The Avengers

  Fans have been waiting for this ever since Samuel L. Jackson popped up at the end of Iron Man as the eponymous Nick Fury. A match made in comic book heaven. Teasing the prospect of an Avengers outing since 2008, it was soon clear that they were laying foundation with these movies. And despite your opinions on any of them, unless you outright hate them, The Avengers is an ideal blockbuster popcorn flick that’s sure to have enough wit, humor, drama and action to satisfy even a non-fan. Though, one reviewer on IMDb gives me pause. He said about Iron Man: "-every frame is dripping with contempt for its audience" Obviously if you're in this specific minority, and you’re of a like mind about The Incredible Hulk, Thor, and Captain America: The First Avenger, then please… don’t bog down the internet with your negative reviews.

  This movie is made for the fans. It’s built around the concept that seeing these famous heroes on screen, fighting side by side, is the coolest thing ever. And I’m not gonna lie… it’s a serious contender. But someone with absolutely NO interest in the superhero genre of films may find this a simple and loud excursion into long action scenes and one liners galore. But enough about who’s not going to enjoy it. Time to let everyone know; as if they didn’t already… this movie is AWESOME. Pure awesome.

  From Mark Ruffalo as Bruce Banner and the Hulk, who does a great job in making the character his own, to Jeremy Renner as Hawkeye (who actually had a brief cameo in Thor), these newcomers feel right at home in this big sprawling superhero adventure. At times you may find… a character slightly underused. But it’s not that big of a gripe. I’m still reeling over the fact they managed to get them all on the same set without the sheer awesome factor of it all imploding the entire production.

  First things first. I was worried it may turn out to be more akin to an Iron Man 3 with Tony Stark hogging more spotlight than that ill conceived movie poster. Or that possibly, these people would have no chemistry with each other. (Though the numerous trailers and TV spots went a long way towards allaying that concern.) And finally, I was worried that Captain America may just steal the movie out from everyone and saving the damn day himself. To put it simply, this movie could have easily been shoved onto the shoulders of any one of these guys. And that would have been horrible. This is THE team effort. The one movie, years in the making, that brings them all together to showcase each of them, and then showcase them as a team. One team. The Avengers.

  Joss Whedon, the director, pulls this off rather flawlessly. Not once does the movie become lopsided. Each hero, each star, gets a spectacular moment to shine. It’s wonderfully structured and pretty awesome to see each character handled so impeccably well. And when it comes time for them to meet, interact, and work together, my other worry was put to rest as well. Their chemistry is amazing. This is a team effort with everyone bringing their ‘A’ game. I had to pinch myself a ways through: “I’m actually seeing this.” It’s precisely the action packed, superhero spectacle I hoped it would be. It is quite arguably one of the best superhero movies. Ever. Not to mention a milestone of filmmaking period. Name one other genre where you can have heroes from five different standalone film series, meet and team up all under one film and have it be as big and stunning as this?

  While you might actually be thinking about that for a second, don’t bother. It was rhetoric. The Avengers is a special movie in that field, none have endeavored to do something like this and pulled it off too. It’s also a very fun ride, because at the core it simply sets out to entertain. And that it does. No doubt I’ll be seeing it again. I’ll probably post another review of it. A fresh perspective sans hype and fanboy adoration. The movie is simple, but incredibly effective. Familiar scenes and lines leap off the screen at the fans, some subtle nods to source material… others not so much.

   Anyways, in the end its ALL cool. Having trouble gathering my thoughts, but before I wrap this up, I’ll make special note of the fantastic climax. It has immense scope and scale and all the intricate action set pieces within it are choreographed wonderfully and shot meticulously. In the midst of chaos, we see the team come together and function as a unit. They fight back to back, follow the Captain’s orders and kick serious ass. The imagery alone is enough to make and self respecting fanboy geek the heck out right there. Not to mention the fantastic score by Alan Silvestri.

 
  See it. You know you’re going to anyways.

The Cabin in the Woods

  The trailers did so little to actually get me interested in this movie. But its not their fault. Had they shown me the stuff that would've made me run the fuck outside and buy a ticket right then and there... it would've spoiled some of the best stuff about the movie. Which leaves every review in a predicament. We can't tell you all the reasons why this movie is great. We have to talk about it, without really talking about it.  Its a love letter to classic (as in 80's) horror movies.  It pays tribute to just about every horror movie ever. And it manages to slide all this under a story that takes typical done-to-death horror tropes, and turns the entire concept on its ear. Fundamentally so.

  I think, you have to be a fan of the horror movies that this movie pays tribute to in order to enjoy it as much as me and my fellow nerds did.  I hate to say that. But some movies pander directly to a specific demographic.  It would seem cool and creative to everyone else, but this is made FOR the nerd crowd. We can point out stuff and say "oh look! thats a reference to *insert 80's horror movie here*! Isn't that brilliant?" whereas the crowd around me in the theater just scratched their heads.  I don't wanna say the movie is without merit for people who aren't steeped in movie knowledge, but its a sweeter experience for those who are.  Theres a really cool cameo at the end; the people in the theater who gasped, grinned, and went wide-eyed, they got it. The people who didn't... they already didn't like the movie.

  The movie is a wild, scary, creative and fun ride on its own merit.  Even those who can't point out every little thing will recognize the broad strokes and how this one brings something incredibly fresh and inventive to the table. The acting is superb and everyone fits nicely into their respective roles.  I did manage to unfortunately miss the first 8 minutes, and as a result my perception of the pacing might be off a bit. But I've been filled in, in detail, by a fellow movie geek.  I don't think it'd actually sway my opinion. But the movie's pacing was insanely fast. Just... breakneck pacing. And I think it might've been a bit too fast? But no thanks to google's incorrect showtime listing, I walked in 8 minutes late, thinking I should've been early. As a result, my whole perception was thrown off. "How late am I? How off was google?"  The movie kicked off so fast and so intensely, I felt as if I was watching the climax. "How can this be happening so soon?"

  One look at my watch let me know, I had actually already been sitting there for thirty minutes. It felt like five. My whole sense of time was fucked with.  However the movie itself began to set me straight,  once I saw where they were going with this wild new take on things... I realized it was FAR from over. In fact, the best was yet to come. And oh my god, I was totally unprepared. Totally.  I've not seen this much pure "awesome" crammed into the last 20 minutes of anything in a long time. I would argue my own point with the awesomeness from The Raid, but that doesn't count. This is a totally different genre. But these two movies are must-sees that warrant a theatrical viewing. I'm seriously considering seeing both again in theaters. However, The Avengers assembles next friday. My wallet is going to be in sheer pain by the time the summer is over.

  Overall, Cabin in the Woods is a breath of fresh air that feels slightly experimental, but also a rip roaring fun time for genre fans. Theres even a decent dose of humor in there as all proper horror movies should have.
I can't wait for the Blu Ray. Theres parts, specifically the last 10-15 minutes, I'd love to go over with a fine tooth comb on a hi-def TV. The climax of this movie, the last 20 minute stretch was worth the price of admission alone. It was amazing. And evoked many a grin from the audience members in-the-know. I can't praise this movie enough. It does have its flaws, and the way it ends may make or break the whole movie for you, but it takes a true cold cynic not to appreciate everything that came before. Such good, creative, and scary fun. I loved it. Alot. I totally recommend it.

Beyond the Black Rainbow

  First off, let me say that I didn't actually catch about... 80% or so of the plot, because I couldn’t hear most of the dialog. The why-fors and what-nots as to why I couldn’t hear it, is largely irrelevant because unless you’re watching a DVD screener rip of this in the middle of the night in a place with lots of light sleepers and thin walls, you shouldn’t have the same problem. Anyways, from what I gathered, it’s about a young woman named Elena, who’s being experimented on in a quasi-futuristic commune called The Arboria Institute and her subsequent journey, trying to escape it. It’s… quite the trip.

  The acting is great all around. The villainous Doctor Barry Nyle (I’m assuming he’s a doctor of sorts. They weren’t entirely clear on that. Or maybe I just didn’t catch it) has quite the presence here. His performance brings to mind some early David Warner stuff. Only with the brooding dial cranked up a notch. When Warner spoke, it gave you chills. When this guy speaks, it’s not as powerful, so the lines have to be written in a certain way. I think they pulled off his character wonderfully though.  He’s creepy as all hell and a real on screen presence.

  Secondly is the actress who played Elena. She is really only required to display two or three emotions, but that’s not a weakness in the script. Her character is trapped and rather hopeless, so there’s a lot of despair. But you also can see she has telepathic powers, so there’s a big underlying strength that’s there too. And there’s more you know, but the actress really does pull it off very convincingly and with hardly ANY dialog. Maybe ONE line? The entire film? Again, this isn’t an issue. It just sells her character that much more.

  I’ve browsed through online forums and boards that discuss the plot and story in great detail, and I’m not sure I’ve actually missed much. The movie is spread thin, and although it’s bursting with plot, there’s very little discernible story. Everything is open to interpretation like a really rich dream. Its takes you weird places and shows you fantastic sights, there’s a story to it… but it’s almost impenetrable. Like if you look hard enough, it all falls apart. I’m not saying ‘Rainbow’s story is weak. I’m saying it’s aloof from conventional storytelling. It literally feels like a dream. Not a nightmare, but a really strange dream with drug trippish visuals.

  I suppose that’s its selling point. Its visuals. There is a lot to see and take in. In this movie, you’re shown some insane looking stuff, some cool looking stuff, and then stuff that’s on the fringe edge of sci-fi concepts and designs. From that standpoint? I absolutely LOVED this movie. It’s a trippy visual feast for the eyes, and its dream fodder for the imagination. The imagery in this movie will stick with you for a long time. The music as well, it has a very 80’s electro synth vibe to it. It fits so well with the future-retro style and tone that it’s nigh impossible not to completely love it as well. It compliments the visuals and imagery insanely well. They’re inseparable.

  And I suppose in the end, the drastic shifts in tone, the glacial pacing, the retro-ish tone, the outstandingly weird visuals, and the sparse dialog is what cements the dreamlike feeling. If you’re looking for something vague and creepy, this is where it’s at. It’s a colorful and expertly constructed art-house exercise in… pure weird. If you can’t love it for that, you won’t even like it. At first, I was largely on the fence. But once I embraced the dream-like perspective my whole opinion just… shifted. I’m a fan. Can’t find much else to say about it, but I seriously can’t wait to see it again.

The Raid: Redemption

  Theres a point in this movie very early on, the first real confrontation between our protagonists and the bad guys, where I found myself recalling a scene from another movie. My favorite movie in point of fact: Aliens. Theres a scene in Aliens where the colonial marines get into their first horrific skirmish with the iconic monsters who all but 'tear them a new one'. Up until that point, all the guns and hardware really made them look tough as hell and ready for WWIII. But you quickly realize these poor guys are up to their knees in shit. They're so far in over their heads, that we're bound to sit through one hell of a relentless, unforgiving, balls-to-the-wall, roller coaster ride.  You get that same kind of tip-off in The Raid.  Buckle up.

  First of all, believe the hype.  This movie is wall to wall violence. The kind of in-your-face action that genre fans have been desperately craving for a long time.  Its everything movies like The Expendables promised, and failed, to deliver.  Simply one "Holy shit!" moment after the other.  Indonesian star and star of The Raid, Iko Uwais really steals the spotlight off guys like Tony Jaa (Ong Bak) in one fell swoop. Some action stars can burn through years of movies and an entire filmography and not get a hit this awesome.  It brings to mind the climax of 2008's Rambo. Except, it takes the intensity and impact of that glorious 15 minutes and multiplies it into an hour and a half of brutal carnage.

  Theres another moment when you realize that the movie is also kind of manipulative.  The hero is the hero because he can't be bought out. He's not a corrupt cop. And he has a pregnant wife at home. And he prays. So he must be a spiritual man. My point is, its like telling apart chess pieces. These must be good because white is pure, and black symbolizes darkness.  But in reality, these attributes of his don't make him a compelling character. You're supposed to care if he lives or dies. After all... he has a pregnant wife at home. Thats obviously excuse enough to care.  But its still an excuse. Not a reason. Theres no time to develop him fully as a multidimensional character. Its sad the movie can't be bothered to really flesh him out, yes, but in a flick like this... its hardly a necessity.

  In that same moment you realize the movie is essentially a video game on autopilot. Headshot. Ten points. Action figures with big loud guns and swords shooting and chopping each other up until we can see what's inside.  Blood and guts of course. And lots of it.  The video game jab would've been an insult several years ago, but now, with games like Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 and its successors reaching cinematic heights of raw entertainment, its a total compliment.  Like a video game, you can skip the plot heavy cinematics and cut to the chase. Which of course is the action. Shootouts and knife fights, and outside of the Call of Duty comparison, martial arts.  Apparently a specific kind of indonesian martial arts called Pencak Silat. Whatever it is, its impressive as hell and brutal all the same. Please sir, I'd like some more.

  Though that can hardly be said after sitting through The Raid.  If anything you'll be in action movie detox after its over. Its an expertly balanced excercise in well coreographed overkill and chaos.  Its a bloodbath of epic proportions. Every bit of effort that went into it, from the amazing score by Mike Shinoda (of Linkin Park and Fort Minor fame) to the camera work itself, is all focused on intensifying the action on display and contributing to the preceedings in a very impressive way.  The usual shaky cam plague that haunts modern action movies is significantly toned down. Used here in careful moderation to simply accentuate a fight, not send a 9.5 earthquake into your face.  So in short,  The Raid plays like a huge climax to a massive action movie. Its bare bones plot and lack of character development are hardly drawbacks, but you really do wonder what it would be like if you actually cared about these characters. If we had some time to see them develop outside of gun fights and such. 

  Of course it'd be an even better movie.  But there is no reason why you can't enjoy The Raid for what it is: pure action. I loved it. I really enjoyed myself. With the theater room almost all to myself, there was little to stop me from saying "Woah!", "holy shit", and "Fucking hell!".  Not to mention, I was able to put my feet up without anyone bitching about it.  It was a great time and a great movie. I'd see it over and over. Maybe even in theaters over and over.  But with upcoming films like The Avengers, MIB 3, Prometheus, The Amazing Spider-Man and others, I may just have to wait for the blu ray. Rest assured, its one to see. Though, in case I haven't stressed it enough with the comparison to Rambo, this movie is NOT messing around.  It IS a bloodbath. And if that sounds like an hour and a half of heaven on a stick to you...
without hesitation, go. Go now.

Brick

  Watching Brick was an experience. The proceedings are simply enough described, but theres so much more under the hood than you might assume.  "A loner navigates the dense social network of his high school to uncover a crime ring and solve his ex girlfriend's murder."  Simple enough. Right?  But what the back of the case can't possibly tell you is how much this feels like a big, noir, 30's detective mystery.  Once you think of it like that, the parallels nearly jump off the screen at you. Its wonderful.

  Joseph Gordon Levitt is undeniably a very good actor. But I had only been familiar with him in supporting roles. For some reason, movies like Brick, Hesher, and 500 Days of Summer keep falling through the cracks of my "To See" list.  However, last night I was bored and in need of a decent murder mystery. Without hesitation, a couple friends of mine recommended Brick.  Familiar enough with the title, and the actor, I thought: "Why the hell not?"  I'm so glad I didn't hesitate or get distracted by something else. This movie was deserving of my undivided attention.

  Visually the movie is stunning. It creates a foreign atmosphere using often overlooked sides of familiar places. What movie hangs around behind coffee shops and in the back of big school buildings? Parking lots, gutters, ditches and sewers? Theses are all places we take for granted. But to have settings placed almost behind the main lines of what we normally see... is rather unique. And refreshing to be honest. It all has a grimy feel to it. These are the places that harbor the goings-about of shady individuals up to no good. The look of the places often match the individuals that populate it.  For a movie thats so high-school centric, we hardly ever see the typical adolescent bullshit that goes on in teen drama movies. The teens here operate in their own world, they plot, navigate, and survive in ruthless social circles. Someone is always keeping tabs on someone else.

  Coming to my ultimate point, it doesn't feel like you're watching a bunch of teens.  This is where I started to connect the dots with the noir-ish P.I. tropes.  Brendan, (Joseph Gordon Levitt) is obviously the private eye who gets the call from a dame who's deep in trouble. She's in deep with the wrong people and needs help getting out.  The private eye tries to help but before he knows it, she turns up dead and the case just turned into a revenge thing.  Its a classic story, but instead of dirty trenchcoats and cold city nights huddled under a streetlight, or lounge singers in nightclubs, we have the settings and characters provided to us by this world the teens inhabit.  There is in fact a femme fatale, a red herring, a drug lord, his muscle bound goon, the hero's usful informant/sidekick and of course the slowly unraveled backstory of our protagonist and his girl.

  Ontop of this brilliance, we have fantastic camera work. It shows off the preceedings in a very fresh and undeniably unique way. Its awesome. Every other scene has a clever camera maneuver or editing trick to keep it visiually interesting and endlessly stylish.  It never descends into gimmicry. Its just subtle touchs here and there, and occassionally an artistic flair. In short, Brick is a fantastic movie to simply look at.  Its all the better that it has a great and engaging story, and a protagonist as timeless as the classic tropes upon which the movie builds on.  And if this sounds too "art film-y" for the rest of you, fear not. Brick is at its core a fast paced murder mystery with a fair amount of intense parts.  Like one of my favorite movies, Drive, it contains the action to necessity, not excess. There are a few fight scenes, and they are well edited, but it works off of character. Which I personally think makes them entirely more entertaining.

  As is the case with the whole movie. It actually has a breakneck pace. Stop paying attention for a few minutes and you're going to miss important details. Its raw entertainment with very few drawbacks. Its doesn't ever fumble the ball or have a crap 3rd act, or have poor acting, or any of the usual stuff.  Its that... when you break it down, the characters are merely archetypes, and the things they're going through is an outline. Its flaw is in its design. But because the design is something so awesome to experience and take in, theres no possible justification for calling it on the carpet for it. 

  In conclusion, Brick is a fascinating movie thats thoroughly engaging and wholly entertaining. Its a murder mystery and a crime thriller of the finest degree. It gets major points for originality and uniqueness. In my humble opinion, Brick is a must see.

TITANS WILL WRATH! (2 in 1 review)

  I actually really liked Louis Leterrier’s Clash of the Titans. It was a remake of the 1980 ‘epic’ of the same name. Going back to the original, I find its only eye candy. It’s a plodding, poorly acted mess. Not saying this one is any better, but the eye candy is far better and the action scenes have scope and feel really intense. I’m pretty sure this butchers all kinds of mythology, but I don’t really care. It’s just a silly action movie. As a critic, I’m pretty sure I should be calling it out at every turn and pointing out that accepting movies like these just allow studios to get away with mass producing endless crap. But I’ll let this one slide. Those scorpions were really freaking cool. And now they’ve made a sequel…

  In Clash’ Sam Worthington was a muscle-y demigod with a buzz cut. Which in and of itself made little sense. But okay. I put that aside. The role called for very little acting chops. This was… alright. The original may have had a good cast but so many of their performances were just horrible. So in conclusion, the remake trumped the original in the only area that mattered; even back then: Special effects and eye candy. It has a grand scope and top shelf CGI. It’s kind of a symbol of the issues with modern action movies.

A- Its a remake of a property that could’ve been left well enough alone.

B- Every fight scene is a slick and polished mess with camerawork rarely accommodating the decent choreography.

  There are moments in Clash that simply work really well and pay off all the spectacle and action, and these scenes are really good. Though as a whole the movie fails to elevate itself to any respectable measure. It seems not just content to be a mindless summer action movie... it revels in it.  It all the abundance of CGI, the rapid-fire action editing, the grunge-y punk music in the trailers that sneaks its way into fight scenes, and all of it.  But... I love it.  The movie has no right to be this fun and yet fall face down into every pitfall imaginable.  In fact, it doesn't just fall.... it dives.

  The supporting cast is great obviously. And even a few of the lesser known actors get entertaining roles that are fun to watch. Especially the hunters, and Mads Mikkelsen as that cool guy who's name I can't remember right now. So yeah. Suffice to say, that despite all its glaring shortcomings it manages to be a serviceable piece of fun eye candy. Its the base of my expectations for this new one. And that's really what I'm here to review, but so much of it was overlapping so without further ado...

--

  Now, its 2012 and they’ve released Wrath of the Titans. Thus making way for more insanely simple minded taglines: “FEEL THE WRATH” As if “TITANS WILL CLASH” wasn’t bad enough. But oh well. Who’s to judge a movie by its tagline? Suffice it to say since all the first one way was simple eye candy, I wasn’t about to expect any iota more from this new one. Which was a smart move. Wrath moves so very very fast we don’t really have time to connect with the characters (I’ll not reinforce this point to heavily since I missed the first five minutes). We’re given a painfully simple setup and CGI with scope that eclipses the last one within seconds. If all you want out of this one is monsters and CGI, you’ll be happy.

   Like a kid in a candy store. There are all kinds of new re-imagined creatures for our oft blank protagonist to fight and defeat this time around. Though you wonder, at a certain point in the movie, if that’s not bad acting at all and Perseus may simply be used to giant hellish monsters. What else could explain his extraordinarily bland performance here? Sorry folks, I like Sam. Liked him in Avatar, in Terminator Salvation and Clash of the Titans. But if you thought he was flat there… he falls exceptionally flat here.

  Except… in the humor. That’s right. This movie excels with the humor. Due in no small part to the entire cast (sans Rosamund Pike) has a “screw it, let’s just have fun” attitude. The result is a cast who looks like they’re having fun. Like a bunch of kids playing with toy swords in their buddy’s backyard. They smile, they run around, they stab things, they jump and roar at each other. Good times yeah?

  But yes, the humor. There are actual scripted funny moments, and a comic relief character who’s not facepalmingly bad and actually quite fun to watch. His personality alone steals the scene on multiple occasions. And he seems to have good chemistry working off of Sam’s frequent blankness.

  The movie has great effects, but there’s no build up to it. Fantastic sights and breathtaking locale aren’t given proper attention. We’re rushed there, shoved around, and yanked right back out. The movie sacrifices a feeling of grandiose for a relentless pace. The result is a mixed bag. I’d like to see panoramic shots of the underworld. Maybe a close-up of the soldiers’ faces and the calm before the storm as their impending doom bursts out of a mountain to smite them with waves of lava. The effects themselves are flawless, but their effect leaves much to be desired. In a world full of danger and monsters, it feels rather hollow. However, there are some scenes where Sam actually does pull through a strongly convincing emotion, and there are some scenes where everything just works. It just does. Which is amazing.

  And the movie itself, more often than not, is just flat out fun. There’s no time for character development or anything like that. Monsters. We need more monsters. These would be complaints at any other movie, but Wrath has a certain charm to it. It has the precise depth of a Saturday morning cartoon (and that’s being generous too) but it succeeds with raw spectacle. Even though it may be rushing through the motions, the fights are well set up and well choreographed, the monsters are cool to look at, the CGI is awesome, and there’s a smattering of well placed humor.

It’s a popcorn flick. The kind one could easily despise. But… as for me? It was just as easy to have a great time with it. Through all the nitpicks and complaints, Wrath of Titans is seriously just a lot of fun. Dumb fun, sure. But still. Fun.

xXx

  Director Rob Cohen's xXx is a total Vin Diesel vehicle. And while it has its moments, it should work better than it does. I'm pretty sure that xXx was a direct response to the James Bond franchise. Only, instead of doing a simple James Bond retread, the idea was to find a muscle-bound icon of current 'cool' to headline the secret agent role. Replace the suave Englishman and his well tailored suits; instead we have pimp coats and hard rock/hip hop music in place of such 007 trappings. Cool nicknames must be catchy, short, and easy to fit into a repeat gimmick. Bond had 007. Xander Cage (Diesel) has XXX. Oh my! It’s even tattooed on the back of his neck. That’s so cool.

  So much of this movie seems self obsessed with how 'cool' its protagonist is. The whole premise is that undercover cops are too text book and they need an undercover man who's hip to whole current scene. So? Solution? Force a well known criminal to do your dirty work for you. It’s such a self serving premise. Like the movies where the plot makes an excuse for the cute dog to play basketball or for monkey's to team up with secret agents. It’s ludicrous. Those are extreme examples, and xXx's plot isn't that horrible. It just is a simple excuse to take a street thug and make him a secret agent. The excuse is the plot, and the plot is an excuse. There are also quite a few excuses to have Xander on a BMX motorcycle, snowboard, or hanging from a parachute every five minutes. Oh that’s right, I forgot to mention, he’s not just any street thug… he happens to be a vastly popular extreme sports personality. Way to go Vin!

  I will be fair and point out that the movie itself is not entirely without merit. Vin Diesel does what he can with the character and surprisingly he works best in the humorous moments. That’s not to say that he doesn’t pull off ‘badass’ quite well, but to say he nails the entire role 100% would be far too generous. That’s the same with the movie overall, it doesn’t quite get it right. Not all the way. Its definitely the stuff popcorn films are made of. Sexy women, international spies, large explosions, cool looking cars and gadgets galore. But something is simply off. The story feels downright cartoonish at times, and some of the action scenes look corny. If it had focused more on being its own beast, and not a James Bond homage, it might’ve been better.

  Samuel L. Jackson is in here. And he sleepwalks through his role as Diesel’s recruiter; playing a character we’ve seen from him dozens of time. Although it’s nothing new, it’s actually quite a fun character to watch. Jackson brings him to life, providing a decent counterbalance for Diesel’s rampant recklessness. Xander cage is told to infiltrate a Russian gang, bent on destroying the world with chemical weapons. To accomplish this task, he’s given unlimited access to field resources. So many guns and gadgets he’d have James Bond and Ethan Hunt jealous as all can be. Speaking of Ethan Hunt, M:I:II tried to be a James Bond homage. It wound up feeling like a rip off. If there’s any great compliment I can level at xXx, is that it succeeds in being an homage.

  The movie itself is as self indulgent as its own protagonist. It finds every reason possible to jump off cliffs, show loud clubbing party scenes full of scantily clad women, blow up cars, get into chases, and shoot things. This isn’t such a bad thing. But it feels forced sometimes. The movie has dated rather poorly too. It languishes in the styles and music of the late late 90’s and early 00’s. Some of it is facepalmingly bad. And surprisingly, some of it works. Getting down to the bottom line here, xXx is consistently fun; sure, however it does have plenty of missteps in it. When it’s good, its great fun, when it’s bad, it just feels awkward. Vin Diesel does a lot to keep it in the “guilty pleasure” section and out of “total waste”. His charisma is always fun to watch and he’s an ideal action figure to gallivant around looking cool while blowing things up. That’s xXx in a nutshell.

The Chronicles of Riddick

 Vin Diesel has certainly cut out a name for himself in action movies. But one of his best was undoubtedly Pitch Black. An early 00's sci-horror flick in vein of Alien. Who could've predicted that the sequel would be a massive big budget sci-fi epic in vein of Dune and/or Star Wars. But with a leading man like Riddick, it’s obviously going to be darker and more violent than either of those.
Insert Vin Diesel's trademark smirk here: Obviously.

  The Chronicles of Riddick is massive in scope and vastly different in tone from its predecessor. Pitch Black inhabited a gritty futuristic world like you might see in Firefly and Blade Runner. However our look into this world was narrowed to a mere glimpse. We see a ship, its crew, and small insight into the kind of environment it operates in. This is all flipped drastically in The Chronicles of Riddick. The world we're put into is still the same gritty future, but its inhabited by villains who wouldn't be out of place in a sweeping medieval epic. Instead of scary looking black horses on which to ride into a scene and slash away at the innocent villagers, they have scary looking spacecraft, impeccably designed to evoke a gothic and futuristically regal look. Its an odd balance of tone.
 
   We expect characters like Riddick to be up against bounty hunters, law enforcement, and mercenaries. The vicious aliens in the first one fit the plot so well that it’s hardly relevant to the point I'm making here.  Seeing Riddick end up being the reluctant hero tasked with avenging his race and saving the universe from a whole legion of space-faring bad guys is stunning, overwhelmingly different, but not at all unwelcome. He went from a mere badass to mankind's savior over the course of a movie. And given the character, and how Vin Diesel inhabits him so well the movies may feel a world apart, but they’re linked very nicely.

   There still are mercs, and prison planets, and all the tropes a sequel to Pitch Black should have, but those are tiny plot points. The scope of the narrative has exploded and multiplied exponentially. We’re no longer confined to the sci-horror/survival nature of the first movie. This is a movie where the fate of all mankind hangs in the balance. And Riddick is the prophesied savior. And that’s the point I’m making. There are elemental beings, and prophecies, a villain who is half dead and has been to the gates of hell apparently, and its very fantasy oriented. Sci-fi fantasy, granted, but the world from Pitch Black didn’t seem like home to these characters and their mythical prophecies. It was a gritty world. Devoid of such things.

Was the shift in tone a bad one? No. It expands the universe that Riddick inhabits in a big way. Some may not care for the tone of this one, and it’s understandable. It really is like if the sequel to Alien had Ripley joining a cause to save the universe and fight Darth Vader and blow up the death star. That’s how drastic it feels. But doesn’t that sound awesome? That is indeed the case with Riddick. Dropping him into a situation like this creates for massive spectacle and intense eye candy. Because we’ve dropped those confines, we’ve got a character-faithful space adventure with insanely high stakes that speeds from one big action packed set piece to the next.

Visually it’s incredibly unique. You’ll be hard pressed to find another movie like it. The closest I can even think of, is David Lynch’s Dune. Spacecraft and weapons aren’t the typical rocket powered, and pew pew stuff from Star Wars. Stuff looks fundamentally unique and incredibly different here. If for that reason alone, see it. It’s a refreshing bit of eye candy that doesn’t feel like a run of the mill sci-fi actioner. It’s a big budget space faring epic at its Hollywood finest. Vin Diesel and cast all bring their A game and deliver some very good performances.

   The story is a little heavy on things it never takes the time to adequately explain, but it seems well written, and the dialog isn’t bad. All the acting is very good. Its overall very well put together. And it certainly shows. This never once feels second rate. Its first class action and adventure all the way. And with a character as badass and iconic as Riddick who’s simply a whole lot of fun to watch, this movie is pure entertainment.

  It does however; help to see both movies to get the full weight of the character development and what these guys have been through. But given the grand scale of this one, Pitch Black would feel merely like a prologue. And from that perspective, The Chronicles of Riddick hardly wraps up the book. It’s merely chapter one. We still have many questions, many loose plot lines, and a huge cliffhanger.  It doesn't feel like we got a crap ending. It feels like this was simply made to extend over a few more movies. And it helps that we actually would like to see more.

I’m enthralled. It genuinely has me. I’m ready to start reading the next chapter. Hurry the hell up Diesel, Twohy, I’m ready for it. And I have a feeling, so are a lot of other people.

P.S. A third Riddick film is already filming and slated for a 2013 release.

Mortal Kombat

 

  It’s a definite product of the nineties, and it has the director's trademark stamped all over it. So how about the source material? The ever popular Mortal Kombat video game? The thumb-numbing brawler with supernatural opponents and a disturbing predilection for blood and gore? Yeah well, the movie leaves out the game’s #1 trademark. Its blood and gore. The over the top-ness and edginess that garnered so much controversy and attention for the iconic game, is woefully (or thankfully for you weak-stomached viewers) absent from this 90’s beat em’ up flick.  I actually love this movie though. I don’t think anyone will disagree it’s a first class movie in a sub-genre renowned for being universally horrible.
And while that doesn’t say much for the movie itself in all honesty, it still manages to be a fun ride after all this time.

  You know those movies that are so bad they’re good? Yeah, Mortal Kombat isn’t one of those movies.  Its humor isn’t the unintentionally bad dialog, in fact quite the opposite. Some of these jokes, however immature, (not slapstick, thankfully the movie doesn’t stoop that low) are carefully set up and paid off in a snappy fashion. Some are hit and miss, and some still make me smile. Linden Ashby, as Johnny Cage, is not a muscle bound movie star like Jean Claude Van Damme (kudos if you get the connection) but he does a good job of inhabiting his character, kicking his way through the choreographed fights and carrying the heft of the movie’s lighter side on his back; shouldering nearly all of the comic relief and one liners. Pretty much every funny moment in the movie is related to Cage somehow. And most of them work really well. He’s certainly one half of the major charisma in this flick and definitely worth mentioning first.

  The cast has decent chemistry, but nothing insanely strong.  The characters are all pretty much archetypes, but they’re based off two-dimensional video game avatars with miniscule bios (at the time).  The movie does a respectable job at building personalities for these people, and giving them distinct motivation.  Now, this is pretty standard stuff for any halfway decent movie, but video games movies, like I pointed out are usually flat out awful; making embarrassing and painful to watch pitfalls out of even basic stuff.  So it’s surprising to see Mortal Kombat, a movie which forsook its own source material’s winning trademark, nail all the basics, and pretty competently too.

   It’s really sad that the female lead here is relegated to such an unimportant role, and ends up being a mere damsel in distress by the end. However, she gets her moment to shine, even if it is a fight that’s own choreography is horribly outdated.  The star hero, Liu Kang, is competently acted, nothing great, but he gets the job done. His strong emotions may be convincing, but as a character he’s a walking cliché until he ends up developing a dynamic with his costars. Most famous of which is Christopher Lambert. If you don’t know who that is, and you consider yourself a film buff, this movie will hold no star appeal for you at all. So don’t go looking for a-listers here. Lambert plays the thunder god Raiden, the would-be typical Ben Kenobi role if it wasn’t for his winning smile, trademark laugh, and the fact that he’s just having fun with this role. And it shows. He’s a real pleasure to watch in this movie.

  “A handful of people on a leaky boat are going to save the world?” a character asks the thunder god early on.
   “Exactly.” He replies. And chuckles.  The movie is so preposterous, yet it asks a self-aware question like that, poking fun at its own plausibility. It’s a scene that sets the tone for you. When it’s serious, its dead serious, but it’s also a lighthearted martial arts romp through supernatural realms with otherworldly opponents and lots of special effects. Its silly and it knows it. Hell, it outright acknowledged it.

  But silly or not, the sets are great, the one liners have decent shelf life, and it has a kicking soundtrack. The villains (especially Shang Tsung played by Cary Hiroyuki Tagawa) chew scenery like bubble gum, and it’s fun to watch their over the top performances as they brood back and forth in colorful lairs and intricately designed dining halls. All these places that are simply destined to be reduced to rubble by wire-fu and plenty of eye candy super powers.  The fights are synced to snappy bass-heavy techno beats, and it works. It enhances the pacing of the fights, making them seem more intense.

  It stays true to the imaginative tone of the games, keeping character designs and entire locations as faithful and relevant as plausibly possible, the result is a fantasy adventure which certainly has scope but at times lacks the hard edge a movie based on these games should have. But visually and tonally its incredibly faithful. And it really pays off more often than not.  Catchprases, cameos, and sly nods towards the more knowing audience members are peppered throughout and the fans really appreciate this stuff. Myself included.

  You can also tell which actors are actors and which are actual martial artists though. In that respect they balance almost each match up perfectly. To compensate for the actors’ lack of martial arts knowledge, their opponent is a super powered fighter with enough special effects spectacle to make up for occasionally sub-par choreography.
But when a martial artist is fighting a martial artist, most specifically the final showdown, it just seems that much more intense. Which in an odd way, actually adds to the climax of the movie.  ‘Saving the best for last’ as it were. It’s certainly something to really look forward to at the end of each viewing. 

  In conclusion, if you know what you’re getting into, Mortal Kombat can be thoroughly enjoyable and even warrant repeat viewings. Its a simple competant action film with an old fashioned, Harryhausen-esque epic sensibility that enhances the fun factor of the atmospheric proceedings. Its a flick that may not always hit the right marks, but its always fun, and has great, stunning production design, and lots of special effects laden fighting to watch. Even if its all a tad outdated.  Flawless victory on account of a perfect adaptation? Maybe not, but that doesn't mean its a particularly bad one either. I, for one, love Mortal Kombat.

Fast & Furious

  Justin Lin's second go round as director behind the wheel of a Fast & Furious movie, can definately be looked upon as the turning point for the series from neon hyped, juvenille, street racing, into respectable and quite servicable action movies. Even though to date its only succeeded by one other installment, the awesome Fast Five, we definately have a strong idea as to where the franchise is headed, and it looks like we're in for lots of excitement on the road ahead.

  The very first F&F movie is not that great when you look back on it. I seem to bring this up every time I review one of these movies, but its an unavoidable point of fact. But it is a great jumping off point for characters that we've come to like and enjoy seeing in action on screen.  By this point, regardless of how subpar the first one was, its great to see Paul Walker and Vin Diesel in a movie that shows they do have chemistry.  In this one, its fun to see them work together. Its a bumpy ride at first since their last meeting ended less than stellar obviously, but this is a great set-up for Fast Five.  Vin Diesel himself describes O'Connor and Toretto's dynamic by the time of Fast Five as being akin to "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid".  I couldn't agree more. This movie, shows you how it got there. And its certainly quite the ride.

  After a nearly-botched heist in the Dominican Republic draws police attention to Dom and his crew, they split up and go their separate ways. But some time later, he's drawn out of hiding to avenge the death of a loved one at the hands of a drug lord's henchman. On the flip side, FBI agent Brian O'Connor is tasked with capturing the same drug lord. Its a foregone conclusion these two are going to be reluctantly paired up to fight the badguys. And the movie even makes the whole car aspect fit. The drug lord needs good drivers to haul drug shipments, how better to recruit than holding a fancy street race? The rest should be pretty obvious by now. From a semi-simplistic story, I gave away nothing significant. The back of the DVD case probably spoils more.

  Not too surprisingly, this one handles character development (when theres even time for it) alot better than the other movies do.  Short of Fast Five of course. Which for me is the hands-down best F&F movie out of all of them. But if I had to choose a second place winner, its no big thing to say this one is right up there.
All the big stunts are impressive and a few are quite impressive and outright "WOAH" inducing, but somewhere along the line it gets a little muddy, and as a whole feels less impressive. I can't put my finger on it. However, its a fun movie with lots of stylish cars, plenty of sex appeal, and wall to wall action only exceeded by that of its successor: Fast Five
Not a bad way to spend a couple hours on a lazy friday night.

S.W.A.T.

   Even though this movie can be considered a bit 'old' now, its not one of those movies that just dates horribly a few years after its out. And in a time when theaters are full of over-hollywoodized obnoxious action movie dreck, you should stay home, rent S.W.A.T and have a different thrill ride altogether.

  Its not an in-your-face action movie. Theres a time and place for that. But its not here. Not now. Its kind of like... the anti-Die Hard. Its grounded. Its focused. Centered. And driven more by character than action. Not saying that Die Hard isn't a great movie in its own, but its fantasy next to S.W.A.T. The best moments in this movie come from character development and some really great dialog. Not shootouts or car chases. Those are in here, but this isn't Bad Boys. Things that happen here tend to try and adhere to 'what it would really be like'.

And we know not all cops get in shootouts every two seconds with slow motion, so what would it really be like? Boring you say? No, thats where the movie makes its smartest move. Placing greater importance on people and character rather than explosions and a body count.
   So few 'action' movies are willing to do that nowadays. There is a moment a while into the movie, even Roger Ebert pointed out: "The characters had dialogue and occupied a real plot, which involved their motivations and personalities."
Exactly. Theres a point when you realize that these characters aren't just action figures with big toy guns, they're well written characters inhabiting a real enough world. Just letting in enough fantasy to keep the action fans happy. It never rapes the line of realism though. John Woo movies do that. And like I said, theres a time and place for it. But real shootouts don't look like well coreographed bloody ballets. They're very short, very brutal, noisy and confusing.
S.W.A.T. may not be out to pin down the realist side of shootouts, but Samuel L. Jackson's character points out in a great scene: "They only roll in John Woo movies, not in real life."

   And thats the beauty of S.W.A.T. (aside from the always beautiful Michelle Rodiguez that is) its a well thought out, well paced, and clever movie, in a time when films like Bad Boys 2 and Live Free or Die Hard set out to assault and overwhelm your senses. To leave you plastered you to your seat with your eyes wide and gasping for breath when the end credits finally roll. And again, I'm not saying that I don't always enjoy those kinds of movies... but S.W.A.T. ends with feeling like you've been on this journey, seen something acomplished, and you can ride out that last minute with a grin on your face. The characters have established a great and snappy dynamic, reinforced with great dialog and a classic theme as they ride off 'into the sunset' ready to 'answer the call'. Its a great ending to a damn fine and thoroughly competant police thriller.

   It may not be an overall great movie per se, and certainly has its own shortcomings, but its a very very entertaining flick. Two hours of solid entertainment with decent characters, good acting all around from a great cast with the likes of Colin Farrell, Samuel L Jackson, Michelle Rodriguez, LL Cool J, and Jeremy Renner. All that and good writing and dialog? A common and frequent pitfall of the modern actioner? How can I not reccommend this?

The Perfect Host

  This film has been on my "to-see" list for quite some time. The trailer interested me, the synopsis was... interesting, and the cast was... well... interesting. But to say any one thing just said 'MUST SEE', no. That didn't happen. Instead it took a long and frustrating day that wound down into a mess of being bored and irritated for me to just flick this on, on impulse. Wow. Nothing could have prepared me for this movie.
 
   I'll get the synopsis and stuff out of the way before I start spoiling things for the people who don't like to be surprised, only intrigued instead. The movie starts with a man on the run, we presume he's a criminal. Before long, our suspicious are put to rest. His face is on the news as a bank robber, of course we know now that this is the bad guy. His foot is bleeding and he's on the run from the law. He's going door to door trying to lie his way in to use a phone, and possibly scam out a place to stay for the night. It seems pretty simple enough yeah?

Anyway, he finally finds one guy's house, gleans a bit of helpful information from raiding his mailbox and cons his way inside. Its some of the most tense and suspenseful scenes I've seen in a movie in a long time. Moreso if you've read the back of the DVD case. You know that this bank robber... just went from the frying pan and into the fire. He's clearly invaded the wrong house.

   But not in the typical sense, its not some guy fighting back to protect himself, its entirely different. Theres a line where the man in the house tells the bank robber, who's pretending to know his friend 'Julia', "-you'll be captivated!". I couldn't help but think to myself, 'captive' is more like it. I wasn't too far off. But if you think thats telling too much, then you're in for one hell of a ride. I could not predict this movie.

   If for no other reason to see it, see it for its unpredictability. Which is due in no small part to a hauntingly brilliant performance by David Hyde Pierce. He breaths a sick life into his character and injects the film with a healthy dose of dark in-your-face humor. Its not funny. But you can't help but laugh at the absurdity of what you're seeing sometimes. Mind you, its all intentional. Now if you don't want the ins and outs of this clever and amazingly written thriller spoiled for you, just stop reading, take my word on how good it is, and go see it. Find it. Seek it out. Its worth it.

   If you're still reading, then you're ready for any and all twists to be spoiled from here on out. No bitching about it. Although, even you people who'd like it all handed to them won't get it from me. Just fair warning for the anti-spoiler freaks. The movie does backflips around everything you think you know about these characters.
 
  When it starts you know this bank robber is the bad guy. How can he not be? He's threatening, cunning, deceptive, and very dangerous. And clearly we know he robbed a bank. Thats where this movie reveals its subtle brilliance, in how it reverses our perceptions of the characters. The good samaritan who lets this hurt and bleeding man into his home, is actually satan. Nevermind about this bank robber and the stuff he's done, for which he even has a sympathetic reason for, this "good samaritan" is a true psychopath. The likes of which is rare to see so wonderfully captured on film. Its creepy. Its funny. Its downright horrifying. And then the movie will throw you another twist.

   For each one, each twist, I was terribly unprepared. I cannot reccomend this movie enough to people who can appreciate 'A Clockwork Orange', 'Se7en' and the like. Its just brilliant. See it.

John Carter

  John Carter is a big loud adventure movie with old fashioned heroics and a straightforward plot. And theres nothing wrong with that.  Its simplicity overall may leave some viewers wanting, and its vagueness to certain details may leave other viewers confused, but despite all this odd and underperforming storytelling I don't think anyone would argue that John Carter isn't very exciting.

  With a largely unknown actor headlining the movie in the title role, it feels like a bit of a risky gamble in an age where actors are cast for popularity before they're cast for actually being right for said role. (See: The Green Hornet) This is a gamble that Disney made before, to moderate success nonetheless, with Tron Legacy. However, the advertising and tone of the marketing scheme for 'Carter brings to mind a failed Disney attempt to jumpstart a new franchise in Prince of Persia.  But not all their attempts at franchising failed. They turned some heads with the Pirates of the Carribean franchise, and despite people's personal opinions on the movies, the steady flow of PG-13's meant Disney wasn't taming this property down for kids. I was mostly optimistic John Carter was in good hands with Disney, however, looking back at the similarly marketed Prince of Persia gave me pause...

  Fear not, the dull action heavy promo scheme does little to capture the good old fashioned adventurous feeling in the movie.  It evokes an early Star Wars feel, with a simple good versus evil sensibility. There's your hero, your damsel in distress, and the bad guys.  Its a tried and true formula. We've seen this type of stuff before, but I never get tired of seeing it. What feels fresh is the look and execution of the movie. Its easy to see why it took so long to get this made properly.  Amazing special effects are manditory here. Theres a whole alien race that are practically nine feet tall, have four arms, long necks and tusks on their face. That would be hell to make convincing with subpar CGI and even worse with prosthetics and animtronics. Thank god it has been made in the right era. The post-Avatar era.

  The movie is never short of eye candy spectacle, from the sweeping desert-like Martian landscape to the gleaming glassy cities of Helium and Zodanga, their airships and locale, all of it is simply wonderous to behold.  Through the action scenes and the quieter moments, its all very colorful and interesting to look at. Visually, this movie is great. Plenty to take in.  The action scenes are of the higest swashbuckling caliber and at times they're fully enhanced by some clever tricks and alot of CGI. Good CGI mind you. It works for the real elements on the screen instead of replacing them.

  The actors do wonderfully in their roles and although you may not see anyone reconizable headlining this thing, there are plenty of familiar and famous actors peppered throughout supporting roles. It raises the standard I think, and it shows. There are real emotions on display here. You can see it. There isn't any 'weak link' that stood out to me. I was pleasantly surprised all around.
  And overall John Carter is a fun, classically minded ride thats full to the brim of high-flying action, genuine humor, and plenty of charm to make up for its narrative shortcomings. I fully recommend this movie. Its an ideal summer flick. Hopefully the blu ray will hit right smack in the middle of a summer heat wave, it'd be the one to buy.

The Adventures of Tintin: The Secret of the Unicorn

  For those who got excited about this movie because Steven Spielberg is directing...
You will not be disappointed. At all. This is a shining return to top form. Not since Raiders of the Lost Ark has an adventure movie been this much fun.
  For those who got excited about this movie, because they're familiar with the comic strips by Herge, won't be disappointed either. Not in the least. The story unfolds like a 'best of' amalgam of several of Tintin's greatest adventures.  I've read enough to know that all the characters get their due diligence and are brought to life with lots of respect and gusto.

  We need more kinds of these movies. Its action packed and clever enough that the adults trade knowing stares and smiles over the kids sitting between them, and the same kids will get quite the kick out of the humor and high-flying adventure. Its an all around ideal movie.  It brings to mind the Indiana Jones movies, and even ones like The Rocketeer.  The evolving dynamic between the two main characters is priceless and endlessly entertaining to watch. As is the entire movie.

  Its also rare to see a 'sidekick' like Tintin's dog Snowy, done justice.  Most are relegated to menial comic relief, not deserving of any respect. However, Snowy is a vibrant character here that steals the scene on more than a few occasions.  He does a good job as a sidekick too. Tintin is always finding himself in trouble, and his faithful dog is always helping him out.  For those familiar with the character, you know theres still a third party to be seen here that'll round out a very fun dynamic. Captain Haddock. Played by Andy Serkis in another iconic performance, he's the third part of the classic dynamic here.

  I think the story might've been better served by a live action treatment, despite the fact that several of the best scenes in the movie wouldn't have been remotely possible, or at least- plausible, in live action. But, there's a mild disconnect. The computer generated characters are some of the best I've ever seen, but It's still computer effects on display. It's just off enough to be distracting when you least expect it. It brings them to life, but not all the way.

  I won't delve into the story much, or give anything else away but its a really really fun ride that brings to mind classic adventure and high flying fun of the best caliber possible.  I stress that its faithful to its origins and manages to breath life into Tintin in a way even I wasn't expecting. I highly recommend Tintin to people of all ages, its not just a kids movie. Its for anyone looking for some good old fashioned fun and heroics. Not bad at all.  I'd see it again, and again. Its a Spielberg classic for this generation. A return to top form and a flashy one at that.

Machine Gun Preacher

  Like Lean on Me, Machine Gun Preacher has good things to say.  It has a good cast to say it.  Its something people would listen to.  But just like Lean on Me... alot of the message gets lost in the process.

  Unlike Lean on Me, which could've been fixed up easily with a few extra scenes, Machine Gun Preacher suffers from shoddy editing and haphazard directing. The movie can keep your attention and tug on the heart strings, but its put together so poorly that you'd think it'd be better off as a sunday sermon from a passionate preacher behind a pulpit.  Because the movie is preaching to you. Its speaking volumes.  Its a tale of redemption, salvation, perseverance and ultimately going the distance and doing good deeds.

  All the actors bring their A game here. Bringing their characters to life with gusto. You feel passion and heartbreak, pride and joy, from them its all believable.
But the movie constructed around these characters is pieced together really badly.  There are powerful emotional scenes that highlight the film throughout that are so damn good, you find yourself wondering how they pull that off, yet drop the ball completely with the simple stuff.

  Characters appear in scenes, apparently doing important stuff, stuff we feel we should know about. Yet we ultimately have no friggin clue whats happening until the scene is practically over. But no, don't worry, you didn't miss something. Thats just how awkward this movie can get.  Characters have revelations out of the blue, undergo fundamental personality changes, and do things with no apparent cause, and all this with very little and often no explanation at all.  When thats simply not bad enough, the editing makes it worse, cutting scenes prematurely, intercutting random stuff and overall doing a great job of confusing the hell out of me.

  All this is truly a shame because this movie could have been a must-see emotional powerhouse. As it is... its a mess. A mess with amazing potential and some truly moving moments of raw emotion and intensity. You have to weigh the pros and cons yourself.
I don't regret seeing it, but I'd have to think HARD before seeing it again.

The Grey

  The Grey really isn't for people looking for a simple action/survival movie.  It will almost certainly leave those people with a knot in their stomach.  The movie instead is a much more introspective, emotional handle on the same thing.  At times its incredibly visceral and intense, and at other times its quiet and poetic. If you're not ready for a strong emotional ride that will drag you through the trenches, then don't bother. Because odds are you won't be able to appreciate this amazing movie.

  As you probably gathered from the trailers, a bunch of guys survive a plane crash and must brave artic weather and a pack of vicious monster-like wolves in order to survive.  Theres a scene very early in the movie that sets the entire tone and defines Neeson's character, John Ottway.  I won't spoil it, but its very sad yet strangely calm.  You don't see many scenes like this in movies.  It was a very stunning scene and very unique as well.  I knew right away where this movie was going and that I was going to love it.

  The atmosphere of the movie is very matter-of-factly. Its not styled like a big budget action movie with survival elements, despite being marketed that way. The only think setting it apart from entering that almost documentary shot style is the handheld camera and such. It doesn't feel like we're looking at actors on a movie set, these men genuinely look tired, scared, and on edge.  After so many movies that have tried to do the same thing, I'd become desensitized to feeling the impact. Almost all of them have predictable endings. You can tell by halfway in whether its going to be...
A: Everyone survives - Happy go lucky ending
B: Everyone dies - Horribly pessimistic, yet probably most realistic
or
C: The two handsome lead actors survive but for some reason end up fighting each other in the end. 
  Its predictable... and boring.  Some may consider this a spoiler alert, but I knew vaguely the same thing before I saw it and if anything I adjusted my expectation of the movie accordingly. Which was the best thing that could've happened since I was expecting a big action vehicle.
The ending is practically ambiguous. Its about the push forward, the will to survive, 'the last good fight' as it were. Not about the rescue helicopter swooping in at the perfect moment and saving the day. Do -not- expect that. Its not going to happen.

  This movie is an experience. Its not casual viewing. Not for me at least, its emotionally gripping.  Something to think about after the end credits role. Its thought provoking for sure. Maybe not on a surface intellectual level, but on a deeper emotional level. Maybe I'm just reading into it, and maybe I'm not. But this, for me, is the foremost ideal life, death, and survival movie of the last decade.  And I seem to stumble across most.  The acting is completely convincing, I was immediately drawn in, and totally hooked. The score excellently compliments the acting and the story, infiltrating scenes subtly and augmenting the actors' great performances, heightening the emotions on display.

  The Grey deserves a watch. Its incredibly well made. For those who are interested, and the ending is resolute enough for you, stay after the credits. But I could've easily done without that because the ending is amazingly powerful in its own right. Great flick.

I Am Legend

  I've seen I Am Legend a few times. Each time hoping I'd like it more than the previous time. However the nhilistic ending, that made little to no sense when put in perspective with the rest of the story, just... made me hate it so much.  Fortunately, I've now had a chance to see the alternate cut, with a different ending.

  Theres alot to look at in this movie. A post apocalyptic New York City grabs your attention right away.  Its visually intriguing in a big way. Its scope is unrivaled. Zoo animals have broken free and roam the streets, prowling around like its their native territory.  In an opening sequence, Dr.Robert Neville (Will Smith) goes hunting for deer. In a sports car. With an assault rifle.  On the untamed streets of NYC. Its strange to see this. But at the same time its fascinating in its matter-of-fact nature.  Its the odd aspects of the day-to-day post apocalyptic life that appeal to me in I Am Legend.

  I actually could care less about the vampires, er... 'Hemocytes' as this 'scientifically correct' tale will tell you, are whats left over of a miracle cancer cure that had unexpected side effects. Obviously.  But its still too self-conscious to call them vampires or zombies. They do seem like a vicious hybrid of both though.  They're also clearly computer generated. And while its definately effective and properly creepy, there is still a disconnect. I know I'm looking at CGI. 

  And rather than using CG to augment a actual person on set standing there in full makeup, from what I can tell these creatures are 100% computer generated.  Its interesting to look at, but... I still have issues with that aspect.  This is completely overshadowed by Will Smith's amazing performance here. Say what you will about the movie, but his acting here was impeccable.  There are strong, powerful scenes, that really call for some deeply convincing emotion, and Smith pulls it off in spades.  Its hard to not feel moved in these scenes.

  Also, the action scenes are incredibly intense. They're staged well, executed well, and are chock full of clever camera tricks and bursting with nearly palpable suspense.  I can't praise their technical execution enough. They really are thrilling to watch.  As a whole the movie is a very unique one, and its one definately worth seeing. The rest of this review however will be dedicated to reviewing the alternate ending. 

 But before I delve into that, I will say this for any newcomers, don't bother with the theatrical cut. The alternate or "unrated" cut is the only version I can truly recommend. The movie is flawed enough without the odd and unfit ending of the theatrical cut, which was my biggest complaint about the movie. This cut fixes all that.

  Throughout the movie it was consistently hinted that the hemocytes were actually capable of intelligent thought and emotion. But that subplot was abruptly dropped in the final act of the theatrical cut. However not only does this cut (spoilers?) fix the needlessly nhilistic original ending and leaves on a much different tone. The well developed hemocyte subplot is now fully realized and comes to a satisfying close, however this does sacrifice the plot-line of Neville's cure. But despite that, this ending is my preferred resolution to the movie. It feels much better and well thought out. And is preferably optimistic.

  Some may say the upbeat ending diminishes the tone and impact of the movie, but I beg to differ.  An ending which needlessly propels the core protagonist into martyrdom and manages to leave you cold and unsatisfied is the ending which does the real diminishing. 

  Only the alternate cut is worth my time now.  Its way more cohesive and nicely optimistic.

And in such a bleak situation would a little optimism really hurt?

I Saw the Devil

  Very few movies can go this far, get this raw, and not end up labeled torture porn. What this has in spades beyond any movie that's set up simply for the gore, is emotion.  The writing and the excellent acting compliment each other very well. We can relate to and connect to the main character right away. He feels like a real character. Its set up incredibly well.  The story is strong yet simple, and it packs one hell of an emotional gut punch.

  When a secret agent's fiancee is brutally murdered, he drops everything to hunt down the serial killer, and in the process blurs the lines between good and evil.  Its a very simple set up, but its effective like you'd never believe.  Once the movie hits its stride, it raises some very thought-provoking questions that'll stick in your head long after the credits roll.  Its a very intense movie, and one thats hard to take your eyes off of. The violence is never cut away from, it relates the pain and brutality perfectly. In a way that not even your typical horror/slasher film can do. 

  I Saw The Devil generates tension and suspense in really clever ways, using a fantastic score and lots of camera tricks to pull this off. And it does. Of course all this would be rather flat if the actors didn't turn in fantastic performances. Each one of them embody their characters with passion. From the tragic protagonist, Kim Soo-hyeon, played by Byung-hun Lee, to the scary and haunting villain Kyung-chul played by Min-sik Choi, every member of the cast is perfect and their acting is outstanding.

  The movie is however, NOT for anyone with a weak stomach. There is heavy violence towards women, young women, even young enough to be considered children. There's an attempted rape and many brutally graphic scenes of bloody violence. Nothing is sugar coated and nothing is kept from sight. This doesn't ever come off as gratuitous. It gives the movie a strong edge, by not playing around with its audience. You could say its an honest movie. Brutally honest. Its a standard format revenge flick, but its made with brilliant skill. Its a gorgeous looking movie as well, making every scene interesting to look at. I wouldn't say it goes out of its way to force style down your throat, but theres never a dull looking scene.

  Its a chilling movie, that will mess with your perception of right and wrong, and will put the protagonist into very dark places.  I recommend you see this movie if you can handle it, and only when you're emotionally stable. The movie is an emotional roller coaster as it is. It will drag you through a range of emotions, from deep sadness, to the brink of tears, and then to accute and unbridled anger. Its an incredibly potent and extremely well made movie. But clearly not for everyone.

Immortals

  If the trailers hadn't grabbed your attention, than you most likely won't find much cause elsewhere to see it.  The trailers showcase the action scenes and the visuals. Which is pretty much all this movie has to offer.  So if you're looking for anything else, you'll be sorely disappointed.

 On a very obvious front, Immortals sets out to deliver on a specific front: action.  In-your-face, brutal, gory, action. It goes far enough to one-up 300 and any other contender.  If you're in this for a greco-roman gorefest of epic proportions, then you'll be pretty happy.  But the Immortals fails on many fronts.
The story is gibberish. Its so backwards and sideways, pretty soon you just start to not care. All you end up needing to know is this guy is bad, this guy is good, and one is gonna die. Despite lots of backstory and plentiful setup, we're still scratching our heads far too often. It gets to be pretentious and practically headache inducing.

  However, the film is visually stunning. Not a single frame isn't dripping with visual flair and style.  Its definately a feast of eye candy.  And like I've said, if you're a gore hound who digs the brutally realistic and over the top battles that you'd expect from an R rated epic the trailers have made this out to be, then you will definately not feel gyped on that front. However, I feel like the movie didn't have enough in it overall to warrant a lengthy review.  Like theres not much to even say about it. Let alone find good things to say. Its hollow and plodding. It falls like a big heavy rock into a shallow pond.  Don't get me wrong, it can be entertaining. Its visually thrilling and stylish to a fault, its fast paced, action packed, and has young good looking actors delivering fine performances, basically its a silly popcorn movie.

  But its one that has vast stores of unrealized potential. It could've been a truly classic epic worth discussing for a long time if its story had been stronger, and it had some emotional meat to it. Its not nuanced or layered, its one dimensional and simple as all can be. And while that is perfectly passable sometimes for a silly little action movie like Clash of the Titans, a movie like this has such perfect aspects that are truly worth marveling at but its marred by such painful shortcomings that its hard to reccommend it.  The best thing I can say about it, is that once it hits home video formats, it'll be sure to give your HD equipment quite the intense workout.  Visually and otherwise. Its gorgeous looking.
So given everything I've said, I urge you to decide for yourself.

   Its a hollow piece of dreck that manages to look quite stunning, and can even keep your attention for a couple hours. So flip a coin eh? It all depends on what you're expecting from it.

Dylan Dog: Dead of Night

 
  The only way I even knew that Dylan Dog was a comic book before it was a movie, was an ad on the back cover of an old Star Wars comic I had.  Yep. Thats it folks. Super nerd has never read a Dylan Dog comic. And the best I figured back then, was he fought zombies or something.  Well I can say, if I was a fan, I'd likely be almost offended. First off its a pretty mediocre film. Second I heard it changes alot.  But its not entirely devoid of any redeeming values.

  Its about a private eye who used to be a protector of the supernatural world. Not like another dimension, but vampires who run rave clubs, zombies who work 9 to 5 and go to support groups, and werewolves who own meat packing plants. Yeah. Whole other world right next to ours. Anyway, Dylan and his assistant find their way onto a supernatural case, a werewolf killing, and obviously theres alot more to it than meets the eye. Big apocalyptic deal, end of the world type stuff. However the movie never really lives up to the tall tales it tells

  I haven't too much else to say about it. I summed it up quite well when I posted the following on a forum I frequent:

  "A harmless actioner which is capable of only just keeping your attention.
It has a handful of clever moments and cool scenes, however you have to wade through a muddied plot, some bland acting, painfully standard action scenes and a smudge of hammy dialog.
Having said that, its fun to watch Sam Huntington. He steals the show, leaving a rather 2-dimensional Brandon Routh in the dust. Routh's performance may leave much to be desired, but he fills the shoes of witty action hero quite nicely. At least asthetically if anything.

Its just a simple flick, better than most SyFy movie-of-the-week garbage.
Keep that in mind when you find yourself about to watch "Mongolian Death Worms".
If your expectations are low enough and you've nothing better to do, you might find yourself mildly entertained. Mildly"

  Yup.

Dead Leaves

  I have precisely 102 movies on my Netflix instant queue. And somehow I still find myself painfully bored not in the mood to watch... anything there. Its a frustrating situation. Fortunately, browsing the endless depths of the handy movie browser that rests conveniently on my PS3's XMB... I found quite the potent cure.  Anyone familiar with anime in general might think they know what to expect here, any one who's seen the random and wild stylings of the animated epic, Heavy Metal, you might think you've seen it all. But they'd all be wrong. Incredibly wrong.

  The box art didn't do much to attract me, neither did the description, but I suppose that was it. It was the short runtime of 52 minutes, and the fact that it didn't really jump out at me. I was in the mood for something not-boring. Something new. Different. Something wild. And oh boy. I got that in spades.
The story here barely hangs onto the coattails of the action, which literally never lets up, and very literally starts right away.  These two oddballs, Pandy, and Retro wake up on earth, naked, and no clue how they got there. Pandy's hungry, and Retro, who has a TV for a head, is just gawking at her nude body. But the general consensus ends up being to start a massive random crime spree just for the heck of it. But they don't forget to get something to eat first.

  Despite their awesome skills, insane agility and supernatural strength, they eventually do get captured by the police. And they're immeadiately, and I do mean IMMEADIATELY shipped off to a life sentence in prison. The weirdness has only just begun.  I shant spoil it any further, but its definately a weird thrill ride. Its the kind of ADHD, over-sexed, gross-out, immature, nonsensical, insane, and super fucking weird animation byproduct of the youtubing, 4chan'ing, internet generation that exists only 'because'.  Theres a rhyme to it, but no reason. But thats half the fun.  You're just along for the ride with these two crazy characters. They have a kind of intimate dynamic despite the fact they're practically total strangers.

  Don't get me wrong. This movie has the depth of a shot glass.  Theres no moral center. Theres no lesson. Theres no message. Its just full out bullets, blood, sex, gore, more bullets, loud music, explosions and such. Its just escalates more and more and more. The style gets exceedingly frentic and eccentric as it goes on. And just when you think the movie has hit its stride, found its groove, settled in, it jumps right back in your face again, and escalates even more. Just to push the envelope.
Its impossible to stay bored while watching this. Its a pure shot of entertaining nonsense right into your brain. If that sounds like something you'd like to experience... seek it out. It'll be worth it.