Spawn

  So Spawn just came out on north American Blu Ray (the Canadian transfer was beyond shit, and not even full HD)

Only $9 bucks. Worth it? Despite seeing the movie as a flawed piece of glossy junk.... I can't help but like it. So yeah. I think its worth it. A shlocky piece of bad 90's nostalgia that can be a little mindlessly enjoyable for only just under 10 dollars? Not bad.

All the special effects, comic relief, PG-13 action, and big sprawling sets one could want from an almost-gothic summer superhero blockbuster. However, does any of that sound like what Spawn should be like? No, unfortunately. Its lackluster in most ways that count, ultimately failing to be a decent live-action vehicle for Todd McFarlane's flagship character. The bad guys aren't really scary so much as they are simply... greedy and power hungry. And I'm sorry, Martin Sheen is horribly out of place here as lead villain, Jason Wynn. Like John Travolta as Howard Saint in The Punisher. So when you have a story that revolves around a super assassin being killed, sent to hell, only to be granted power by the devil himself, and thrust back into the world a year later with a vendetta on his hands... you don't really wanna go 'tame' with it. It begs to be edgy and harsh but... alas.

Its not that gritty, its not that violent, even the R rated cut, is only a slight improvement. I also find Leguizamo's demonic Clown to be a total drag. He's gross and unfunny, not scary or threatening in the least. He waddles around like DeVito in Batman Returns, failing to be a competent villainous counterpoint for our hero in turmoil, and instead comes across as merely annoying. Props to John for pulling off the look, but damn, it was the worst comic relief ever. Not even his leeway with the crude humor churned out anything witty.

Worse yet is the dreadful setup of what should've been something Epic, but instead the movie continually confines its set pieces to small claustrophobic arenas that are indeed big on eye candy and admitted kinda fun to watch, especially when Spawn has the mask ON and isn't busy pulling a Judge Dredd, but they lack the scope and impact of what Spawn SHOULD have. For a big budget, spendy, summer movie adaption, it felt like they didn't have a grip on their own big scale effects, and I know from documentaries that the studio tied their hands content wise, so... how this even got made? I'll never know.

On the upside, Michael Jai White is fun as possible as an ass-kicking hell-hero with a vengeance. He sells his lines no matter how corny, and the spawn suit looks legitimately awesome and badass to me. When he's rocking the guns and crashing through windows with Gothic imagery a-blazing and his massive computer rendered cape a-flowing, the movie is quite fun. It succeeds in matching the fun and stylistic high points of Batman Forever, (with less neon and less facepalm worthy moments) and the same kind of action as you might expect from a 90's PG-13 summer blockbuster. Worth snagging from a bargain bin to watch when you're bored. Not all the humor is bad, some is quite chuckle worth, and the photography is quite stunning at some points...

But, this is an absolute case of missed opportunity and sheer bad timing.
Its worst crime is being able of being described as 'tame'. Nothing about Spawn should EVER be described as tame. That’s a crying shame.

The Amazing Spider-Man (The Game)

  The Amazing Spider-Man: The Game, is a valiant effort by Beenox to return Spidey to his proper high-flying open world gameplay that made a couple of the previous movie tie-ins so much fun. Most especially Spider-Man 2. And while you may find yourself missing a few of the little things from the other games, there’s hardly a bad thing to be said about this go-round at all. With solid game mechanics, great graphics, and fantastic voice acting, the game lives up to its title and succeeds in being ‘amazing’.

  Like any reboot should do, the movie, from the looks of it, is shaking things up quite a bit. And the game does too. Right away, fans of the other movie tie-ins will miss the tutorials narrated by the sardonic yet hilarious Bruce Campbell. Though one can hardly complain, once you do get your hands on Spidey, and feel out those controls you’ll have a hard time not smiling. Not only does his character model look fantastic, he handles incredibly well, and slips into combat with style and ease.

  It’s a return to top form for Spider-Man. No longer is there a button needed to stick to walls, just walk up to them, press for a second and you’re wall crawling. Easy as pie. Next is web swinging. Sure it may look kinda odd now to not see his webs specifically anchoring to buildings as he swings through New York, cause I mean… that was really cool in the other games, but how many times did it simply impede things? Rather than add functionality, it would trap you in frustratingly awkward spots where buildings met, and leave you flopping like a fish on the side of a skyscraper. Instead, they’ve found a happy medium. You can’t clear web your way high across Central Park, you need to be relatively tree-level. So much for swinging from the clouds!

  Also gone is a distinct sprint button which forcibly encourages web locomotion as the only way to fly. Er… swing. And now , ‘rush’. In place of the personally missed sprint button, we have the nifty ‘web rush’ button. Which when pressed and held, slows time to a near halt, brings things into a first-person view through Spidey’s orange-y lenses and highlights points in your surrounds where you can zip to.  Once you target and select a spot, whether it’s a streetlight down the block, or a vantage point in an Oscorp lab to evade being spotted, you’ll find that it’s a lot more than simply zipping. The computer takes over and flings spidey to his destination with style. The sequence is always different granted that you’re in a more complicated looking web rush. He could run along side of a bus, and then flip off of a building to get to his destination, or you could be treated to a completely different acrobatic feat. You never know. Getting from point A to point B, is sometimes just as mundane as that sounds, but pick a neat destination and you’ll get a stylish treat along the way.

  Next is the combat, which is great. It’s brisk and intense, and it makes you look like a pro by simply button mashing. However, that isn’t as easy as you progress. Villains everywhere get a little tougher, and there are more of them too. Not so easy to whale on one guy, while someone’s behind you trying to shank you. No problem, there’s your trusty spidey sense! Right? Right. Only you usually have about half a second to break whatever combo you were building and dodge the dude trying to come at you from behind. This isn’t a flaw with the game, though a bit of slow motion before a surprise attack from behind couldn’t hurt either, but then again there’s already so much of that in the fighting mechanics anyways.

  You have a handy retreat button as well, that when pressed zips you away to a (usually) safe spot, so you can take a few seconds to regain a bit of health. Now, you can also web rush enemies, which leads to all kinds of devastating attacks you can unleashed. That trick combined with quick and frequent application of the retreat button is useful for picking off foes you don’t wanna get too close to. Or crowds as well!

  There’s a decent story here too, and surprisingly great voice acting. I really mean these guys are awesome! Word to the spoiler sensitive, this game gives away A LOT from the movie. Stuff you probably don’t want spoiled. So, if you’re adamant about having a fresh experience with the movie, then, you should shelf the game and only play it after you’ve seen the film. I have a great feeling it’s going to be a fantastic companion piece. I’m sold on the feel of the movie, and now I’m more than satisfied with his new outfit, and even the orange lenses are growing on me. That being said, The Amazing Spider-Man game… pardon me for saying this, still kind of pales in comparison to Spider-Man 2. In which you could deliver pizza’s, find secret hideouts and all kinds of deeply interactive stuff that TASM is simply missing. It has lots of little comic book tokens hidden throughout the city… about 700 of them. And for every so many found, you unlock a full classic Spider-Man comic book from the main menu. This is super cool, but I still think some more in game secrets, a few nooks and crannies…. All that stuff would’ve made this even better. The upgrade menu is far more practical than in Spider-Man 2, but offers far less to unlock. Bummer. Kind of. Rather than unlocking hundreds of new acrobatic moves, you’ll be expanding on core fighting techniques and webbing tricks. Not much you can complain about since all of those tricks come in EXTREMELY handy, but no doubt there’s room for a little more expansion here. Sequels are always right around the corner! I better see you there Beenox!

  They’ve in no way dropped the ball here even despite a fair helping of shortcomings like, the game is on the brink of repetition more often than I’d like, but they smartly mix it up before it gets overbearing at all, if only slightly at times. Some of it is too easy, other parts take far too many do-overs. But it’s all very very fun and enjoyable to play. Most of these gripes come from indoor missions. Which aren’t GREAT but can provide some interesting puzzle solving and stealth techniques too. Even in mundane missions, the thrill of pulling off one successful stealth takedown after the next is addictively fun. Veterans of the Batman games from Rocksteady would appreciate this. Having said all that, the feeling you get from swinging through New York again is simply amazing. It’s a rush and a very intense and thrilling rush at that. The city and swinging through it alone is enough for me to say this game is a must buy. Despite all the nitpicks, this is truly a return to top form for Spidey and one that I’ll be hanging on to for a very long time to come. Unabashedly fun and filled with solid and engaging gameplay mechanics, easily this is the best AND best looking spidey game for the current generation of gaming consoles if you ask me.

Battle Royale

  

With the new Hunger Games movie here, which I know little of, marketers decided it was time to release the other movie with the practically-identical killer concept: Battle Royale. And I can’t vouch for the Hunger Games, but Battle Royale doesn’t PG-13 their movie. Instead they dive into the content headfirst, providing quite the brutal experience; an experience… not to be missed.

  The premise is ludicrous; no modern civilized government would sanction a law that strands a bunch of teenagers on a deserted, military patrolled island, forcing them to brutally MURDER each other in mortal combat until only ONE survives. They could’ve padded this out by maybe showing us some mock news footage of how bad society has gotten and that this was their only solution to keeping the youth in line. But no, just a short debrief loaded with statistics in the beginning and then right to it. But since you most likely already know what the movie is about, you’re totally willing to overlook that massive implausibility and just get right to the game.

  We know very little about this group of teens at the outset beyond the fact they’re your typical group of cliquish school going brats. There are the quiet ones, the loud ones, the jocks, the sluts, the brainiacs, and the fat kid. A lot of these archetypal characters get a lot of exposition and expand into fully fleshed out characters. Others… are trapped by their own cliché. (I.e. Fat kid, Brainiac) This is sad, but also kind of unavoidable. You have around 44 kids in there, most of who are going to die within the first hour. You just know it. That’s not even a spoiler folks. This movie is a bloodbath. And it’s just unavoidable that some of these kids are simply going to just be cannon fodder

  Fortunately, the movie carves out clear-cut protagonists and antagonists. The real key players (with the glaring exception of one) all have rich back-story and well fleshed out motivation. They’re fully developed characters which are a joy to watch. The outstanding young actors bring a next level sense of believability to their roles and it makes the proceedings that much more visceral and frightening. Some of the kids who end up being antagonists are downright scary and unnerving to watch. There are plenty of amazing performances to be seen here. It’s a very scary concept, a very brutal and unflinching movie and it ends up being very cohesive, and dare I even say relentlessly entertaining? Its breakneck pacing and near-gratuitous bloody violence could land this movie in some unfair categories and stick it with undue stigma. But it’s a very thought provoking movie with a lot of emotional backbone.

  It’s rare to find a movie that tries so hard to have a practically laughable concept (albeit scary) portrayed as dead serious, and succeeds. Well this movie succeeds. And it succeeds by focusing more and more on the characters and their struggle as the runtime ticks by, and less on the strange and unnerving social parable which it’s selling. In order to stick more to a social commentary, it would’ve had to lose its favoritism of characters, strip everyone down to un-relatable archetypes and not give us the satisfying ending that it did. That movie wouldn’t work. We’d be dragged through the trenches of a brutal bloodbath, with no emotional anchor, and the already implausible premise being uselessly reinforced and insisted upon, the movie would be an unbearable chore to sit through.

  Thankfully it’s not though. It may lose some of its higher messages by diverting to a slightly more Hollywood-esque third act, but it doesn’t lose our attention. And it already has us invested emotionally. I can’t imagine many people saying that the ending was unfair to the story itself. In fact I feared it would be something horribly nihilistic and grim. Which would make sense given the sheer dread and hopelessness present throughout the movie, but thankfully they rewarded our investment and gave us the ending we wanted. Maybe it undercuts a lot of what the movie was saying, but you’re able to sigh a breath of relief and satisfaction because by the end of the movie you’re way more concerned about the characters than you thought you would be. At least I was. As the movie’s focus shifts from horrific social parable to a character driven fight for survival, your expectations do too. And you don’t even notice. This is a very skillful switch off that could’ve ruined the movie. Instead, it saved it. I love this movie. And I absolutely recommend it.

Street Fighter

  I can't imagine taking any part of this movie seriously. But with a new video game adaption being popped out every couple years now, it was some sort of retrospective mandatory thing to go back and look at one of the ones deemed the worst.

  However bad this may be, I think they're getting worse. Perhaps all you have to do is dangle something noisy and shiny in front of me for a while and I'm entertained. Not to say there’s anything shiny about Street Fighter, more like... plastic. Glossy sugar-cereal plastic. It’s got the noisy part down, but... I pinch myself in disbelief while watching this mess of a movie wondering if they intentionally made it so bad. The humor is forced and there’s far too much of it. In the entire run time of a movie FILLED with unnecessary humor, there may be only two jokes that work. Two jokes that are actually funny. But they're funny in a painfully stupid Dumb and Dumber type way.

  So, you’ve got a movie full of humor that’s not funny, hopefully maybe the story or the action itself can save it from being a total wreck? This is something that I see far too often, people hoping that a movie will magically get better after sitting through a boatload of screen time, seeing nothing but crap. This movie sets the tone FAST. The action is uncoordinated, slow and cheap. The story is so overly complicated in its details; it can’t even be SIMPLE fun. No it complicates the shit out of everything. It’s so convoluted it’s sickening.

  The acting is as bad as the story and its one liners, which are as bad as the action, which is as bad as the humor. So generally, the movie is bad. But somehow, amidst all the crap and everything this movie has something it really shouldn’t. It has charm. It has that B-Movie, bad dialogue, horribly cheesy kind of charm that makes it almost irresistible. And maybe it’s just me, but the overblown sets and the corny action scenes make it seem like they were just trying too hard. But again, its impossible to take ANY of it seriously. The bad guy is the best actor in the movie and he’s in FULL scenery chewing mode and he’s a blast to watch. Everyone else has their moment of overacting which can invoke quite a laugh, but its real charm is in how everything inherently feels like a crappy stage play.

  Comparing this to the newer Street Fighter movie about Chun Li, and I can safely say, this has selling points that one just doesn’t. Despite being a really retarded movie, there’s always something keeping your attention to the bright and colorful hilarity on screen. Which is the best compliment I can level at this movie. The newer one may have better fights, but its drab and boring and I fell asleep during it. I can’t really recommend Street Fighter, even to fans, as it butchers the story as well as the characters, but its one of those movies with dialog so bad you can’t help but burst out laughing. Two hours of that might not always be a bad way to spend a Saturday afternoon.



Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance

  I thought the first Ghost Rider was okay. Fun for the effects and such, but deeply flawed.  Along comes a sequel that nobody wanted or really even expected. Since the first's reception was so lukewarm, why would anyone invest more money in a pretty direct sequel to it? Well the directorial team behind the Crank films must've convinced them they could do something epic with it. Did they succeed? Not with flying colors, but I think they did.

  Nicholas Cage cuts loose as Johnny Blaze in this one. Equal parts afraid of his own power, and also batshit power drunk on it. The result is a manic madman who's in a fight, hardly his own, just to get this 'curse' lifted off of him.  There's a moment when a character asks him something like "Am I going to regret bringing you along?" and he has a few spastic seconds to ponder his answer before saying... "Yes."

These little bits are where the dialog AND Nic Cage gets to shine hand in hand. He can be quite fun to watch here.  Also worth pointing out is Idris Elba as a french... biker... priest. Yeah. His level of badassery is off the charts. He's played with an irresistible charm by Elba, that is... when you can understand him.
The dynamic between him and and Blaze is also really fun to watch.

  In fact, the whole cast has serviceable chemistry. Where their acting falls flat, the script picks up the slack, where the script fails, their acting pulls the weight. When both are faulty, the special effects and the action scenes are so undeniably fun, you couldn't possibly care about what's not working at the moment. However, it is a juggling act. Its rare anything in this movie clicks one hundred percent. Its kind of erratic. Every length of something wrong has a equally good counterpoint though.  This keeps the movie from being boring or flat, but not always from being kinda sucky.  I find it far less sucky than the first one, but its still wrought with issues.  But despite a painfully standard story and a totally non-frightening Devil, Spirit of Vengeance manages to be pretty fun. Its scary badass looking protagonist blazes a trail through the sludge of shortcomings and delivers round after round of high octane, large scale, explosive action. Lots of fancy good looking special effects here. This movie is prime eye candy that's a hell of a supernatural action flick.

  However don't be fooled, this lacks the charm, emotional heft, and overall quality of more recent superhero movies. VERY recent ones even. But the argument could be made... none of those movies have a guy with a flaming skull. And that's why I like this movie. Its quirky and fun. Nothing overly special or even good. But its a fast paced little thrill ride with plenty of flaming destruction to keep your attention for a while. The story is trimmed to the bare essentials, and this isn't really a bad thing. Its to the point. We're here for the action. The motorcycle chases and flaming skulls. We get it too. Lots of it.  Its really fun to watch.  Stylish, kinetic, frenetic, and off the wall. A pretty decent Ghost Rider flick to be had here. Not bad guys. He definitely looks way more badass this time around.

Prometheus

  I guess I felt a little funky about the movie because given it was Ridley Scott's return to the Alien franchise, I expected something bone-chilling and haunting like the original.  Instead I got something profound. Profound in a scary way as only a Scott Alien movie could be like.

  First of all, its not a horror movie like Alien or a fast paced actioner like Aliens, its far more focused on a much larger picture. Which is too broad to be confined to either genre. So instead its purely sci-fi.  Whereas the first movie's bigger picture was the questions behind it. The horror of the unknown. And the second movie's scares were much more in the craft of the way it was paced, structured, and unleashed on us;  Prometheus gets under your skin in a much different manner.  Its the reflection on the questions it raises about mankind's origins.

  Theres a scene in the movie where the android, David, played brilliantly in an amazingly nuanced performance by Michael Fassbender asks one of the scientists on the ship why he wanted to ask his creators why they made them (humans in general). And their exchange is brilliant. David retorts by asking "Why did you make me?"
And the scientist said "Because we could." and even if David hadn't further illustrated the rather obvious point of his retort, it still would've been haunting. Its these moments in which Prometheus excels greatly.
 
  Theres also enough gore and blood and creepy creatures to go around but if you go in expecting to be scared or get an action rush, you'll be dissapointed. And this amazing movie deserves more than that.

First off, on a technical and visual level, its jaw dropping. The planet, the space scenes, the way the camera takes it all in, is brilliant. And beautiful. Its eye popping. The designs of everything from the creatures to the "space jockeys" to the ship itself and the uniforms the crew wear, its all amazingly detailed, carefully constructed, vibrantly and fully realized; its a real treat to see it all.

  Theres also absolutely no doubt about the fact that this IS an Alien prequel. But instead of one that tells the story of characters we already know, or how they got there, this one in a rather vague way, is about how the monster we all know and love to hate, came to be. Its distant origins. Lots of things about the alien in general are answered. And at the same time... we have a whole new set of creepy and haunting questions that will no doubt keep the franchise afloat until someone has another idea on how to continue from here.

  I do have minor gripes about the movie. But this is because I went into it, wanting, and expecting something truly scary. And while it does have great horror scenes and action scenes, you have to appreciate its base sci-fi aspect first and foremost. Because it doesn't explode and take off like all the other Alien films do in their climax. This one is most different. And for fans expecting just that, it may be offputting.  The film is also oddly paced and structured, and this was expounded in my head, again, because I was expecting horror.

The pacing and structure would be insufficient in a horror movie. It couldn't keep the tension building to a stomach wrenching degree. But... this isn't horror. Remember that, and you'll be okay.

  I love how it doesn't answer the big broad questions.

Instead spends its time refining and reflecting on them, and merely teasing an answer.
Like a brilliant villain who always escapse at the end you might actually feel cheated if he was caught.
I hate movies that try to explain ALL of human existence because it always feels underwhelming cheap and contrived.  This one instead pointed out, we may not want to know the answer at all.
It could be scary. Dangerous even.


I love that.

Back In Black: MIB Triple Review

  With the new MIB 3 here, I decided to revisit the first two movies, in Blu Ray no less, and share my thoughts on the brand new sequel.

Starting with the 1997 blockbuster hit, Men In Black. It had been several years since I sat down and really paid attention to it. Does it hold up well? Has it aged rather badly out of the 90's ala Mortal Kombat? I always had fond memories of this special effects extravaganza, but was prepared for the worst. Hopefully I wouldn't need to be 'deneuralyzed' afterwards too.  Does Men In Black 2 suck as horribly as I remember? Are the effects and subpar stabs at total comedy worth it? And finally does Men In Black 3 bring back the magic?
Read on to find out.

--

  Surprisingly, it holds up just fine and manages to be a completely serviceable, clever, and exciting sci-fi romp. However, when you think of what it could've been, you scratch your head at all the squandered potential. Its a simple enough premise. An NYPD cop, James Edwards (Will Smith), discovers the truth about extraterrestrial life on Earth and subsequently is inducted into the Men In Black, a top secret agency that monitors and polices all alien life on Earth. Immediately, him and his mentor, Agent K (Tommy lee Jones) are drawn into an epic struggle to stop a alien creature on a murderous rampage, and save an entire galaxy.

  Its a straight-forward little story that gives plenty of room for great humor, a few scares, and plenty of decent action set pieces. Its big, its flashy, its slick and stylish. It parades around with wit and charm and gets to be endlessly clever about every little thing. This is good and also kind of bad. The bad I will get to towards the end of the review, since its a relatively minor gripe. But, the good is the stellar dynamic between Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith. Every second of their screentime is pure gold. They are totally fun to watch interact with one another.  They race from one crime scene to the next catching up with 'Edgar' the bug, as he terrorizes around New York and their left to piece together the clues, and keep the public oblivious to the proceedings.

  The movie feels fresh and unique. All the little high tech gadgets and weapons, there's an overblown sci-fi melodrama to it, yet also a very ironic mundane feel to it all.  This is a day-in day-out office job for most of the workers of the Men in Black. The field agents are just like cops. Just another day on the job. A murder to solve, a witness to protect. The usual. Which is exactly the attitude that rookie Jay's mentor, Agent Kay brings to the table. Everything is a-matter-a-fact to him. Nothing shocks him, nothing much even moves him emotionally. But underneath that cold hard exterior that Jay is always trying to crack, you can tell theres someone who cares.  But that all kind of fades out once they start pulling out plasma cannons and de-atomizers and such. All the little nifty toys are so cool to look at and you feel like you get to play with them for a couple hours on this roller coaster ride you're on with Jay and Kay. Its really clever.

  Its full of cleverness. In fact, its bursting with cleverness. So much in love with its own cleverness, it fails to really dive into its own concept and fully explore it. Instead, its content to be merely a snappy popcorn movie. A Will Smith summer vehicle. Thats not to say its a bad popcorn movie! Its a damn good one! A very damn good one. But its not much more and it SO could've been. Still... its a fun ride and a Will Smith classic. For what it set out to be, it was the best we could have gotten. And seeing as how thats still 'pretty damn good', semi-dated effects and all (which still look pretty good for the most part) this movie is still very cool and totally awesome.

--

  Moving on a few long years from 1997 to 2002 we have a fundamentally unnecessary sequel. As those who are familiar with the first one, Tommy Lee's character arc was peacefully and quietly put to rest at the end. He got his happy ending. Smith's character however was just beginning his adventure. And obviously people wanted more. But OH NO!... not without Agent Kay! The fans simply wouldn't have that. So, the writers had to scramble to find a way to shoehorn Kay back into this world in which he no longer needed to be. So, the whole plot had to revolve around Kay NEEDING to be back in the picture. So, on the actual basic premise alone... it feels like an excuse of a movie.  Not a good sign.

  Then... it just got worse. It had a plethora of good, intriguing ideas and concepts behind it, it also manages to be sleeker and even more stylish then before. So where DID it go wrong? The humor, my friends. The humor.  Whatever clever balancing act they had gotten down pat with the first is entirely absent here. Everything is overpowered by comedy, even the action scenes. Not even funny comedy. Just brash obnoxious and wholly immature comedy. And while in some cases this may be funny, not in MIB 2.  For example! The talking pug from number one is back. And he gets a CHUNK of screen time too.  Okay... a talking dog was funny for about a minute in MIB... but talk about beating a dead horse. They made him an agent and put him in a tiny black suit. That was precisely when I couldn't take it anymore. It went sheer off the deep end, caught some silliness on the way down, and landed in a huge pile of stupid. They take every single joke used in number one, replicate it and stretch it waaaaaay too thin.

  Then, they sidestepped every stab at character development that actually managed to crop up and smashed its face in with another flat and unfunny joke. I suppose those who liked MIB as a flat out funny movie might find this one even more appealing. But I liked MIB for its sci-fi/thriller element as well. It was well made dammit! And I found myself, amidst all the updated cgi and flashy action scenes, dying for the wit and intelligent charm of the first one. Last and horribly least is Lara Flynn Boyle... as the villain. Sarleena. Okay, sidestepping the fact that an alien plant that morphs into (of all things...) a Victoria Secret model is supposed to somehow be threatening... she fails to do anything clever with the role. She's not menacing, or scary, or evil... she's just really bitchy. And THAT is not a good villain. The first movie had Edgar, played by Vincent D'Onofrio which was an excellent villain. This lady had BIG shoes to fill... and she didn't. I blame that solely on the writers and director's though. This was one of the movie's horrible concepts. I cannot in good conscience recommend MIB 2. Its JUST not good enough. Smith and Jones' chemistry is still gold, but you have to wade through so much shit just to get to it. And theres always the first one for that.

--

  Landing now, in 2012, we have the entirely unnecessary and pretty much unwanted MIB 3. People remembered how their greedy clamoring brought about such a travesty a whole decade ago. Well let me just say, it was a decade that they spent learning from their mistakes. Most of them. Nearly all of them. I sat through this movie, physically unable to wipe the smile from my face. "They're back!" I kept thinking to myself. All these years later, and we finally have a GOOD sequel. Not only is MIB 3 good, its really good. And while the first is still the absolute best, MIB 3 wastes no time going above and beyond the call of duty to be a really fun time that no one will regret having.

  Its very noticeable they had to construct a story around certain factors involving the cast. Firstly, Jones is a legitimate old man now. His character retired back in 1997. And he's still around in 2012. Old, tired, jaded, worn out and edgy.  Theres no way Tommy could carry half this dynamic anymore. So Jay is carrying the heft of it thematically. That is until the story takes him back to 1969 to stop an escaped alien convict from killing a younger Kay played impeccably by Josh Brolin. Brolin plays Kay so well, physically and tonally, that you'll forget you're watching a different actor and simply accept that its the same character.
He's so good in the role, and he has the unique opportunity to expand on Kay's past and show us a side of Kay we have never seen, subsequently making it entirely his own. Great performance.

  A few celebrities have cameos in here. Eh. Unlike the cleverness of the video ball in the first one that pointed out Sylvester Stallone and Danny Devito are in fact aliens... we get a few nods to stuff like that in this one. And its clever, but its like... you're expecting it. So it doesn't feel fresh and funny anymore. Not that its not well executed, just... very expected. Otherwise the only drawbacks are a few jokes that fall flat, an underused character here, and the fact that MIB 3 feels like it ends far too soon. Yes sir/ma'am. You read that right. This one is so good that you do not want it to end so soon. You want more screentime with these characters. The movie established the basics and the essentials so very very well that by the end of the film, you've fallen in love with Jay and Kay all over again.  Not to mention this one adds a layer to their dynamic that makes it so very... to quote every other review ever: "Profound."

  The supporting cast in this movie is very good too, although Emma Thompson and Alice Eve are totally underused as the same character, Jemaine Clement takes a standard ish villain and makes him disgustingly vile and totally fun to watch. He's no Edgar, but we're on the right track.  But the best supporting character is a quirky little guy named Griffin, played by Michael Stuhlbarg, who can see infinite future possibilities simultaneously which causes him equal measure of panic and glee. He's a joy to watch and a very fun character overall.  Back to the main man here, Will Smith.  Agent Jay picks up most of the slack all over this film.  The humor has been cut back seriously from number 2. No Frank the pug, no Jack Jeebs, and while you may say these are MIB mainstays, and wonder why they aren't here, I think any real fan would understand how the second one butchered those characters through overexposure, and also that there are so many other new unique characters that can be explored.  Beating a dead horse is what killed the second one. This one doesn't do that at all.  So, in the absence of such mainstays, Jay is really spotlighted in this movie, and he's still the wisecracking 'rookie' we know and love from 1997. Even though now he's a senior agent... it seems theres a whole galaxy of information STILL above his paygrade. Which is prime material for some proper laughs. Decent stuff really. Will Smith pulls it off.

  I can fully recommend MIB 3, despite a few tiny slip ups, its an all around solid film that is a damn decent, and surprisingly emotional, companion piece to the first one. Its also every bit the popcorn summer film that number one was. This movie is really fun. Its action packed, witty, stylish, and funny in all the ways a proper MIB movie should be. No longer am I sitting in boredom longing for the intellectual stylings of the first, ala MIB 2, instead I'm wondering what they have in store for the future. If nothing? I'm fine with that too. This was a completely serviceable end to the trilogy and it really washed out the bad taste that was lingering from number 2. MIB 3 succeeds in every way it should've and could've.

--

Overall its a solid trilogy. None of them take themselves so serious as to say you can't own all three. But make no mistake, number 2, despite a handful of okay and clever moments, is undoubtedly the weakest link.
But they all have some measure of mindless fun. Fun times from 1997 to 2012.

The Avengers

  Fans have been waiting for this ever since Samuel L. Jackson popped up at the end of Iron Man as the eponymous Nick Fury. A match made in comic book heaven. Teasing the prospect of an Avengers outing since 2008, it was soon clear that they were laying foundation with these movies. And despite your opinions on any of them, unless you outright hate them, The Avengers is an ideal blockbuster popcorn flick that’s sure to have enough wit, humor, drama and action to satisfy even a non-fan. Though, one reviewer on IMDb gives me pause. He said about Iron Man: "-every frame is dripping with contempt for its audience" Obviously if you're in this specific minority, and you’re of a like mind about The Incredible Hulk, Thor, and Captain America: The First Avenger, then please… don’t bog down the internet with your negative reviews.

  This movie is made for the fans. It’s built around the concept that seeing these famous heroes on screen, fighting side by side, is the coolest thing ever. And I’m not gonna lie… it’s a serious contender. But someone with absolutely NO interest in the superhero genre of films may find this a simple and loud excursion into long action scenes and one liners galore. But enough about who’s not going to enjoy it. Time to let everyone know; as if they didn’t already… this movie is AWESOME. Pure awesome.

  From Mark Ruffalo as Bruce Banner and the Hulk, who does a great job in making the character his own, to Jeremy Renner as Hawkeye (who actually had a brief cameo in Thor), these newcomers feel right at home in this big sprawling superhero adventure. At times you may find… a character slightly underused. But it’s not that big of a gripe. I’m still reeling over the fact they managed to get them all on the same set without the sheer awesome factor of it all imploding the entire production.

  First things first. I was worried it may turn out to be more akin to an Iron Man 3 with Tony Stark hogging more spotlight than that ill conceived movie poster. Or that possibly, these people would have no chemistry with each other. (Though the numerous trailers and TV spots went a long way towards allaying that concern.) And finally, I was worried that Captain America may just steal the movie out from everyone and saving the damn day himself. To put it simply, this movie could have easily been shoved onto the shoulders of any one of these guys. And that would have been horrible. This is THE team effort. The one movie, years in the making, that brings them all together to showcase each of them, and then showcase them as a team. One team. The Avengers.

  Joss Whedon, the director, pulls this off rather flawlessly. Not once does the movie become lopsided. Each hero, each star, gets a spectacular moment to shine. It’s wonderfully structured and pretty awesome to see each character handled so impeccably well. And when it comes time for them to meet, interact, and work together, my other worry was put to rest as well. Their chemistry is amazing. This is a team effort with everyone bringing their ‘A’ game. I had to pinch myself a ways through: “I’m actually seeing this.” It’s precisely the action packed, superhero spectacle I hoped it would be. It is quite arguably one of the best superhero movies. Ever. Not to mention a milestone of filmmaking period. Name one other genre where you can have heroes from five different standalone film series, meet and team up all under one film and have it be as big and stunning as this?

  While you might actually be thinking about that for a second, don’t bother. It was rhetoric. The Avengers is a special movie in that field, none have endeavored to do something like this and pulled it off too. It’s also a very fun ride, because at the core it simply sets out to entertain. And that it does. No doubt I’ll be seeing it again. I’ll probably post another review of it. A fresh perspective sans hype and fanboy adoration. The movie is simple, but incredibly effective. Familiar scenes and lines leap off the screen at the fans, some subtle nods to source material… others not so much.

   Anyways, in the end its ALL cool. Having trouble gathering my thoughts, but before I wrap this up, I’ll make special note of the fantastic climax. It has immense scope and scale and all the intricate action set pieces within it are choreographed wonderfully and shot meticulously. In the midst of chaos, we see the team come together and function as a unit. They fight back to back, follow the Captain’s orders and kick serious ass. The imagery alone is enough to make and self respecting fanboy geek the heck out right there. Not to mention the fantastic score by Alan Silvestri.

 
  See it. You know you’re going to anyways.

The Cabin in the Woods

  The trailers did so little to actually get me interested in this movie. But its not their fault. Had they shown me the stuff that would've made me run the fuck outside and buy a ticket right then and there... it would've spoiled some of the best stuff about the movie. Which leaves every review in a predicament. We can't tell you all the reasons why this movie is great. We have to talk about it, without really talking about it.  Its a love letter to classic (as in 80's) horror movies.  It pays tribute to just about every horror movie ever. And it manages to slide all this under a story that takes typical done-to-death horror tropes, and turns the entire concept on its ear. Fundamentally so.

  I think, you have to be a fan of the horror movies that this movie pays tribute to in order to enjoy it as much as me and my fellow nerds did.  I hate to say that. But some movies pander directly to a specific demographic.  It would seem cool and creative to everyone else, but this is made FOR the nerd crowd. We can point out stuff and say "oh look! thats a reference to *insert 80's horror movie here*! Isn't that brilliant?" whereas the crowd around me in the theater just scratched their heads.  I don't wanna say the movie is without merit for people who aren't steeped in movie knowledge, but its a sweeter experience for those who are.  Theres a really cool cameo at the end; the people in the theater who gasped, grinned, and went wide-eyed, they got it. The people who didn't... they already didn't like the movie.

  The movie is a wild, scary, creative and fun ride on its own merit.  Even those who can't point out every little thing will recognize the broad strokes and how this one brings something incredibly fresh and inventive to the table. The acting is superb and everyone fits nicely into their respective roles.  I did manage to unfortunately miss the first 8 minutes, and as a result my perception of the pacing might be off a bit. But I've been filled in, in detail, by a fellow movie geek.  I don't think it'd actually sway my opinion. But the movie's pacing was insanely fast. Just... breakneck pacing. And I think it might've been a bit too fast? But no thanks to google's incorrect showtime listing, I walked in 8 minutes late, thinking I should've been early. As a result, my whole perception was thrown off. "How late am I? How off was google?"  The movie kicked off so fast and so intensely, I felt as if I was watching the climax. "How can this be happening so soon?"

  One look at my watch let me know, I had actually already been sitting there for thirty minutes. It felt like five. My whole sense of time was fucked with.  However the movie itself began to set me straight,  once I saw where they were going with this wild new take on things... I realized it was FAR from over. In fact, the best was yet to come. And oh my god, I was totally unprepared. Totally.  I've not seen this much pure "awesome" crammed into the last 20 minutes of anything in a long time. I would argue my own point with the awesomeness from The Raid, but that doesn't count. This is a totally different genre. But these two movies are must-sees that warrant a theatrical viewing. I'm seriously considering seeing both again in theaters. However, The Avengers assembles next friday. My wallet is going to be in sheer pain by the time the summer is over.

  Overall, Cabin in the Woods is a breath of fresh air that feels slightly experimental, but also a rip roaring fun time for genre fans. Theres even a decent dose of humor in there as all proper horror movies should have.
I can't wait for the Blu Ray. Theres parts, specifically the last 10-15 minutes, I'd love to go over with a fine tooth comb on a hi-def TV. The climax of this movie, the last 20 minute stretch was worth the price of admission alone. It was amazing. And evoked many a grin from the audience members in-the-know. I can't praise this movie enough. It does have its flaws, and the way it ends may make or break the whole movie for you, but it takes a true cold cynic not to appreciate everything that came before. Such good, creative, and scary fun. I loved it. Alot. I totally recommend it.

Beyond the Black Rainbow

  First off, let me say that I didn't actually catch about... 80% or so of the plot, because I couldn’t hear most of the dialog. The why-fors and what-nots as to why I couldn’t hear it, is largely irrelevant because unless you’re watching a DVD screener rip of this in the middle of the night in a place with lots of light sleepers and thin walls, you shouldn’t have the same problem. Anyways, from what I gathered, it’s about a young woman named Elena, who’s being experimented on in a quasi-futuristic commune called The Arboria Institute and her subsequent journey, trying to escape it. It’s… quite the trip.

  The acting is great all around. The villainous Doctor Barry Nyle (I’m assuming he’s a doctor of sorts. They weren’t entirely clear on that. Or maybe I just didn’t catch it) has quite the presence here. His performance brings to mind some early David Warner stuff. Only with the brooding dial cranked up a notch. When Warner spoke, it gave you chills. When this guy speaks, it’s not as powerful, so the lines have to be written in a certain way. I think they pulled off his character wonderfully though.  He’s creepy as all hell and a real on screen presence.

  Secondly is the actress who played Elena. She is really only required to display two or three emotions, but that’s not a weakness in the script. Her character is trapped and rather hopeless, so there’s a lot of despair. But you also can see she has telepathic powers, so there’s a big underlying strength that’s there too. And there’s more you know, but the actress really does pull it off very convincingly and with hardly ANY dialog. Maybe ONE line? The entire film? Again, this isn’t an issue. It just sells her character that much more.

  I’ve browsed through online forums and boards that discuss the plot and story in great detail, and I’m not sure I’ve actually missed much. The movie is spread thin, and although it’s bursting with plot, there’s very little discernible story. Everything is open to interpretation like a really rich dream. Its takes you weird places and shows you fantastic sights, there’s a story to it… but it’s almost impenetrable. Like if you look hard enough, it all falls apart. I’m not saying ‘Rainbow’s story is weak. I’m saying it’s aloof from conventional storytelling. It literally feels like a dream. Not a nightmare, but a really strange dream with drug trippish visuals.

  I suppose that’s its selling point. Its visuals. There is a lot to see and take in. In this movie, you’re shown some insane looking stuff, some cool looking stuff, and then stuff that’s on the fringe edge of sci-fi concepts and designs. From that standpoint? I absolutely LOVED this movie. It’s a trippy visual feast for the eyes, and its dream fodder for the imagination. The imagery in this movie will stick with you for a long time. The music as well, it has a very 80’s electro synth vibe to it. It fits so well with the future-retro style and tone that it’s nigh impossible not to completely love it as well. It compliments the visuals and imagery insanely well. They’re inseparable.

  And I suppose in the end, the drastic shifts in tone, the glacial pacing, the retro-ish tone, the outstandingly weird visuals, and the sparse dialog is what cements the dreamlike feeling. If you’re looking for something vague and creepy, this is where it’s at. It’s a colorful and expertly constructed art-house exercise in… pure weird. If you can’t love it for that, you won’t even like it. At first, I was largely on the fence. But once I embraced the dream-like perspective my whole opinion just… shifted. I’m a fan. Can’t find much else to say about it, but I seriously can’t wait to see it again.

The Raid: Redemption

  Theres a point in this movie very early on, the first real confrontation between our protagonists and the bad guys, where I found myself recalling a scene from another movie. My favorite movie in point of fact: Aliens. Theres a scene in Aliens where the colonial marines get into their first horrific skirmish with the iconic monsters who all but 'tear them a new one'. Up until that point, all the guns and hardware really made them look tough as hell and ready for WWIII. But you quickly realize these poor guys are up to their knees in shit. They're so far in over their heads, that we're bound to sit through one hell of a relentless, unforgiving, balls-to-the-wall, roller coaster ride.  You get that same kind of tip-off in The Raid.  Buckle up.

  First of all, believe the hype.  This movie is wall to wall violence. The kind of in-your-face action that genre fans have been desperately craving for a long time.  Its everything movies like The Expendables promised, and failed, to deliver.  Simply one "Holy shit!" moment after the other.  Indonesian star and star of The Raid, Iko Uwais really steals the spotlight off guys like Tony Jaa (Ong Bak) in one fell swoop. Some action stars can burn through years of movies and an entire filmography and not get a hit this awesome.  It brings to mind the climax of 2008's Rambo. Except, it takes the intensity and impact of that glorious 15 minutes and multiplies it into an hour and a half of brutal carnage.

  Theres another moment when you realize that the movie is also kind of manipulative.  The hero is the hero because he can't be bought out. He's not a corrupt cop. And he has a pregnant wife at home. And he prays. So he must be a spiritual man. My point is, its like telling apart chess pieces. These must be good because white is pure, and black symbolizes darkness.  But in reality, these attributes of his don't make him a compelling character. You're supposed to care if he lives or dies. After all... he has a pregnant wife at home. Thats obviously excuse enough to care.  But its still an excuse. Not a reason. Theres no time to develop him fully as a multidimensional character. Its sad the movie can't be bothered to really flesh him out, yes, but in a flick like this... its hardly a necessity.

  In that same moment you realize the movie is essentially a video game on autopilot. Headshot. Ten points. Action figures with big loud guns and swords shooting and chopping each other up until we can see what's inside.  Blood and guts of course. And lots of it.  The video game jab would've been an insult several years ago, but now, with games like Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 and its successors reaching cinematic heights of raw entertainment, its a total compliment.  Like a video game, you can skip the plot heavy cinematics and cut to the chase. Which of course is the action. Shootouts and knife fights, and outside of the Call of Duty comparison, martial arts.  Apparently a specific kind of indonesian martial arts called Pencak Silat. Whatever it is, its impressive as hell and brutal all the same. Please sir, I'd like some more.

  Though that can hardly be said after sitting through The Raid.  If anything you'll be in action movie detox after its over. Its an expertly balanced excercise in well coreographed overkill and chaos.  Its a bloodbath of epic proportions. Every bit of effort that went into it, from the amazing score by Mike Shinoda (of Linkin Park and Fort Minor fame) to the camera work itself, is all focused on intensifying the action on display and contributing to the preceedings in a very impressive way.  The usual shaky cam plague that haunts modern action movies is significantly toned down. Used here in careful moderation to simply accentuate a fight, not send a 9.5 earthquake into your face.  So in short,  The Raid plays like a huge climax to a massive action movie. Its bare bones plot and lack of character development are hardly drawbacks, but you really do wonder what it would be like if you actually cared about these characters. If we had some time to see them develop outside of gun fights and such. 

  Of course it'd be an even better movie.  But there is no reason why you can't enjoy The Raid for what it is: pure action. I loved it. I really enjoyed myself. With the theater room almost all to myself, there was little to stop me from saying "Woah!", "holy shit", and "Fucking hell!".  Not to mention, I was able to put my feet up without anyone bitching about it.  It was a great time and a great movie. I'd see it over and over. Maybe even in theaters over and over.  But with upcoming films like The Avengers, MIB 3, Prometheus, The Amazing Spider-Man and others, I may just have to wait for the blu ray. Rest assured, its one to see. Though, in case I haven't stressed it enough with the comparison to Rambo, this movie is NOT messing around.  It IS a bloodbath. And if that sounds like an hour and a half of heaven on a stick to you...
without hesitation, go. Go now.

Brick

  Watching Brick was an experience. The proceedings are simply enough described, but theres so much more under the hood than you might assume.  "A loner navigates the dense social network of his high school to uncover a crime ring and solve his ex girlfriend's murder."  Simple enough. Right?  But what the back of the case can't possibly tell you is how much this feels like a big, noir, 30's detective mystery.  Once you think of it like that, the parallels nearly jump off the screen at you. Its wonderful.

  Joseph Gordon Levitt is undeniably a very good actor. But I had only been familiar with him in supporting roles. For some reason, movies like Brick, Hesher, and 500 Days of Summer keep falling through the cracks of my "To See" list.  However, last night I was bored and in need of a decent murder mystery. Without hesitation, a couple friends of mine recommended Brick.  Familiar enough with the title, and the actor, I thought: "Why the hell not?"  I'm so glad I didn't hesitate or get distracted by something else. This movie was deserving of my undivided attention.

  Visually the movie is stunning. It creates a foreign atmosphere using often overlooked sides of familiar places. What movie hangs around behind coffee shops and in the back of big school buildings? Parking lots, gutters, ditches and sewers? Theses are all places we take for granted. But to have settings placed almost behind the main lines of what we normally see... is rather unique. And refreshing to be honest. It all has a grimy feel to it. These are the places that harbor the goings-about of shady individuals up to no good. The look of the places often match the individuals that populate it.  For a movie thats so high-school centric, we hardly ever see the typical adolescent bullshit that goes on in teen drama movies. The teens here operate in their own world, they plot, navigate, and survive in ruthless social circles. Someone is always keeping tabs on someone else.

  Coming to my ultimate point, it doesn't feel like you're watching a bunch of teens.  This is where I started to connect the dots with the noir-ish P.I. tropes.  Brendan, (Joseph Gordon Levitt) is obviously the private eye who gets the call from a dame who's deep in trouble. She's in deep with the wrong people and needs help getting out.  The private eye tries to help but before he knows it, she turns up dead and the case just turned into a revenge thing.  Its a classic story, but instead of dirty trenchcoats and cold city nights huddled under a streetlight, or lounge singers in nightclubs, we have the settings and characters provided to us by this world the teens inhabit.  There is in fact a femme fatale, a red herring, a drug lord, his muscle bound goon, the hero's usful informant/sidekick and of course the slowly unraveled backstory of our protagonist and his girl.

  Ontop of this brilliance, we have fantastic camera work. It shows off the preceedings in a very fresh and undeniably unique way. Its awesome. Every other scene has a clever camera maneuver or editing trick to keep it visiually interesting and endlessly stylish.  It never descends into gimmicry. Its just subtle touchs here and there, and occassionally an artistic flair. In short, Brick is a fantastic movie to simply look at.  Its all the better that it has a great and engaging story, and a protagonist as timeless as the classic tropes upon which the movie builds on.  And if this sounds too "art film-y" for the rest of you, fear not. Brick is at its core a fast paced murder mystery with a fair amount of intense parts.  Like one of my favorite movies, Drive, it contains the action to necessity, not excess. There are a few fight scenes, and they are well edited, but it works off of character. Which I personally think makes them entirely more entertaining.

  As is the case with the whole movie. It actually has a breakneck pace. Stop paying attention for a few minutes and you're going to miss important details. Its raw entertainment with very few drawbacks. Its doesn't ever fumble the ball or have a crap 3rd act, or have poor acting, or any of the usual stuff.  Its that... when you break it down, the characters are merely archetypes, and the things they're going through is an outline. Its flaw is in its design. But because the design is something so awesome to experience and take in, theres no possible justification for calling it on the carpet for it. 

  In conclusion, Brick is a fascinating movie thats thoroughly engaging and wholly entertaining. Its a murder mystery and a crime thriller of the finest degree. It gets major points for originality and uniqueness. In my humble opinion, Brick is a must see.

TITANS WILL WRATH! (2 in 1 review)

  I actually really liked Louis Leterrier’s Clash of the Titans. It was a remake of the 1980 ‘epic’ of the same name. Going back to the original, I find its only eye candy. It’s a plodding, poorly acted mess. Not saying this one is any better, but the eye candy is far better and the action scenes have scope and feel really intense. I’m pretty sure this butchers all kinds of mythology, but I don’t really care. It’s just a silly action movie. As a critic, I’m pretty sure I should be calling it out at every turn and pointing out that accepting movies like these just allow studios to get away with mass producing endless crap. But I’ll let this one slide. Those scorpions were really freaking cool. And now they’ve made a sequel…

  In Clash’ Sam Worthington was a muscle-y demigod with a buzz cut. Which in and of itself made little sense. But okay. I put that aside. The role called for very little acting chops. This was… alright. The original may have had a good cast but so many of their performances were just horrible. So in conclusion, the remake trumped the original in the only area that mattered; even back then: Special effects and eye candy. It has a grand scope and top shelf CGI. It’s kind of a symbol of the issues with modern action movies.

A- Its a remake of a property that could’ve been left well enough alone.

B- Every fight scene is a slick and polished mess with camerawork rarely accommodating the decent choreography.

  There are moments in Clash that simply work really well and pay off all the spectacle and action, and these scenes are really good. Though as a whole the movie fails to elevate itself to any respectable measure. It seems not just content to be a mindless summer action movie... it revels in it.  It all the abundance of CGI, the rapid-fire action editing, the grunge-y punk music in the trailers that sneaks its way into fight scenes, and all of it.  But... I love it.  The movie has no right to be this fun and yet fall face down into every pitfall imaginable.  In fact, it doesn't just fall.... it dives.

  The supporting cast is great obviously. And even a few of the lesser known actors get entertaining roles that are fun to watch. Especially the hunters, and Mads Mikkelsen as that cool guy who's name I can't remember right now. So yeah. Suffice to say, that despite all its glaring shortcomings it manages to be a serviceable piece of fun eye candy. Its the base of my expectations for this new one. And that's really what I'm here to review, but so much of it was overlapping so without further ado...

--

  Now, its 2012 and they’ve released Wrath of the Titans. Thus making way for more insanely simple minded taglines: “FEEL THE WRATH” As if “TITANS WILL CLASH” wasn’t bad enough. But oh well. Who’s to judge a movie by its tagline? Suffice it to say since all the first one way was simple eye candy, I wasn’t about to expect any iota more from this new one. Which was a smart move. Wrath moves so very very fast we don’t really have time to connect with the characters (I’ll not reinforce this point to heavily since I missed the first five minutes). We’re given a painfully simple setup and CGI with scope that eclipses the last one within seconds. If all you want out of this one is monsters and CGI, you’ll be happy.

   Like a kid in a candy store. There are all kinds of new re-imagined creatures for our oft blank protagonist to fight and defeat this time around. Though you wonder, at a certain point in the movie, if that’s not bad acting at all and Perseus may simply be used to giant hellish monsters. What else could explain his extraordinarily bland performance here? Sorry folks, I like Sam. Liked him in Avatar, in Terminator Salvation and Clash of the Titans. But if you thought he was flat there… he falls exceptionally flat here.

  Except… in the humor. That’s right. This movie excels with the humor. Due in no small part to the entire cast (sans Rosamund Pike) has a “screw it, let’s just have fun” attitude. The result is a cast who looks like they’re having fun. Like a bunch of kids playing with toy swords in their buddy’s backyard. They smile, they run around, they stab things, they jump and roar at each other. Good times yeah?

  But yes, the humor. There are actual scripted funny moments, and a comic relief character who’s not facepalmingly bad and actually quite fun to watch. His personality alone steals the scene on multiple occasions. And he seems to have good chemistry working off of Sam’s frequent blankness.

  The movie has great effects, but there’s no build up to it. Fantastic sights and breathtaking locale aren’t given proper attention. We’re rushed there, shoved around, and yanked right back out. The movie sacrifices a feeling of grandiose for a relentless pace. The result is a mixed bag. I’d like to see panoramic shots of the underworld. Maybe a close-up of the soldiers’ faces and the calm before the storm as their impending doom bursts out of a mountain to smite them with waves of lava. The effects themselves are flawless, but their effect leaves much to be desired. In a world full of danger and monsters, it feels rather hollow. However, there are some scenes where Sam actually does pull through a strongly convincing emotion, and there are some scenes where everything just works. It just does. Which is amazing.

  And the movie itself, more often than not, is just flat out fun. There’s no time for character development or anything like that. Monsters. We need more monsters. These would be complaints at any other movie, but Wrath has a certain charm to it. It has the precise depth of a Saturday morning cartoon (and that’s being generous too) but it succeeds with raw spectacle. Even though it may be rushing through the motions, the fights are well set up and well choreographed, the monsters are cool to look at, the CGI is awesome, and there’s a smattering of well placed humor.

It’s a popcorn flick. The kind one could easily despise. But… as for me? It was just as easy to have a great time with it. Through all the nitpicks and complaints, Wrath of Titans is seriously just a lot of fun. Dumb fun, sure. But still. Fun.

xXx

  Director Rob Cohen's xXx is a total Vin Diesel vehicle. And while it has its moments, it should work better than it does. I'm pretty sure that xXx was a direct response to the James Bond franchise. Only, instead of doing a simple James Bond retread, the idea was to find a muscle-bound icon of current 'cool' to headline the secret agent role. Replace the suave Englishman and his well tailored suits; instead we have pimp coats and hard rock/hip hop music in place of such 007 trappings. Cool nicknames must be catchy, short, and easy to fit into a repeat gimmick. Bond had 007. Xander Cage (Diesel) has XXX. Oh my! It’s even tattooed on the back of his neck. That’s so cool.

  So much of this movie seems self obsessed with how 'cool' its protagonist is. The whole premise is that undercover cops are too text book and they need an undercover man who's hip to whole current scene. So? Solution? Force a well known criminal to do your dirty work for you. It’s such a self serving premise. Like the movies where the plot makes an excuse for the cute dog to play basketball or for monkey's to team up with secret agents. It’s ludicrous. Those are extreme examples, and xXx's plot isn't that horrible. It just is a simple excuse to take a street thug and make him a secret agent. The excuse is the plot, and the plot is an excuse. There are also quite a few excuses to have Xander on a BMX motorcycle, snowboard, or hanging from a parachute every five minutes. Oh that’s right, I forgot to mention, he’s not just any street thug… he happens to be a vastly popular extreme sports personality. Way to go Vin!

  I will be fair and point out that the movie itself is not entirely without merit. Vin Diesel does what he can with the character and surprisingly he works best in the humorous moments. That’s not to say that he doesn’t pull off ‘badass’ quite well, but to say he nails the entire role 100% would be far too generous. That’s the same with the movie overall, it doesn’t quite get it right. Not all the way. Its definitely the stuff popcorn films are made of. Sexy women, international spies, large explosions, cool looking cars and gadgets galore. But something is simply off. The story feels downright cartoonish at times, and some of the action scenes look corny. If it had focused more on being its own beast, and not a James Bond homage, it might’ve been better.

  Samuel L. Jackson is in here. And he sleepwalks through his role as Diesel’s recruiter; playing a character we’ve seen from him dozens of time. Although it’s nothing new, it’s actually quite a fun character to watch. Jackson brings him to life, providing a decent counterbalance for Diesel’s rampant recklessness. Xander cage is told to infiltrate a Russian gang, bent on destroying the world with chemical weapons. To accomplish this task, he’s given unlimited access to field resources. So many guns and gadgets he’d have James Bond and Ethan Hunt jealous as all can be. Speaking of Ethan Hunt, M:I:II tried to be a James Bond homage. It wound up feeling like a rip off. If there’s any great compliment I can level at xXx, is that it succeeds in being an homage.

  The movie itself is as self indulgent as its own protagonist. It finds every reason possible to jump off cliffs, show loud clubbing party scenes full of scantily clad women, blow up cars, get into chases, and shoot things. This isn’t such a bad thing. But it feels forced sometimes. The movie has dated rather poorly too. It languishes in the styles and music of the late late 90’s and early 00’s. Some of it is facepalmingly bad. And surprisingly, some of it works. Getting down to the bottom line here, xXx is consistently fun; sure, however it does have plenty of missteps in it. When it’s good, its great fun, when it’s bad, it just feels awkward. Vin Diesel does a lot to keep it in the “guilty pleasure” section and out of “total waste”. His charisma is always fun to watch and he’s an ideal action figure to gallivant around looking cool while blowing things up. That’s xXx in a nutshell.

The Chronicles of Riddick

 Vin Diesel has certainly cut out a name for himself in action movies. But one of his best was undoubtedly Pitch Black. An early 00's sci-horror flick in vein of Alien. Who could've predicted that the sequel would be a massive big budget sci-fi epic in vein of Dune and/or Star Wars. But with a leading man like Riddick, it’s obviously going to be darker and more violent than either of those.
Insert Vin Diesel's trademark smirk here: Obviously.

  The Chronicles of Riddick is massive in scope and vastly different in tone from its predecessor. Pitch Black inhabited a gritty futuristic world like you might see in Firefly and Blade Runner. However our look into this world was narrowed to a mere glimpse. We see a ship, its crew, and small insight into the kind of environment it operates in. This is all flipped drastically in The Chronicles of Riddick. The world we're put into is still the same gritty future, but its inhabited by villains who wouldn't be out of place in a sweeping medieval epic. Instead of scary looking black horses on which to ride into a scene and slash away at the innocent villagers, they have scary looking spacecraft, impeccably designed to evoke a gothic and futuristically regal look. Its an odd balance of tone.
 
   We expect characters like Riddick to be up against bounty hunters, law enforcement, and mercenaries. The vicious aliens in the first one fit the plot so well that it’s hardly relevant to the point I'm making here.  Seeing Riddick end up being the reluctant hero tasked with avenging his race and saving the universe from a whole legion of space-faring bad guys is stunning, overwhelmingly different, but not at all unwelcome. He went from a mere badass to mankind's savior over the course of a movie. And given the character, and how Vin Diesel inhabits him so well the movies may feel a world apart, but they’re linked very nicely.

   There still are mercs, and prison planets, and all the tropes a sequel to Pitch Black should have, but those are tiny plot points. The scope of the narrative has exploded and multiplied exponentially. We’re no longer confined to the sci-horror/survival nature of the first movie. This is a movie where the fate of all mankind hangs in the balance. And Riddick is the prophesied savior. And that’s the point I’m making. There are elemental beings, and prophecies, a villain who is half dead and has been to the gates of hell apparently, and its very fantasy oriented. Sci-fi fantasy, granted, but the world from Pitch Black didn’t seem like home to these characters and their mythical prophecies. It was a gritty world. Devoid of such things.

Was the shift in tone a bad one? No. It expands the universe that Riddick inhabits in a big way. Some may not care for the tone of this one, and it’s understandable. It really is like if the sequel to Alien had Ripley joining a cause to save the universe and fight Darth Vader and blow up the death star. That’s how drastic it feels. But doesn’t that sound awesome? That is indeed the case with Riddick. Dropping him into a situation like this creates for massive spectacle and intense eye candy. Because we’ve dropped those confines, we’ve got a character-faithful space adventure with insanely high stakes that speeds from one big action packed set piece to the next.

Visually it’s incredibly unique. You’ll be hard pressed to find another movie like it. The closest I can even think of, is David Lynch’s Dune. Spacecraft and weapons aren’t the typical rocket powered, and pew pew stuff from Star Wars. Stuff looks fundamentally unique and incredibly different here. If for that reason alone, see it. It’s a refreshing bit of eye candy that doesn’t feel like a run of the mill sci-fi actioner. It’s a big budget space faring epic at its Hollywood finest. Vin Diesel and cast all bring their A game and deliver some very good performances.

   The story is a little heavy on things it never takes the time to adequately explain, but it seems well written, and the dialog isn’t bad. All the acting is very good. Its overall very well put together. And it certainly shows. This never once feels second rate. Its first class action and adventure all the way. And with a character as badass and iconic as Riddick who’s simply a whole lot of fun to watch, this movie is pure entertainment.

  It does however; help to see both movies to get the full weight of the character development and what these guys have been through. But given the grand scale of this one, Pitch Black would feel merely like a prologue. And from that perspective, The Chronicles of Riddick hardly wraps up the book. It’s merely chapter one. We still have many questions, many loose plot lines, and a huge cliffhanger.  It doesn't feel like we got a crap ending. It feels like this was simply made to extend over a few more movies. And it helps that we actually would like to see more.

I’m enthralled. It genuinely has me. I’m ready to start reading the next chapter. Hurry the hell up Diesel, Twohy, I’m ready for it. And I have a feeling, so are a lot of other people.

P.S. A third Riddick film is already filming and slated for a 2013 release.

Mortal Kombat

 

  It’s a definite product of the nineties, and it has the director's trademark stamped all over it. So how about the source material? The ever popular Mortal Kombat video game? The thumb-numbing brawler with supernatural opponents and a disturbing predilection for blood and gore? Yeah well, the movie leaves out the game’s #1 trademark. Its blood and gore. The over the top-ness and edginess that garnered so much controversy and attention for the iconic game, is woefully (or thankfully for you weak-stomached viewers) absent from this 90’s beat em’ up flick.  I actually love this movie though. I don’t think anyone will disagree it’s a first class movie in a sub-genre renowned for being universally horrible.
And while that doesn’t say much for the movie itself in all honesty, it still manages to be a fun ride after all this time.

  You know those movies that are so bad they’re good? Yeah, Mortal Kombat isn’t one of those movies.  Its humor isn’t the unintentionally bad dialog, in fact quite the opposite. Some of these jokes, however immature, (not slapstick, thankfully the movie doesn’t stoop that low) are carefully set up and paid off in a snappy fashion. Some are hit and miss, and some still make me smile. Linden Ashby, as Johnny Cage, is not a muscle bound movie star like Jean Claude Van Damme (kudos if you get the connection) but he does a good job of inhabiting his character, kicking his way through the choreographed fights and carrying the heft of the movie’s lighter side on his back; shouldering nearly all of the comic relief and one liners. Pretty much every funny moment in the movie is related to Cage somehow. And most of them work really well. He’s certainly one half of the major charisma in this flick and definitely worth mentioning first.

  The cast has decent chemistry, but nothing insanely strong.  The characters are all pretty much archetypes, but they’re based off two-dimensional video game avatars with miniscule bios (at the time).  The movie does a respectable job at building personalities for these people, and giving them distinct motivation.  Now, this is pretty standard stuff for any halfway decent movie, but video games movies, like I pointed out are usually flat out awful; making embarrassing and painful to watch pitfalls out of even basic stuff.  So it’s surprising to see Mortal Kombat, a movie which forsook its own source material’s winning trademark, nail all the basics, and pretty competently too.

   It’s really sad that the female lead here is relegated to such an unimportant role, and ends up being a mere damsel in distress by the end. However, she gets her moment to shine, even if it is a fight that’s own choreography is horribly outdated.  The star hero, Liu Kang, is competently acted, nothing great, but he gets the job done. His strong emotions may be convincing, but as a character he’s a walking cliché until he ends up developing a dynamic with his costars. Most famous of which is Christopher Lambert. If you don’t know who that is, and you consider yourself a film buff, this movie will hold no star appeal for you at all. So don’t go looking for a-listers here. Lambert plays the thunder god Raiden, the would-be typical Ben Kenobi role if it wasn’t for his winning smile, trademark laugh, and the fact that he’s just having fun with this role. And it shows. He’s a real pleasure to watch in this movie.

  “A handful of people on a leaky boat are going to save the world?” a character asks the thunder god early on.
   “Exactly.” He replies. And chuckles.  The movie is so preposterous, yet it asks a self-aware question like that, poking fun at its own plausibility. It’s a scene that sets the tone for you. When it’s serious, its dead serious, but it’s also a lighthearted martial arts romp through supernatural realms with otherworldly opponents and lots of special effects. Its silly and it knows it. Hell, it outright acknowledged it.

  But silly or not, the sets are great, the one liners have decent shelf life, and it has a kicking soundtrack. The villains (especially Shang Tsung played by Cary Hiroyuki Tagawa) chew scenery like bubble gum, and it’s fun to watch their over the top performances as they brood back and forth in colorful lairs and intricately designed dining halls. All these places that are simply destined to be reduced to rubble by wire-fu and plenty of eye candy super powers.  The fights are synced to snappy bass-heavy techno beats, and it works. It enhances the pacing of the fights, making them seem more intense.

  It stays true to the imaginative tone of the games, keeping character designs and entire locations as faithful and relevant as plausibly possible, the result is a fantasy adventure which certainly has scope but at times lacks the hard edge a movie based on these games should have. But visually and tonally its incredibly faithful. And it really pays off more often than not.  Catchprases, cameos, and sly nods towards the more knowing audience members are peppered throughout and the fans really appreciate this stuff. Myself included.

  You can also tell which actors are actors and which are actual martial artists though. In that respect they balance almost each match up perfectly. To compensate for the actors’ lack of martial arts knowledge, their opponent is a super powered fighter with enough special effects spectacle to make up for occasionally sub-par choreography.
But when a martial artist is fighting a martial artist, most specifically the final showdown, it just seems that much more intense. Which in an odd way, actually adds to the climax of the movie.  ‘Saving the best for last’ as it were. It’s certainly something to really look forward to at the end of each viewing. 

  In conclusion, if you know what you’re getting into, Mortal Kombat can be thoroughly enjoyable and even warrant repeat viewings. Its a simple competant action film with an old fashioned, Harryhausen-esque epic sensibility that enhances the fun factor of the atmospheric proceedings. Its a flick that may not always hit the right marks, but its always fun, and has great, stunning production design, and lots of special effects laden fighting to watch. Even if its all a tad outdated.  Flawless victory on account of a perfect adaptation? Maybe not, but that doesn't mean its a particularly bad one either. I, for one, love Mortal Kombat.