged in this story, through and through. The stakes were emotional as well as physical.<br />
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Of course, I'm not saying the previous games didn't have good stories, but the storytelling in this game is on a whole 'nother level. It helps that the character models are insanely realistic looking, and that <i>Uncharted 4</i> has probably the best graphics of any game out for the PS4 right now. There's a mind blowing wealth of little details to a degree previously unseen. I can't stress that enough. Even with perfectly immersive, responsive, and engaging gameplay- sometimes I just couldn't wait to get to the next cut scene because the bits that advance the story and the characters were just so damn engrossing. The dialog in particular was incredibly well written.<br />
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The game's main story focuses on Nate's long lost brother and their dynamic over time, but make no mistake- the real emotional core of the story is Elena and Nate. Naughty Dog leans hard into their own characters, legitimizing them as original creations and not just genre archetypes. I needn't really speak of the gameplay, because that was always the absolute strong point of the franchise. <i>Uncharted 4</i> continues the trend, delivering hours of intense shootouts, car chases, fist fights, and all manner of action packed set pieces for which there are no adequate adjectives.<br />
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In short, you really can't go wrong with <i>Uncharted 4</i>. It's a masterpiece of a game.Joseph Sheldahlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07851803148817458591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5553676971915847757.post-44668217770172490142017-01-31T09:05:00.003-08:002017-01-31T09:05:23.326-08:00Duel to the Death<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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If there's one thing I'm a sucker for, it's a good ninja movie. And while neither of the leads in this movie is a ninja himself, that doesn't mean there isn't plenty to go around in <i>Duel to the Death</i>. Easily harkening back to the early days of the Shaw Brothers, this HK actioner delivers wholesale, straight-faced, chop socky action by the pound- and it is glorious. The story is simple and straightforward (mostly) which is a relief. I enjoy these movies more when I can follow them- but let's be honest here, you didn't come for the story (which isn't bad). No, you came for the legions of motherfreakin' ninjas. Am I right or am I right?<br />
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<i>Duel to the Death</i> was made in a historical sweet spot, as one of the last SB-esque Hong Kong actioners, it has the old school shop-socky flavor that would quickly be lost to the 'grand historical epic' like <i>Hero </i>or <i>Red Cliff</i>. <i>Duel to the Death </i>also revolves around a... well... duel to the death between a swordsman from Japan and one from China- each representing their own respective country. The filmmakers exploit every ounce of the Japanese influence they can- mainly by flooding the screen with motherfreakin' ninjas whenever possible. There are times I felt like I was watching a <i>Lone Wolf and Cub</i> flick, and that is never a bad thing.<br />
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Ninjas popping out of the sand, ninjas flying through the trees, ninjas exploding, ninjas kidnapping people, ninjas throwing nets, ninjas chopping off limbs, ninjas doing that running thing that they do, and even ninja titties. <i>Ninja motherfreakin' titties</i>. Yessir, outside of Cannon's bizarre trilogy of unrelated ninja movies, this is one of the craziest I've seen. It's a movie that doesn't dare ground itself in a little thing I like to call reality. If you're the type of person who questions why a talking severed head that's been impaled on a tree branch suddenly explodes after it says its last words- this movie probably isn't for you.<br />
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Gravity is a convenience in this flick, easily shirked aside whenever the set pieces call for some literal high-flying action. The two duelists must fight corruption from both sides and a dangerous conspiracy that threatens the honor and integrity of two countries. And, of course, they also have to fights dozens and dozens of ninjas. Moreover, make no mistake, the ninjas in this movie aren't just skilled assassins. They're the kind of ninjas that do things that are impossible on every level. Flying through the air, disappearing entirely, combining their bodies to form one giant super-ninja, and- yeah. You get the point. You're either someone who thinks this sounds stupid, or someone who's saying "Holy crap, I need to see this now." Personally, I'm the latter.<br />
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The acting from the two leads is surprisingly good, and this melodramatic tale makes sure they have as much to say as they do to fight, but there is literally never a dull moment in this flick. From stunning sets to bizarre visuals, excellent cinematography and endlessly inventive action choreography, <i>Duel to the Death</i> is an absolute delight. It's as weird and crazy as it is nonstop fun. Its straight-faced and serious nature surprisingly doesn't clash with its weirder elements, but instead the final product feels like a fantastical retelling of a real event. I don't know if any of the stuff in this movie ever happened, but often the movie unfolds with the conviction of a historical drama... and then some<i> motherfreakin' ninjas</i> show up. Pass the popcorn!Joseph Sheldahlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07851803148817458591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5553676971915847757.post-90418290093788469602017-01-30T21:36:00.003-08:002017-01-30T21:39:19.564-08:00Flatliners<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I'll see just about any movie with Kevin Bacon or Kiefer Sutherland in it. Together? Well, that's definitely going on my watchlist. Why then, it took me so long to get around to <i>Flatliners </i>is well beyond me. Sutherland and Bacon are joined by Julia Roberts, Oliver Platt and William Baldwin all as med students who end up running an off-the-books experiment to see if there really is life after death. Now, I was personally hoping for a movie with a stronger science fiction inclination, but what I got instead was maybe even better. Director Joel Schumacher delivers a (then-)modern Gothic cautionary tale in vein of Frankenstein- only in reverse.<br />
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Instead of a horror tale obsessed with reviving the dead, this is one about about quite the opposite. The movie is chock full of Gothic imagery and massive sets that cement the movie firmly in 'fantasy'. But, that's not a bad thing. This is absolutely a Gothic fantasy. Our leads are absolutely each one a Victor Frankenstein in their own right. Without the vibrantly colorful style and explicitly Gothic aesthetic of the movie, I'm not so sure it would've been worth the ride. It's an entertaining little flick as is, but in the end it feels rather routine.<br />
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The movie is almost hard to watch at times because it strains the limits of plausibility. Who in their right mind would volunteer to be medically killed, and stay dead for up to five minutes, all in the name of MAYBE finding out what happens after death- and then being resuscitated? The movie would have you believe that none of the leads are in their right minds, but then it's hard to care about what happens to a bunch of unhinged and egotistical daredevils. Bad shit is going to happen to them. Duh. So, in that sense, a lot of the suspense never quite landed for me.<br />
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Kevin Bacon's character is the ever-present voice of reason, and easily the only relatable character in the movie for me. But, why he chooses to go along with the experiments in the first place is still beyond me. For such a character driven thriller, its characters are probably its weakest point. Moreover, Sutherland is in full <i>Lost Boys</i> mode. He's so clearly an unstable maniac, that not only can I not believe that anyone would put their life in his hands, I can't believe he even has any friends. He does not seem stable in the slightest, yet manages to suck all these other people down with him. Oh, the plot tries to give its little reasons, but its too little- too late.<br />
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If you can shove all of that to the back of your mind, the atmosphere and the visuals are expertly crafted and make the movie well worth watching- weak story aside. Yet, I never felt the movie explored its own central concept deeply enough. It just ends up being a game of 'whos gonna die next?', and that got fairly old. There was an opportunity to go well and fully off the rails into some supremely messed up and visually stunning territory, but the movie is too reserved to go there. It was well paced, well acted, and the production design was an absolute treat...<br />
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-But, if you're looking for a sci-fi/horror/thriller about life and/or death- with an academic backdrop? See Altered States instead. Or better yet, double feature that one with Jacob's Ladder. Only the bored and cinematically well versed need venture here. <i>Flatliners </i>is visually interesting, and recalls the best kind of Gothic atmosphere for it's little tale, and it's adequately satisfying, but is ultimately kind of just... average.Joseph Sheldahlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07851803148817458591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5553676971915847757.post-37806130018936006242017-01-28T23:17:00.001-08:002017-01-28T23:17:19.740-08:00Carnage Park<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i> Carnage Park</i> is probably one of the worst movies I've seen in a long while. It recklessly bounces back and forth between rip-off, homage, and pastiche so furiously that it's impossible to give a shit about anything that's going on. This is a 77 minute wankfest to the tune of Tarantino, Peckinpah, and Rob Zombie. And honestly? The only thing that carries it is the the strength of the actors. Everything else is god awful. The editing is mind-numbingly bad, the story is convoluted, the plot goes virtually nowhere, and the ending is horribly anti-climactic.<br />
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The Netflix blurb promised a survival thriller as a bank robber and his hostage have to evade the crosshairs of a psychotic sniper. This sounded really cool to me, and I was sure I'd enjoy the movie. If anything it was bound to be entertaining on some level. Right? Nah. The more I watched, the more irritated I got. The movie makes no good use of it's villain- who apparently spends all his time making weird traps and setting up voice recordings everywhere. Remember he's supposed to be a psychotic sniper? But, as the movie goes on, it just keeps heaping tropes on there in a 'kitchen sink' mentality. Not only is he a sniper, he's a redneck hillbilly, who has a brother in the sheriff's dept. and who's a criminal mastermind/serial killer who's been doing this for years. COME ON!<br />
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There's brief glimpses of a good movie in here, or even a fun one, but it's all washed out in bland cinematography, trite dialog, boring characters, amateurish plotting, and a general waste of potential around every corner. The first act of the movie sets up the bank robbers as main characters, and they're ENTIRELY out of the picture once the movie finally picks up steam. It's Tarantino-esque predilection for flashy introductions and non-linear storytelling is furiously at odds with the rest of the movie, and comes off as annoying if anything. The whole misleading first act is even more frustrating once you realize the movie has nothing else good up its sleeve. Once things 'get going', the movie becomes even drier and more rote than you could imagine.<br />
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Also, I realize that the people who seem to be enjoying this movie, are the ones looking for a horror fix. They're also the same people who call <i>Green Room</i> a disappointment because it was a <u>thriller</u> and not a <u>horror</u> movie. <i>Carnage Park</i> is split right down it's unsightly middle as a haphazard and sophomoric blend of (not-)true crime thriller and bullshit Rob Zombie horror aesthetic. Yet, unsurprisingly, it does neither well. BUT HEY, HORROR FANS, AT LEAST THERE'S GORE AND A MASKED KILLER WHO LIKES TO LAUGH CREEPILY AT PEOPLE. The climax drags on and on, slowing to a crawl and a pitch black screen, the movie winds down as the protagonist stumbles around in an abandoned mining tunnel with no light.<br />
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...Which is exactly how I felt as a viewer. Except instead of being consumed with hopelessness and terror, it was annoyance and disbelief.<br />
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As the heroine finally escapes from the killer's terribly improbable gauntlet of horrors, and every horror cliche in the book has been dutifully checked off (from creepy laughing doll, to killer who wears a gas mask for no reason, to an endless slew of jump scares... ugh) she stands there in frantic relief, crying, laughing, and gasping for breath. I couldn't even see the character at this point. It was instead, the actress herself who had just survived this grueling shitfest of a movie. I'd argue that the director was the real villain here.Joseph Sheldahlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07851803148817458591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5553676971915847757.post-67628628142603949232017-01-28T23:02:00.004-08:002017-01-28T23:02:44.153-08:00Welcome to the Punch<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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James McAvoy and Mark Strong star in this UK crime thriller about personal vendettas, gun running, and a dangerous conspiracy. If you're like me, you just say "Say no more- I'm sold!" and you've already departed your sofa to go find a copy. However, if you're still reading you're probably not a fanboy of McAvoy and Strong- or at least, not as much as I am. Oddly enough though, it wasn't their names that spurred me to watch the movie when I first saw it. It was the reckless and ill-fitting comparison that some amateur keyboard critic made, likening this movie, to John Woo's <i>Hard Boiled</i>. <br /><br />Screw that guy.<br />
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What's the first thing that comes to mind when you think of <i>Hard Boiled</i>? Conflicts of loyalty? Long dramatic pauses? Police drama? No. Of course not. You think of shooting, guns, explosions, and all of it in glorious slow motion and meticulously choreographed. So screw that critic for making me think this movie was anything like that. I came into '<i>Punch </i>expecting a bullet ballet movie, and instead I got all of Woo's more talky offerings instead. So when there wasn't a jazzy car chase, or a massive explosion around every corner, I was disheartened. I couldn't see the movie that was right in front of me, because I was mourning one that didn't exist. (Unless you count <i>Wanted</i>, albeit sans Mark Strong...)<br />
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I'm telling you right now, <i>Welcome to the Punch</i> is a crime thriller first, a character drama second, and an action movie third. It's a well crafted and sleek piece of entertainment, but if you come looking for a relentless shoot em' up, you're likely to be disappointed. Which would be a shame, because both McAvoy and Strong turn in excellent performances. Even if both of their characters have been done to death a thousand times over in the vast cinema pantheon of Michael Manns, Brian De Palmas, and Christopher Nolans- they're still well worth watching. They inhabit their characters with gusto and flair, going for broke whenever they can. It works.<br />
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Strong has the better end of the deal here, playing an enigmatic thief who is lured out of hiding when he discovers that his son is in danger. Strong plays the role with a quiet nobility and a detached curiosity. He seems to study the people around him, observing their emotions and reactions- scanning them like a machine who doesn't quite understand, but is relentlessly curious. As a pitch perfect counterpoint to his coldness, is McAvoy who is at his best playing an absolute screw-up of a cop. Someone who is smart and good at what he does, but gets in his own way. Life has dealt him a shitty hand, and he's never quite sure how to handle it from moment to moment.<br />
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Nevertheless, there is a temper there, and a fire burning behind his intense stare. See, McAvoy and Strong (can't be bothered to remember or google their characters' names) had a brief and violent encounter with each other in the past which ended with McAvoy injured, and Strong getting away- so you can imagine the festering vendetta that's been brewing this whole time. Even more explosive is the realization that they might not be enemies after all- or at least, something worse might be lurking under the details of this sordid plot.<br />
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Bullets do fly, and the movie indulges in framing it's shootouts stylishly- but it's never overkill. <i>Welcome to the Punch</i> has a few standout action scenes, but in a market saturated with a half dozen <i>Fast and Furious</i> sequels, <i>Deadpool</i>, and the like, it's not hard to see why a movie like this would seem underwhelming to those looking for an action fix. Nevetheless, the movie doesn't skimp on it's requisite shootouts, and while they aren't on the level of John Woo, they are beyond competent and perfectly intense in their own right- especially one standout little set piece that's worth buying the blu ray for all by itself.<br />
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In short, <i>Welcome to the Punch</i> is a perfectly serviceable crime thriller that's entertaining despite being a tad overly familiar. It's definitely not the most original work in the genre, but it's populated with enough unique touches and well crafted excitement to warrant a watch. It also doesn't hurt that the cast is absolutely amazing, bringing their A-list chops to a movie that seriously flew under the radar here in the states. It's a shame that it still hasn't gotten a bigger following, it's a seriously decent movie that's easy to watch and easy to recommend.Joseph Sheldahlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07851803148817458591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5553676971915847757.post-60537959217081955762017-01-26T10:09:00.004-08:002017-01-26T10:09:30.512-08:00Ouija: Origin of Evil<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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When I first heard they were doing an Ouija horror movie, I knew it'd be dumb. It was- or so I heard. It was mercilessly panned by critics and audiences alike, a true sign of a bad movie. But, then, something odd happened. Universal Studios green lit a prequel, that would be directed by Mike Flanagan... the director of <i>Oculus </i>and <i>Hush</i>. Like, damn. Then, the movie came out and started getting some great reviews. Is the movie as good as they say it is? Offhand, I'd say hell yeah. Flanagan knows what he's doing, and even with sloppy seconds he turns it into something chilling.<br />
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Ouija boards never scared me, and this movie doesn't aim to make them scary, but rather... the 'it' you might be communicating with is what's actually terrifying. <i>Ouija: Origin of Evil</i> is a refreshingly straightforward horror movie that builds atmosphere and sets up some completely effective jump scares. It fits nicely into the little modern day horror niche carved out by by films like <i>Insidious </i>and <i>The Conjuring</i>. It features a struggling family beset by supernatural terror. The strength of this flick lies in it's detailed and careful approach to the story.<br />
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It's not groundbreaking or overwhelmingly original, but it does what it does with aplomb and a genuine sense of showmanship. The movie opens with a neat little scene, showing all the literal bells and whistles behind a 'seance', and in a lot of ways its a scene that sets the tone for the rest of the movie. Nobody has their hands on the planchette here, the movie is showing you that it's not going for all the easy little string-pulls and door slams. All the scares and tension in this movie are earned and well crafted. It's a back-to-basics that really works, and simultaneously infuses some fresh ideas into the genre.<br />
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I don't want to spoil anything, so I won't dive into details, but I'd be remiss if I didn't point out the pitch perfect 60's aesthetic of the movie. The story is set in 1965 Los Angeles, and we know that by context. The way people are dressed, the way they talk. The movie doesn't beat the audience over the head with needle drops or flashy montages. This could've easily been a movie made in the 60's. Excellent. It made me smile every time I saw the reel change marks. Speaking of excellence, young Lulu Wilson carries most of the movie squarely on her 11 year old shoulders, and she's absolutely perfect in the role.<br />
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She plays Doris Zander, the youngest of two daughters to professional medium, Alice Zander, played with gusto by Elizabeth Reaser. Alice ends up incorporating a Ouija board into her seance act, only to find out that Doris can actually contact spirits. Of course, nothing ever stays so innocent, and things quickly get dark. The movie can make subtle background details or conversations as scary and as haunting as any of it's flashy jump scares. The movie also features some fantastic horror visuals. Again, I don't wanna dive into specifics, because I'm recommending you just go check it out.<br />
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It's not a super fast movie, or a super gory movie, but it's a very engaging and haunting movie. It tackles familiar genre tropes from new angles, and serves up a stunning buffet of well crafted scares. Again, it's not the most original or groundbreaking movie, but it's a solid entry into a genre that's far too often 'miss' than 'hit'. <i>Ouija: Origin of Evil</i> is a hit.Joseph Sheldahlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07851803148817458591noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5553676971915847757.post-44144957258445892932017-01-25T22:32:00.003-08:002017-01-25T22:32:32.315-08:00Arrival<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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There was a point in <i>Arrival </i>where I caught myself holding my breath. Something that I rarely do while watching movies unless it's a horror movie. It's the anticipation, you see. In <i>Arrival</i>, it was as we were getting our first glimpse of the aliens. It's such a thunderous and powerful moment, but not in the same way that Hollywood has been doing lately- or really, ever, for that matter. I'm hard pressed to recall more than a few movies about extraterrestrials that don't end with a patriotic display of heroism involving a ton of explosions and one liners. <i>Arrival </i>is one that doesn't.<br />
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<i>Arrival </i>immediately finds itself among cinematic company of the highest caliber, inviting easy comparisons to movies like <i>Close Encounters of the Third Kind </i>and of course, <i>2001: A Space Odyssey</i>. Yet the movie is nothing like those two, really. Apart from the fact that they're all serious science fiction movies without an action/violence element to them. I found myself scanning online comments about the movie, which... is just, never a good idea. Ever. And, I found people calling it underwhelming and boring. "Meh." seemed to be the general attitude towards it. Nothing has made me so profoundly sad in so long.<br />
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"It wasn't an action movie, and that made it suck." Devastating words right there. <i>Arrival </i>is one of the smartest, most intimate, moving and engrossing movies I've seen in a long time. While a lesser movie has its protagonists racing to find a super weapon to destroy their alien invaders, <i>Arrival </i>has its leads racing to try and <i>understand </i>these alien visitors. The movie never really suggests that they are invaders. Sure, the whole concept is insanely intimidating, but <i>Arrival </i>is smart enough to paint any trigger happy reactions as absurd and unwarranted. The movie handles the concept of first contact with all the scope and scale you could hope for, but with far more heart and emotion than I ever expected.<br />
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As much as it is a movie about aliens, and finding common ground, it's also a movie about the human condition on a very personal level. It's a movie that tackles the concepts of loss, love, and what makes life worthwhile. But it weaves all these things together in a smart and calculating way. It approaches these things with subtlety, unlike movies such blunt as <i>Interstellar</i>, <i>The Abyss,</i> <i>E.T</i>. or <i>Mission to Mars</i>. And, while some of those are undeniably entertaining, there's always a point where everything 'clicks' and the mystery is gone, as is my interest in the movie. <i>Arrival </i>is too smart to let the wind out of its own sails like that. The movie functions like a well oiled machine, right up to the final frame.<br />
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When everything 'clicks' in <i>Arrival</i>, it's not a blindsided twist or an anti-climactic revelation. Instead, it's the culmination of everything the characters in the movie have been working towards. It's an excellent climax, and a stunning third act to a movie that I found relentlessly fascinating throughout. <i>Arrival </i>is a very cerebral science fiction movie, one that is a perfect antidote to the kind of butter-saturated popcorn nonsense that are movies like Independence Day: Resurgence. Granted, sci-fi is a broad genre, with room for all kinds of stories in it. Some movies use sci-fi elements as a backdrop for an action movie, others for comedy- and that's perfectly okay... but...<br />
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Nevertheless, <i>Arrival </i>doesn't just use sci-fi as a backdrop, it embraces the concept of a science fiction story itself, with the backdrop actually being a very human level drama. The idea that someone would dislike a sci-fi movie simply because aliens weren't the bad guys who needed to be blown up makes my brain hurt, and my heart sad. Sci-fi movies always prompted me to think big, to wonder about things. The best of sci-fi always spurred deep questions in me not only about the universe I live in, but about myself, humanity, and where we're headed as a species. <i>Arrival </i>is the kind of movie that would spur those same musings in a person. I know it did in me. It's fascinating, suspenseful, smart, and genuinely moving.<br />
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I could write a whole 'nother article about the visuals of the movie, and about the cinematography, or how the camera moves through each scene with recurring visual cues, but what I truly walked away from the movie feeling was a massive sense of wonder. That speaks for itself. The acting is fantastic all the way around, the story is great, and I loved it. Basically, there are two ends of the spectrum. The kind of movie where the guy who launches nukes at the aliens is a good guy, and the kind of movie where he's the bad guy. This is the latter. But, I'm over simplifying things. <i>Arrival </i>is above the kind of simplistic good/bad thing. It's a movie that doesn't need a villain, or big action set pieces. Its leads don't have to outrun a CGI apocalypse... they just have to try and communicate with some beings very different to us. I couldn't imagine a more perfect movie for this day and age.<br />
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Go see it. I couldn't recommend it more.Joseph Sheldahlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07851803148817458591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5553676971915847757.post-43239974814826102282017-01-25T16:40:00.001-08:002017-01-25T16:40:20.317-08:00Deadpool<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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It's almost a year since <i>Deadpool </i>came out, and I seem to be the last person on the planet to snag it on blu ray. But, better late then never- right? Don't attribute my procrastinating to a dislike of the movie. On the contrary, I was quite surprised by how much I enjoyed <i>Deadpool</i>. Especially since I was all but cheerleading for the movie to absolutely flop before it came out. (In my defense, all the halfwit "fans" out there calling this "the first R rated comic book movie" got on my nerves in a big, BIG way.) Nevertheless, a year later- would my feeling about <i>Deadpool </i>maintain? Or would the movie end up losing it's charm like a 2 billion dollar box office shit commonly known as <i>Star Wars: The Force Awakens</i>? Hmmm...<br />
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Well, there's good news, and bad news. Good news is, I still really like the movie. The bad news? -Which shouldn't come as a surprise to any objective viewer- the movie is pedestrian as fuck. As... <i>fuck</i>. <i>Deadpool </i>in the comics wasn't just a funny R rated character, he was a <i>crazy </i>R rated character. As in <u>literally</u> insane. He had an actual death wish because he lived in constant agony, to the point where he would visualize death as a beautiful woman who he could never hook up with, but was always pining for. How does the movie handle all of this? It mercilessly tossed it out the window of a speeding car, all the way back at the planning phase of this little flick.<br />
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See, Wade Wilson (<i>Deadpool</i>) isn't crazy in this movie. He just has a dark sense of humor. (Super edgy though because jokes about molestation and clown porn.) Oh and he doesn't have an infatuation with lady death, just the space hooker from Firefly, who just plays a regular hooker here. (Way to be progressive guys!) Thus, the whole movie turns away from it's source material in the worst way it possibly could, it becomes a love story... exactly like every other superhero movie. Ever. (Except <i>Dredd</i>, but apparently the whole fucking world fucking forgot about that fucking movie. Fuck.) How progressive is <i>Deadpool</i>'s uber-violence and raunchy humor worth, if the story is as generic as they come?<br />
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Apparently, people also forgot about <i>Kick-Ass</i> and <i>Kick-Ass 2</i> because those movies did <i>exactly </i>what <i>Deadpool </i>does. <i>Kick-Ass</i> is still fun, but ultimately feels like rather middle-of-the-road fare several years on. But here- <i>Deadpool</i>'s story is basic, it's pacing is janky, and it's plot structure is erratic as fuck. What it does do, it does well. It's gratuitously violent (the best kind of violent to be), energetic, funny, and full of wit. So while none of those things are particularly cutting edge or ground breaking, <i>Deadpool </i>is still well made and a lot of fun. The movie is carried entirely on the shoulders of Ryan Reynolds who bounces through the movie with the energy of an atomic bouncy ball. His chops in the action set pieces and his comedic timing make the movie well worth watching.<br />
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Unfortunately, nobody seems to realize that they missed the whole point of <i>Deadpool</i>. He's still been reduced to "ha ha, funny guy with swords", and yeah, that is his main, well known image- but the <i>Deadpool </i>game that came out a few years ago did a better job of capturing the nature of his character. I'm not saying he's a character that you could hitch a major thinkpiece of a motion picture to. No. A good <i>Deadpool </i>movie should indeed be fast, violent, and full of one liners- which this one is -but, in making this a love story, it lost the edge that the comics have, and dulled his character down to being the commonplace comic relief that wouldn't be out of place in a kid's cartoon. The hype over it's R rating was absolute nonsense, and part of my pre-release ire was entirely justified.<br />
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Yet, I'm far more willing to make excuses for a movie so gloriously in touch with the kind of 80's, B-movie, uber-violence that most blockbusters these days shy away from. Impalings, beheadings, stabbings, choppings, explosions, car crashes, bones breaking, and general blood gushing- <i>Deadpool </i>manages to entertain with both barrels blazing. It's a severely imperfect movie, but <i>far </i>from 'bad'. Is Ryan Reynolds the ideal Deadpool? Fuck yes. Is this the ideal <i>Deadpool </i>movie? Almost- and for now, that's good enough for me. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGx6K90TmCI">Cue the music</a>...Joseph Sheldahlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07851803148817458591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5553676971915847757.post-18150255233261473972017-01-22T21:22:00.000-08:002017-01-22T21:22:03.174-08:00Attack on Titan: Part 2<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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It was probably wise of the marketing team to eventually drop the "End of the World" subtitle when bringing this sequel to home video, because frankly it really is just a part 2. It's a wrap-up to all the dangling plot threads that the first movie left hanging. It's a sequel by the strictest definition only considering that the first movie left on a big cliffhanger. Full disclosure, I loved the first one. It's imperfect, but a hell of a fun time. If you don't like fun, then go ahead and listen to all the rabid fan-hate and reviews that criticize everything from the actors' haircuts to the choice of the song that plays over the end credits. Me? I'll be over here with a fresh batch of popcorn and a big-ass grin on my face.<br />
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There's a lot of movies out there that the general public isn't very familiar with, obviously. But one of them is a little gem called <i>Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky</i>. It's ridiculous, melodramatic, and one of the goriest non-horror movies ever made. Period. I love that movie, and it's absurdly over-the-top blood and guts routine is rarely matched by any movie, but<i> Attack on Titan</i> in both parts almost gets there. I don't give a crap about whatever philosophical statement these movies were supposed to make, if any. I didn't give a crap about that stuff when I watched the anime either. I just fuckin' love the intensely exhilarating action set pieces and rampant creativity of both.<br />
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So when Titan-Erin goes beast mode and starts laying in on the titans at the end of the first movie, I was just about ready to cheer. It perfectly marries the absurd goriness of <i>Riki-Oh</i> with the colossal throwdowns of a Godzilla movie. The climax of part 2 is similarly epic, and manages to show us some truly wild sights. And, that is one of the biggest reasons why I love these movies- warts and all. There's nothing else really like it out there in live action. That counts for a lot with me, personally. I love weird movies and violent movies, and movies that have things you can't see anywhere else. Wild, bizzare, and visually impressive. <i>Attack on Titan</i> part 1 and 2 are all those things and more.<br />
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I appreciate a good story and good acting as much as the next cinephille, but to pretend like those things are the only things that make a movie compelling is retarded. I personally don't mind the story in these movies. The plot is a bit thinly stretched in part 1, and too densely packed in this exposition dump of a follow up, but as a single unit, they balance each other out. The acting is serviceable all the way around, especially so since the movie rarely requires more than one or two emotions from each character. But, honestly, I had such a blast with this. I got it by the end of part 2. This is just a big silly comic book brought to life.<br />
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Whether or not that is an accurate tone to strike when adapting the anime and/or the manga, I don't know, and frankly... I don't care. I love the anime too, but for the same reasons I love the movie. It's so wild and different. Nevertheless, it's hard to not love seeing character actor Jun Kunimura as Kubal in full Tetsuo mode by the end of the movie- right down to the billowing tattered cape and melodramatic scowl. I love it. It's so comic book, so crazy, and even if it's uneven and dense, it's still such an engaging and ridiculously fun ride- both parts. Sure, there's a three minute recap of the previous movie in the beginning which is wholly unnecessary, and there's way too many damn flashbacks throughout in a movie that's already painfully short as is... but STILL. There's also way too much negativity about these movies out there, and most of it is coming from fans who have the wrong idea about adaptations.<br />
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I could stand on this soapbox and beat my drum all damn day long. I love books, and comics, and video games, and all those things end up having countless cinematic adaptations. Most fans of the former, hate the latter. But why? Because usually it omits a character they liked, their favorite scene, or a line of dialog. GOD FORBID THAT YOUR FAVORITE 400 PAGE BOOK COULDN'T BE METICULOUSLY ADAPTED WORD FOR WORD! At this point, you have to ask yourself why bother with adaptations at all? Because they are a visual companion piece. You get to see the world and the aesthetics of this thing, brought to life with real people. That's worth something. That's engaging and engrossing.<br />
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It's why I love <i>Dune</i>, the book <i>and </i>the David Lynch movie. Sure, the movie does a terrible job of staying true to the letter of the book but... does it even need to? It's the visuals of that movie that matter- and of any adaptation for that matter. Granted, there are outright bad adaptations. Movies that absolutely fail at being a decent movie on its own merits, and/or movies that egregiously misunderstand the point of the material it's adapting. (see: <i>V for Vendetta</i>, <i>The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen</i>) but <i>Attack on Titan</i> suffers from neither malady. The movies are eye popping, thrilling, emotionally engaging, and a lot of fun.<br />
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Closing thought: every blockbuster movie needs Satomi Ishihara reacting to the big effects sequences exactly like she does in this movie.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>WOOOOOOAH MY GOD! I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT!</i></td></tr>
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<i>Yes</i>. This would make every movie 200% more fun. At <i>least </i>200%. At least.<br /><br />Joseph Sheldahlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07851803148817458591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5553676971915847757.post-74881319276687413892017-01-22T18:24:00.004-08:002017-01-22T18:26:37.318-08:00Attack on Titan<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Note: This review is for the live action movie, not the anime show.</i></td></tr>
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I find it hilarious how anime fans complain about what the 'west', (read: where they're from, here in the United States) does to their favorite animes by adapting them into live action movies, but the same fans complain when Japan does it too. Can't win for losing with these people. But, seriously, pay no attention to them and keep an open mind. A good movie is a good movie (<i>Rurouni Kenshin</i>) and a bad movie is a bad movie (<i>Devilman</i>). But, some fans are incapable of being objective, and that's why <i>Attack on Titan</i> has so many 1/10 scores on IMDb. Because if something isn't the most amazing thing ever, obviously it's the worst thing <i>ever</i>.<br />
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I'm here to provide a less infantile review of the movie. It certainly isn't the worst movie ever, or even the worst anime adaptation. That particular achievement would probably go to DragonBall: Evolution and/or <i>Devilman</i>. Those movies fail on every possible level. <i>Attack on Titan</i> doesn't. In fact, quite the opposite, it succeeds on most counts. And, of course they were going to change some things. Settings, plot details, character motivation, and even omitting non-essential characters altogether. Infantile fans often list these changes as flaws or errors with the movie, but they couldn't be further from it. <i>Attack on Titan </i>streamlines the story from the anime and makes it work better for a movie.<br />
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A movie is a different format and medium than an episodic show- and even more different if it's live action as opposed to animation. As such, this movie, does an admirable job of introducing us to the main characters and endearing them to us. The absolute best thing about this movie though, is how fearless it was in depicting the titans. Even the film's detractors usually admit this. The titans are terrifying and creepy, and most of all- NOT computer generated. Not even the colossal titan. Of course, certain CG elements are added and laid over certain practical effects, but the CG elements in the movie are surprisingly well done considering the budget of the movie. In fact, I found the CGI absolutely admirable.<br />
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Nevertheless, the amount of old school effects in <i>Attack on Titan</i> make the movie feel like a classic monster flick. It feels like at any moment, Godzilla could show up and go to toe with these titans. I <i>love </i>that about this movie. Overall, is it a beat for beat perfect adaptation? No. Is it a perfectly serviceable monster movie with inventive action scenes? Yes. Hell yes even. The action scenes are kinetic and full of bombastic energy as well as buckets upon buckets of gore. This movie could've been cut off at the knees, and sanitized for a wider audience, but if anything the live action medium afforded the makers the chance to ground the horrors and action of the property in reality and make it even scarier. In my opinion... they succeeded.<br />
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When the colossal titan breaks the wall, and the titans lay siege to the city... it's absolutely harrowing and downright disturbing. Extremely minimal use of CG in this sequence meant that all elements had scale and weight to them. Rarely is the immersion broken. The titans look scarily realistic. The approach of using real people as opposed to a more overt 'effect' really helped the movie. So when one of them picks a human up and rips them apart in it's mouth, it's disgusting. I loved it. The movie is a bit melodramatic, but who could honestly say that the anime wasn't? Gimme a break. Absolutely everything about this movie is over the top.<br />
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I am a fan of the anime, and I'm dying of anticipation for season 2, but I genuinely enjoyed this movie nonetheless. Sure, some peripheral characters are gone, and others have been fundamentally changed, but again, I feel it works better on the big screen in a more time-limited format. The highlights of the anime were faithfully translated into the highlights of this live action movie. I found the movie occasionally uneven with it's pacing, some character drama borders on overkill, and certain scenes drag a bit too much, but all is made good by the wealth of gore, action, and straight-up horror elements and set pieces that are peppered throughout the movie.<br />
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Approach it with an open mind, and I'm sure you'll like it. Educate yourself on the adaptation process and educate yourself about the special and visual effects. I refuse to be a fan who is always prepared to dislike something if it doesn't fit their absurdly strict criteria for existing. <u>Fuck</u> those fans. <i>Attack on Titan</i> is a blast. This is my second time watching it, and from the scary titan siege, to the absolutely epic climax, I loved this imperfect little flick.Joseph Sheldahlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07851803148817458591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5553676971915847757.post-84794451400328329662017-01-19T21:15:00.003-08:002017-01-20T07:42:53.702-08:00Faust: Love of the Damned<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I found myself browsing my eternal watchlist of movies today, and decided on watching this early 00's comic book movie. But, of course, like any good little nerd, I did my research first. I got my hands on some of the comics and checked them out. Sex, violence, more sex, more violence, and more satanic imagery than you could shake an entire 80's heavy metal band at. Sounds like it's right up my alley! So how would the movie approach such graphic and vulgar material? You get Brian Yuzna to direct it, that's fucking how.<br />
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The first note I mentally took while watching <i>Faust: Love of the Damned</i>, was that leading man Mark Frost was incredibly hard to watch, but simultaneously pitch perfect for the role of John Jaspers. He alternates between mumbling most of his lines through an ugly-cry face, or yelling them with the fury of a thousand dying suns. There is rarely any middle ground, and when there is- it's a a dopey thousand yard stare. In short... Frost hams it right the fuck up. God, I half expected him to choke because he wasn't just chewing scenery, he was shoving it down his throat wholesale. It takes a lot to be a scene stealer in a movie full of actors who are great at the same kind of shit.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEge5Vpxa7UkdTKLGYJEeyGcNZT3pes3HHdrOE3dOgoIWSKrR-l0910NJFVDW7mY_GiqoIy4-lCHQvIbE0SyQa-S0ldIDN4mOiBn7dMgQ7LJmKZS7cS5Yb2UYe9YKfrawpkzcBa4F-3WGFle/s1600/ugly+cry.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEge5Vpxa7UkdTKLGYJEeyGcNZT3pes3HHdrOE3dOgoIWSKrR-l0910NJFVDW7mY_GiqoIy4-lCHQvIbE0SyQa-S0ldIDN4mOiBn7dMgQ7LJmKZS7cS5Yb2UYe9YKfrawpkzcBa4F-3WGFle/s400/ugly+cry.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Wasn't kidding about the ugly cry.</i></td></tr>
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Don't mistake my description of his acting as a criticism. Frost is relentlessly entertaining. Doubly so once he's kitted out in full bodysuit and impaling bad guys on his <i>Predator</i>-like claws. (Or yeah Wolverine claws, whatever, shut up.) Frost looks great in the Faust suit, and the special effects are a treat- from the splatter-happy gore to all the satanic super powers on display. Ultimately, <i>Faust: Love of the Damned</i> is a 90 something minute exercise in bad taste and it's frickin' wonderful. It's characters are put through horrible things, people are dismembered, impaled, and tortured- and even when it tests the limits of the audience (one character is forced to relive the memory of her rape when she was 11 years old,) the movie is too stupid and "edgy" to offend in earnest.<br />
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But no no no, the movie doesn't stop there. It aims to gross out anyone it couldn't offend (just like the comics). The climax of the movie revolves around a satanic rituals- complete with human sacrifice, a full-on orgy/murder-fest, and all of this is shown in fairly explicit detail. The movie is gleefully over the top, but anyone who is genuinely disturbed by anything in <i>Faust</i>, probably shouldn't be watching it in the first place. It's not unlike the artwork of a heavy metal album come to life in full bloody glory. Honestly, It's fucking awesome. Whenever Faust is hacking and slashing at baddies and anyone who gets in his path, the movie soars. It's brilliantly violent, and I loved that about it.<br />
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The movie also stars Andrew Divoff as 'M' who near as I can tell is like, the devil- or at least the next best thing. Divoff is an excellent counterpoint to Frost. He's actually pretty haunting in the role, which requires far too much flamboyancy for the kind of nuanced performance he's trying to put in. He's a major highlight of the movie. Then we also have Jeffrey Combs as a police detective. A good role that went to shit unfortunately, and there's the start of the issues with this movie. It absolutely comes apart at the seams, embodying the worst and most easily criticized aspects of comic books.<br />
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Characters make mind boggling decisions, complete with about-face betrayals that happen in a vacuum of good sense and logic. The plot plays fast and loose with it's own established rules without providing the audience with any justifying context whatsoever. Things seem to just... happen, after a while. It's terribly unfocused- that is, only if you stop to think about it. Whatever flaws <i>Faust </i>has are easily overlooked thanks to it's reckless approach to a good time. Special effects, ear blasting metal music, tits, ass, sex, gore, violence and edgy content galore in this all you can eat horror/comic-book movie.<br />
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Sure, I would've liked more of Frost as Faust in his own movie, and there was far too much of Divoff as M. But what we got, as imperfect as it is, was still a blast. Put simply, if I'm going to make excuses for a comic book movie specifically about a guy who sells his soul for revenge and satanic super powers- I'm going to defend <i>Faust </i>instead of <i>Spawn</i>. The former is absolutely the movie that the latter should've been. Neither is particularly, good, but at least one of them is unabashedly self-indulgent and totally fun.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVlsJsvVmbrWHXlDD362sQFjgDoHAeT3OVlelIiOhtEsPDbEkcarT7QeAE8S10UTUICriK6r9STYXE0hkdfUVazC5W14RiZaH3cVJAQQs9xvWOta5PwKLr1xllpt8O4YRFn2dG_Uk43qI2/s1600/angry+face.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVlsJsvVmbrWHXlDD362sQFjgDoHAeT3OVlelIiOhtEsPDbEkcarT7QeAE8S10UTUICriK6r9STYXE0hkdfUVazC5W14RiZaH3cVJAQQs9xvWOta5PwKLr1xllpt8O4YRFn2dG_Uk43qI2/s400/angry+face.PNG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Actually... all of Frost's facial expressions. They're all gold.</i></td></tr>
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<br />Joseph Sheldahlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07851803148817458591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5553676971915847757.post-73533214206487390042017-01-19T13:56:00.001-08:002017-01-19T22:02:12.874-08:00Dark Angel <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Why on Earth this movie is called<i> Dark Angel</i> is beyond me. Its more appropriate, yet still terrible original title is "I Come in Peace". A combo of crappy titles and lame box art probably kept this early 90's gem from finding a larger audience but make no mistake, this is a heck of a fun ride. If you like cop flicks, crime thrillers, aliens, and shootouts, you'll dig <i>Dark Angel</i>, It's an action/mystery/buddy cop movie about a loose cannon and a by-the-book (I'll let you guess which one star Dolph Lundgren is) who start to realize their simple drug war case, may not be so simple after all.<br />
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And yes, I totally said aliens. <i>Dark Angel</i> is like <i>The Terminator</i> smashed together with Lethal Weapon, but instead of cyborg killers, you've got alien killers. The 'why' is really cool though and is probably <i>Dark Angel</i>'s most effective secret weapon. It seems at first glance like a really stupid movie (in a good way), and it is- right up until it's not so brainless after all. It's still not high class cinema, but the concepts in the movie are really interesting. I'd love to go into detail here, but I don't wanna spoil the very movie I'm currently recommending.<br />
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Regardless, it's an 80's sci-fi/action movie at heart, but it stands a bit apart from the usual grouping. The story is both absurd and smart at once, but only because it takes what could've been a stupid premise and turns it into a surprisingly effective one. Pardon my beating around the bush, but finding out what exactly it is will be a big part of the fun. Aside from the story, there's plenty of straightforward wit, one-liners, and explosive action scenes to keep the film chugging along. Still, every so often, the movie reaches beyond the base trappings of an 80's shoot-em-up flick, and grabs on to loftier ambitions.<br />
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Dolph Lundgren is fitting in the lead as Detective Caine, a hard luck cop with a reputation for doing things his own way. Unfortunately, this causes a mess of things for him, and lands him with a new and uptight FBI partner who is excessively 'by the book'. Brian Benben plays the FBI special agent Arwood 'Larry' Smith, and he does it well. He's annoying, but kind of endearing in his own way. He's the definition of a character who grows on you. Him and Lundgren have a almost-unique but reliable buddy comedy dynamic. It's not quite Schwarzenegger and Belushi in<i> Red Heat</i>, but it works well enough. You end up caring about both of them, which is cool.<br />
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The acting is uniformly serviceable, with the only occasionally weak link being Lundgren himself. He's really good at times, but stale at others- which is a shame because Benben is on point throughout. Nevertheless, stellar acting wasn't something I expected from <i>Dark Angel</i>. I just expected a lot of shootouts, explosions, car chases, and alien daring-do. I got all of that and then some. <i>Dark Angel</i> pulses with energy and creativity, pulling out the stops on the set pieces and the practical effects with neat little alien gadgets. The movie is unique and exciting while thankfully never trying to overdo it. <i>Dark Angel </i>gets a full recommendation from me.Joseph Sheldahlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07851803148817458591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5553676971915847757.post-4331572132834937122017-01-15T09:41:00.000-08:002017-01-31T10:31:39.642-08:00Train to Busan<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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If you like your zombie movies with a massive helping of melodrama,<i> Train to Busan</i> is right for you. What is baffling is also how easily this could've been a surefire popcorn movie- if only it had taken itself a little less seriously. Punctuated with some stunning action set pieces,<i> Train to Busan</i> has all the ingredients to be a genre game changer, but it's too focused on its own human element. For once, it's actually the excessive character development that drags this movie down. It seems almost afraid to just go nuts with its own concept in a futile effort to stay grounded. Even though its a mixed bag for me, there's no denying that <i>Train to Busan</i> is thrilling and exceptionally well crafted.<br />
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The zombie virus in this movie is biased. It changes people into zombies in mere seconds, unless that person is a main character. Then the whole ordeal is protracted beyond all reason, and the movie's credibility starts to slip. But for the most part the zombie concept as portrayed in this movie, however inconsistent, mostly does away with the tired old trope that one of the heroes is bitten but doesn't tell anyone until it's too late. Thank god. No, the movie is more focused on it's explosive set pieces on the train which rival the intensity of any other zombie movie I've ever seen.<br />
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See, these zombies are some fast and limber-ass zombies. They move with unnatural speed and strength, and while that might displease Romero-purists, I found it rather creative. Especially given the confined setting of most of the movie. I take my hat off to the writers and director for staging such inventive and creative set pieces. To a movie buff who frequently he thinks he's seen all that genre cinema has to offer, finding little treats like this are a delight. I love being surprised and shocked, and <i>Train to Busan</i> delivered with gusto on both fronts.<br />
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It's a real shame then that so much of the movie is absorbed by dour melodrama. I mean, for fuck's sake, there's a sequence in the movie where three guys fight through entire train cars of these super zombies- a bona-fide popcorn scene, but the same movie gets really sappy and preachy throughout. There were two movies crammed into <i>Train to Busan</i>, a moody and dour drama that just happened to have zombies in it, and a non-stop thrill ride with amazing set pieces. We only needed one, and frankly we only needed the latter.<br />
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The father-daughter set up is easy and by default doesn't require a whole lot of exploration or explanation. The screw-up dad loves his daughter and the calamity at the core of the movie gives him a chance to prove it to her, over and over. I can't even begin to count the number of movies that use this or a similar parental dynamic to <i>skip over</i> all the exposition required to explain a bond between two unrelated people. <i>Train to Busan</i> is absolutely dedicated to its straight-faced melodrama though, and it gets rather tedious. However it is the ending that kinda seals the movie's fate for me as a true mixed bag. I didn't like the way the movie ended, and I thought it tried to be emotionally moving when it was simply annoying.<br />
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Yet if you can stomach the repetitive and manipulative melodrama there's plenty of gore and excellent action set pieces to be had.Joseph Sheldahlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07851803148817458591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5553676971915847757.post-29340249549549877582017-01-14T13:43:00.001-08:002017-01-14T13:43:19.540-08:00Phantasm V: Ravager<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Maybe it's because I read all the negative reviews beforehand, which lowered my expectations, but I really enjoyed <i>Phantasm: Ravager</i>. It's quality is on par with literally all the others, don't let the fact it's a newer movie fool you, it's still a direly low budget shlockfest. And fans need to get real. Low budget today is not the same as low budget 20 years ago. A minuscule budget nowadays means lots of computer generated elements. In fact, I was surprised as how slick some of the effects looked, and how many practical effects there ended up being. In fact, this flick was a blast.<br />
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Sure, hardly any of it makes any sense whatsoever, but it's also so gleefully over the top and absurd that it brought back the feeling of <i>II </i>and <i>III </i>for me. Mostly gone is the dour seriousness of <i>IV</i>, and that's a good thing. The plot revolves around Reggie slipping in and out of realities, and in one of them, he's been told he has dementia and that everything about the Tall Man was all a figment of his imagination. In other reality, he's been wandering looking for Reggie, and finds himself cornered at a country estate by the sentinel spheres. In yet <i>another </i>reality, he finds himself in a post-apocalyptic modern-day, ravaged by the Tall Man and his armies of sentinel spheres.<br />
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It's easy to get annoyed by the shifting and especially so when you're 100% certain you know which one is real, and it shifts yet again. There's flashbacks, stories, dreams, and visions- and the viewer is rarely sure about what's going on when, where, or why. But from scene to scene,<i> Phantasm Ravager </i>chugs along on its low budget earnestness, giving Reggie a bag full of guns and plenty of opportunity to use them. The visuals in the movie range from pathetic to surprisingly good, but at least the atmosphere is consistent. <i>Ravager</i>'s better moments overwhelm its weaker elements- at least for me they did.<br />
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The story is absolute nonsense, but it makes fun use of some ideas that've been floating around the franchise forever, and actually addresses a few things I didn't think it would. I was pleasantly surprised by some moments in the movie where the scope opened up and we got to see some truly crazy shit. Sure, <i>Phantasm Ravager</i> isn't exactly a good movie, but I'd also argue that none of them really are. They're odd, weird, surreal, and fun- but 'good' is tricky. Enjoyable? Absolutely. <i>Ravager </i>embodies the best qualities of the franchise, even if it's story isn't always the best vehicle for those qualities.<br />
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Angus Scrimm hasn't lost a step as the Tall Man and he gets a speech in this one that is totally spine-chilling. Reggie is still Reggie, and Mike gets more to do in this one than just brood constantly. Bottom line, this movie is exactly what I wanted it to be- mostly. As with most <i>Phantasm </i>movies, the final half hour is packed with all the good stuff, and afterwards I turned the movie off satisfied completely. As far as modern day sequels to old horror movies go, you could do a lot worst than this earnest and ridiculous little movie. For my money's worth, it was a better <i>Phantasm </i>movie than Tremors 5 was a Tremors movie. A decent swan song for both the late and great Angus Scrimm and the franchise itself- but I do seriously hope they find a way to keep going. <i>Especially </i>with that self-indulgent cliffhanger tease.Joseph Sheldahlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07851803148817458591noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5553676971915847757.post-34854673294604255122017-01-14T11:36:00.001-08:002017-01-14T11:36:53.813-08:00Phantasm IV: Oblivion<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I've realize that at this point, the <i>Phantasm </i>movies have moved beyond the horror genre. This is just sci-fi absurdism. <i>Phantasm IV</i> is the abstract apogee of a franchise known for being weird, nonsensical and confusingly dream-like. <strike>It's not a bad movie</strike>... It's a pretty bad movie all things considered, but it's familiar and marginally enjoyable all the same. I know a lot of fans appreciated this one more than the previous, and while I know why, I don't really understand it.<br />
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At some point in these movies (somewhere in <i>III</i>) we discovered that Mike has a sentinel sphere in his head and he bleeds yellow like the Tall Man and his minions. At some point, we also discovered that the Tall Man has been 'taking' entire towns. We also found out (also in <i>III</i>) that the sentinel spheres are powered by the brains of the people he turns into minions- who he leaves brainless as he shrinks them down to size. There's thousands of spheres to boot, so he's clearly been doing this for a while. But, these movies immediately lose sight of the 'why'.<br />
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Why (and how) is Mike no longer human? What did we miss? What didn't we get to see? If you think <i>IV </i>has answers to anything, you'll be pretty disappointed. The <i>Phantasm</i> movies never answer questions, they only redirect and throw more abstract twists out there with the distant promise that maybe we'll get to figure it all out in the next one. Remember the girl from <i>II</i>? Did we ever find out why or how Mike and her were magically psychic? Nope. She DIED and we never heard about her ever again. That's par for course with literally everything in these movies, and that's kinda sad to me.<br />
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I always felt the original concept of an inter-dimensional being harvesting the dead from our world to reanimate as a slave labor force in his was fascinating and brimming with potential, but with each subsequent movie in the franchise, it becomes more and more apparent that creator Don Coscarelli is fresh out of ideas and has no intentions of fulfilling that potential. The red world disappears from the plot in <i>III </i>and <i>IV</i>, and the portals become convenient plot devices that let characters travel when/wherever the flying fuck they please.<br />
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There's a scene in IV where Mike decides to go on goddamn walkabout (for reasons that are never clearly explained) and finds him in the desert. Then those portal poles start popping up. Why? I don't fucking know. I'm not sure anyone even making the movie knew. Oh and the Tall Man has been after Mike for two (or three, depending-) movies now and we have no clue why. He's said he has plans for Mike, but what? We don't know. Mike shows in this one that he has the kind of telekinetic powers that the Tall Man has, but doesn't use them when it would end up actually oh, I dunno, BE USEFUL? Like escaping from the Tall Man? Yeah, that's the perfect time to not use your newfound powers.<br />
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The acting in these movies was never better than borderline, and it's kind of endearingly bad here. I didn't even know that was possible. But, here's the thing, all of these complaints are completely moot because these movies are fundamentally abstract. They buck the trend of sequels that explain things. Each <i>Phantasm </i>sequel is an anti-sequel. It reminds me of a friend I had in elementary school. Had big dreams of making horror movies when he grew up, and his inspiration was the <i>Evil Dead trilogy</i>- specifically <i>Army of Darkness</i>. In 5th grade, he wrote a series of stories about an evil child overlord named Jeffrey that was bitten by a squirrel, died, and came back to live as an omnipotent tyrant.<br />
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Each story made less sense than the last, and that was the whole point. He knew it, our classmates knew it, and it was hilarious. It was a running gag. It was a post-apocalyptic, horror, comedy, sci-fi, action, romance epic saga, and absolutely all of it was completely absurd. I feel like that is the <i>Phantasm </i>franchise in a nutshell, and <i>IV </i>falls right in line with one glaring exception. It's too damn serious. Too droll. Too dry. These movies were becoming more and more absurd with each one, and that is precisely how it should've been. The franchise's trajectory demands nothing less, and sadly- despite some cool moments, and fun gadgets, <i>Phantasm IV</i> is a clear misstep.Joseph Sheldahlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07851803148817458591noreply@blogger.com0