The Street Fighter

  Sonny Chiba is quite a character. His martial arts is brutal no doubt, but his personality is a cross between a mysterious ronin and a monkey on crack. This movie exhibits both sides, quite excellently. It has a good reputation for him just kicking ass and taking names. The plot muddles itself alot around the midway, but he never lets up with the ass kicking and strange chimp like karate yells. What can I say? The man's so badass, it's not one bit funny.
Well... maybe a little.

  The plot has something to do with the sole heiress to a now ownerless multi billion dollar oil company targeted to be kidnapped. No doubt to be forced to sign over her company. The film then somehow, maybe it said and I missed it, maybe it was lost in translation, or maybe I was just losing focus before the ass kicking started, but the film somehow brings our protagonist (Sonny Chiba. Duh.) into this as her protector. Which means lots of confusion and people thinking he's trying to kill this person when he's trying to kill the other person and then the other person thinks- you know what, it felt like a mess. But that doesn't mean that you can't follow the basics. Bad guy. Good guy. Damsel in distress. (even thats foggy at times) Fighting ensues. Pretty great formula.


  There's lots of quotable dialog and really unique clever shots that cement this flick as a cult FAVORITE. It's the kind of movie I love to recommend and the kind of movie I love watching with a bunch of friends. The scene where Sonny rips off a guys junk right through his pants is bound to get some reactions.
And if that doesn't, then you're watching the movie with a bunch of corpses. Despite being dated, and the fake blood being a tinge too bright, it still has impact and feels gritty all the same. There is a shlocky b-movie quality to it, a retro appeal, but the movie doesn't feel low budget or amateur at all.  The acting is mainly pretty good, but I mean, it's only as good as you can expect when the dialog's averaging stuff like "If I'm not your partner, let me be your slave!"
Yeah. It's that kind of movie.


  Sonny Chiba prowls from scene to scene with an undeniable cool and ease.  He knows he's the baddest guy on the scene, we know it, and everyone else just... can't get it through their thick skulls. But you know what never has a problem getting through their thick skulls? Chiba's fists of fury. Lots of bone crunching, skull cracking hits. Lots of blood sprays and gore galore. If this isn't the over the top kung-fu actioner you've been looking for, I don't know how to help you.  This doesn't feel like a rip-off of anything else. It may be muddled and such, but it's still pretty great. The last 40 minutes feel especially cohesive and easy to follow so the fights and action scenes are easier to enjoy that much more. Very cool movie all around. Not much to dislike here.


Overall it's a damn solid chop-sockey flick meant to be enjoyed with a switched off brain and a bowl of popcorn. (just make sure you're done by the testicle-rip...) It can hold it's own with alot of Bruce Lee flicks, and has a charm to it that alot of Martial Artists just can't pin down.I loved it and I'll own it the very first chance I get. It's a good, bloody, fast, fun, cheesy good time.

The Cell

  The Cell is not a movie for the faint of heart. It's actually a pretty disturbing head trip. When so many movies nowadays use their antagonist merely as a neglected plot device to get the ball rolling, The Cell turns the camera directly on the bad guy here, the killer and the movie is all about what makes him tick. It's scary, it's original, it's amazing.

  Rather than being just a slow burn character study on the nature of a serial killer or something to that effect, director Tarsem Singh has produced a rapid fire thriller while managing to make it a character study at the same time. Its pacing is great and it juggles a few levels of the same story,  which is about a social worker (Jennifer Lopez) who's working at this institute place in this very science fiction-y procedure where they put her mind into the mind of a coma patient, and her consciousness can poke around in there to try and find the problem and get him to come out. The movie opens inside said coma patient's subconscious and its quite a set piece, quite the punch to open the movie with. You might think it sets the tone... but the tone isn't set until you start seeing dead bodies. And you ultimately know that she's sooner or later going to have to enter the killer's mind for some reason or another.

  The early scenes with the killer, played effectively by Vincent D'onofrio, serve as kind of a series of warnings saying, if you can't handle this stuff, get out now. Granted if you've seen films like Se7en, Videodrome, Jacob's Ladder and/or anything else by Tarsem Singh, you might be a little more well prepared for the inevitable horrors you'll see when Lopez's character must take the trip into his twisted mind. Now, all the actors here do a more than servicable job with their roles. However nobody exceptionally owns their part. Though to be honest, aside from D'onofrio's killer, "Stargher", the characters are pretty standard fare. The dedicated detective (Vince Vaughn) who's a cop because of some sad tragedy he witnessed in his past which he'll inevitably tell to the do gooder social worker who sees the good in everybody, which... inevitably will lead her to see "the good" in our serial killer, which is cleverly and accurately portrayed in his mind as his child self.

  We're introduced to the mechanics and look of the mind bending process immediately after the opening. It looks cool, and matches the odd and creepy tone of the movie. The two people who're getting their minds merged in a way, are wearing these stylized bodysuits that look like the human musculatory system, and they're suspended in midair by super thin, high tensile wires. It looks like they're floating. Which is a recurring theme in the movie. But what works exceptionally well is the fact, there is a ticking clock in this movie. Before the killer is captured he has a kidnapped woman trapped in a tank somewhere thats slowly filling with water. The whole contrapment is automated, and she'll drown if they don't get to her by a certain time. This brings us to J Lo's involvement. She must probe Stargher's mind and get him to divulge where he's hid the woman.

  Inside his mind, which is a veritable pandora's box of horrors and terrifying imagery, she has to find and chase around the scared and abused version of his childhood self,  hoping to appeal to his 'inner child'. In his head, she sees memories that he has of his horrifying childhood at the hands of a brutally abusive father. Its so terrible in fact, that it humanizes the killer. The notion that a movie's vicious villain may actually have trauma in his past that drove him to do the things he does may be severely unnerving to some, distasteful to others, and perhaps even outright offensive. People tend to like things clear cut in thrillers like this. The bad guy is bad and entirely unforgivable, lets hunt him down and murder him for his crimes. I get it. I get why that would be cathartic in a society like this. But seeing this poor boy brutalized at the hands of his father and subjected to horrible things... makes you wonder about the same judgemental society.

  The Cell doesn't point fingers or offer solutions. It simply illustrates that these horrible serial killers are actually people. Horribly messed up people who commit attrocities, but they are just people. And through Stargher, we see that often, these horrible people were actually victims themselves at one time. Their mind is broken, and something is wrong. Are they actually evil, or just capable of evil?  The line in this movie isn't blurred or even much addressed, but it's just one of the things you may find yourself thinking about when it's over. I didn't feel sorry for the grown man who would drown these women and turn them into his dolls so to speak, but I did feel sorry for the little boy who's father abused him so relentlessly and mercilessly. They are in fact the one and same person. More food for thought.

  I can imagine plenty of moviegoers hated this movie. They went for a simple somewhat scary summer sci-fi thriller, and got that- and a whole lot more too. They got deep social, ethical, moral and gravely serious questions raised right in their faces. Questions they weren't prepared to even think about. Let alone attempt to come up with an answer. It's full of images and scenes so disturbingly bloody, and unnervingly graphic, and confusing and fundamentally psychologically penetrating that people might not want to get that close to such a disturbing character.

  In fact, it's so psychologically penetrating it really feels like you're getting a peek into someone's mind. Sets and scenes flow like thoughts and sweeping macabre vistas host the darkest parts of his killer mind. It's so impressive. This stuff alone is worth seeing it for. It's truly scary and disturbing on a very deep level precisely because it desconstructs the villain on such an intimate level. In order to save a life, our do-gooder protagonist has to see the good in a man most would consider to be evil incarnate... and her playing field, is inside the darkest... most disorienting... most terrifying place imaginable...

his mind.

If your intrest is piqued and you can stand all the freakiness, than the Cell, is a 12 year old ride that holds up so well, its worth every second of your time and money to find and watch it. Even despite a disappointing final set piece, its still a massive scary thrill ride thats exceedingly unique. I give it a recommendation.



Sleeping Dogs

  I'm already a sucker for asian crime dramas. Something about the big Hong Kong John Woo thrillers just gets me all the time. From A Better Tomorrow to the iconic Hard Boiled and more, I can't resist them. And this game feels like you're behind the steering wheel of a classic drama like those. However the promotion that drew me to the game boasted more of its Fast & Furious attitude. And I must say its a wild ride.

  Those here for the story won't be disappointed. The phenomenal voice acting lends a real sense of gravity and believability to the proceedings in an amazing way. With the likes of Kelly Hu (X2: X-Men United), Tom Wilkinson (Batman Begins), Will Yun Lee (Elektra), and Emma Stone (The Amazing Spider-Man) its no wonder the dialog and such is delivered so damn well. Its great just listening to their conversations even. The story itself is very familiar to fans of the genre, and probably movie fans in general. It centers on an undercover cop, Wei Shen, who is tasked with taking down a faction of the triads from the inside. However, as he works to earn their trust and their loyalty he starts to get close to them... and the lines between right and wrong begin to blur.

   What's good about this story is that it lets you make up your own mind about who's good and bad in the story. As a cop, Shen is frequently given morally questionable orders, and at times forced by his commanding officer to do things that are downright unethical, and this would be easy to illustrate that the cops are crooked and he should be loyal to the Triads. However, the Triads ARE criminals. They run drugs, prostitution rings and protection rackets. All of that stuff. Hardcore criminals. Which you find yourself instantly in a very difficult middle ground. On one hand, he's a cop, tasked with upholding the law, and on the other... he's a Triad, who's bound to his 'brothers' with loyalty, honor, and a code.

  On that alone, Sleeping Dogs is most engaging while you're doing story missions. I neglected alot of side stuff to do for the sake of finding out what happens next. Its nothing wholly original, but due to the fact the characters feel fresh and have a level of gravitas, its incredibly engaging. The relationships the protagonist builds are endlessly interesting. You don't get to affect how they develop so much, this isn't like Mass Effect or anything. Story-wise, its like watching a movie in the sense that you're just along for the ride. But what a ride this is. From massive speeding car chases that would make Michael Bay green with envy to a climatic shootout in a hospital that feels like it pays homage to Hard Boiled, Sleeping Dogs is amazing from start to finish.

  The gameplay itself is really satisfying and really fun. Your martial arts skills being the shining gem of the bunch with shootouts and driving not far behind. The combat system will feel very familar to Batman: Arkham Asylum/City and Assassin's Creed veterans. Its largely a counterattack based melee setup, but if you know your stuff well, you can look just like a pro movie star, martial artist master and 'Jet Li' the shit out of about 30 or so guys who just keep coming at you.

  Aside from the story, there are endless side activities to do, like... fight clubs. Which have 6 rounds. In the biggest one I've been to, by round six I was fighting easily about thirty guys. But when you win everything you get cool outfits that nod to the greats like Tony Jaa, Bruce Lee and more. Very fun stuff. And speaking of outfits, you can customize Wei to a satisfying degree. The clothing deal is more akin to GTA IV than say... Saints Row 3. But the clothes you can buy for Wei actually look cool. Unlike the short end of the stick poor Niko Bellic got...

  While Sleeping Dogs may not encourage mass free reigning chaos, its still a vast open world sandbox in which you have plenty of diversions to keep you busy for hours. Whether you want to practice your Ezio-ish freerunning or jack a car and crash it all over town, theres also no shortage of transportation. So go roam about and find new shops and such. And you might run into little mini activities that employ some of Shen's more police-ish gadgets and techniques. From picking locks to planting bugs and hacking security cameras, you might be surprised how much effort you have to put into some of these. Its all fun though. All the diversions and such made readily available to you really do a great job of breaking up monotony. Not that there is much, but thats largely thanks to how engaging the story is and like I said, all the cool little diversions.

  If I have any complaints they're small, insignficant and summarily irrelevant. Sleeping Dogs deserves alot of praise. Its a slick polished roller coaster ride through the triad criminal underworld with all the big budget trappings of a fantastic big screen crime thriller. I loved every minute of it. Couldn't have asked for more. I whole heartedly recommend Sleeping Dogs. Even if you think you've seen it all in Saints Row 2, 3, and games like Just Cause 2 and GTA IV, here is a game that takes elements from all of those and manages to be so well put together, it feels like something fresh. A breath of fresh air. And a new must play in my book.
Sleeping Dogs, to put it simply...
simply just... kicks ass.

Avatar: The Last Airbender

  Reviewing a whole show, is a pretty big undertaking. But Avatar is not just any show, its good from part to part, great from one season to the next, and utterly epic as a whole. Its the kind of "chosen one", coming-of-age adventures that hollywood can't seem to get right anymore on the silver screen. Its powerful, and funny, and moving and action packed. Its worth sitting down and seeing the whole show as soon as possible.

  I don't address it so quickly as a "cartoon" because even though it IS animated, the term "cartoon" springs Tom and Jerry or the Looney Tunes to mind. Mindless silly animated bits with a punchline. They exist solely to make a joke, rarely ever to make a point. I'm not saying that Avatar is the only kid's show to ever be more than simply a cartoon, I'm just saying... this one knocks your socks off. From the way it handles its mature content, of which there is a lot, to the way it carefully develops archetypal characters into people who we grow to know and care about, the show feels less like a saturday morning cartoon, and more like a massive budget hollywood epic. It may sound crazy to those who have no desire to sit down and watch a "cartoon" as you may label it, but it IS worth it. This show IS awesome.

  A reviewer of another movie once said (and I paraphrase...) "It has the right combination of elements to put the magic back into saturday matinees..." I can't think of a better way to describe Avatar. It's layered and complex, never too much though. It never overwhelms or drops an indecipherable heap of backstory in your lap. It moves with the characters. We discover things as they do. Not only plot wise, but emotionally too. As the leads develop feelings for each other, its a subtle budding romance thats handled tactfully and paced out just right. In fact, just about everyone goes through the emotional ringer on this show. Theres friendships made, romances kindled, alliances formed, and betrayals suffered. The characters aren't perfect, morally idealistic, role models either. They make mistakes, they feel rage and want revenge. The thing is, they learn from their mistakes, and the characters are all the stronger for it. Its a really impressive thing to watch how they handle it.
  For those curious about what the Avatar actually is and the world in which the show takes place, here's some stuff from Wikipedia:


  Avatar: The Last Airbender takes place in a world home to humans, fantastic animals, and spirits. Human civilization is divided into four nations: the Water Tribes, the Earth Kingdom, the Fire Nation, and the Air Nomads. Each nation has a distinct society, wherein people known as Benders have the ability to manipulate the element of their nation using the physical motions of martial arts. The show's creators based each bending style on an existing martial art, leading to clear visual and physical differences in the techniques used by Waterbenders, Earthbenders, Firebenders and Airbenders.

  At any given time, there is only one person in the world capable of bending all four elements - the Avatar. The Avatar is the spirit of the world reincarnated in human form. When an Avatar dies, this spirit is reincarnated into the next nation in the Avatar Cycle, according to the implied correspondence of seasons to the nations' cultures (Winter/Water Tribe; Spring/Earth Kingdom; Summer/Fire Nation; and Autumn/Air Nomads) and must master each bending art in seasonal order, starting with their native element. Additionally, the Avatar possesses an ability called the Avatar State, which briefly endows them with the knowledge and abilities of all past Avatars as a self-triggering defense mechanism, which can be made subject to the will of the user by extensive trial and training. If an Avatar is killed in the Avatar State, the reincarnation cycle is broken, and the Avatar identity will cease to exist. Through the ages, the succeeding Avatars have served to keep a relative equality among the nations; whereas in the story's mythology, the Avatar connects the material to the spiritual world, and vice versa.
--

  The events 100 years before the beginning of the show are revealed gradually and out of order throughout the series.
  More than a century before the beginning of the series, the ruler of the Fire Nation, Fire Lord Sozin, planned a world war to expand his territory; but knowing that his friend, fellow firebender Avatar Roku would prevent him, arranged the latter's death, whereupon the Avatar was reincarnated as an Airbender named Aang. Aang was told the truth of his status while still a child, despite the protests of his mentor Monk Gyatso; whereupon Aang, fearful of his new responsibilities, and of separation from Gyatso, fled his home on his flying bison, Appa. The two were subsequently forced into the ocean by a storm, and Aang's protective Avatar State encased them in an iceberg, in suspended animation. In an attempt to kill the new avatar who would be an Air Nomad, Fire Lord Sozin carried out a genocide of the Air Nomads, leaving Aang as the eponymous "Last Airbender".
--

  The war Sozin started raged over a hundred years and is still going strong when a teenage waterbender girl named Katara, and her her brother find Aang frozen in the iceberg. They release him and unknowingly kick off a massive quest to help Aang learn and master the other three elements to overthrow the vicious Fire Nation and stop the tyrannical reign of the current Fire Lord. As with any epic quest, there are twists and turns and epic battles, and the characters become practically like family. From episode to episode, it retains a fantastic formula, there are your episodes that are more humorous and laid back, and these are like a rest stop almost, because Aang and co. are relentlessly hunted by the Fire Nation. Their lives are nearly perpetually in danger.

  Its intense and powerful, but the show is not without a lighter side. Theres lot of humor, and its all well timed and genuinely funny. As the show goes on, it develops inside jokes and a stronger sense of humor. Its this part of the show that will entertain the younger audiences, but theres also absolutely nothing keeping older viewers from really enjoying this rich and engaging show. The action is fantastic, the animation is excellent, the humor is actually funny, and the stories are incredibly well written. None of this feels like a little kid's show. Its thoughtful and really fun. I can't recommend it enough.

Small Soldiers

  Small Soldiers plays out less like a Dreamworks family film and more like a sci-fi war movie. Only, the combatants are about 10 inches tall and made of plastic. Don't let that fool you, the movie has these nasty little blue light specials not-so-accidentally outfitted with military grade microprocessor chips that can learn and adapt within the core programming...
well what happens when you program a bunch of toys to go to war with each other? God help whoever gets caught in the middle.

  Which is exactly what happens. The frustrated teenage son of a conservative toy store owner first stumbles across a few of the 'Commando Elite' (the bad ones) and the 'Gorgonites' (the peaceful aliens) action figures before they officially hit the stores. Within no time at all, the ruthless toy soldiers, once voice activated, rip out of their own packaging to literally go and dismember their rival toy line. Not only are they self aware, but they realize that their weapons are made of cheapie plastic. "Standard issue is insufficient!" their leader yells, voiced with much gusto by the pitch perfect Tommy Lee Jones.

  At this point, the gravity of the situation starts to don on the viewers once the trigger happy toys start acquiring actual knives and dangerous household objects. Its as cool as it is unnerving and kind of scary. For grown ups, they might sit back wondering "wow, what cool special effects" at first and then "I really have all that stuff in my house?". Everything from toasters to chainsaws, the tiny little soldiers turn everything into weapons of massive destruction. Kids however, might be frightened at how vicious and bloodthirsty the pint sized commandos get (can you tell I'm having fun with these nicknames?). Humans get physically harmed, even kids are assaulted and injured. This is no Toy Story, despite it being a perfect parallel, its legitimately violent and scary.

  Don't be put off, this is no horror movie. But its a far cry from something to market to little kids. Things get really intense towards the end, and some kids may not be able to handle it. Even though the good guys are cute, and the movie has a funnier, lighter side to it at times, I can see why the critics slammed it for being pushed so heavily towards the young youth demographic, but all they did was bury a good movie under loads of undue negativity. But I say let the power of the viewer prevail. People I know, like this movie. It's gotten around. Its a fun little action movie thats a grown up alternative to the tiny toys from Andy's bedroom with all their schmaltz and cuteness. This isn't Disney folks. And its all the stronger for it.

  Small Soldiers is witty, and sarcastic, its somewhat thought provoking, undeniably cool, visually interesting and full to the brim of gizmos, gadgets, and the latest in state of the art makeshift household weaponry and warfare. By the end of the movie, the neighborhood is a veritable battlefield with flaming wreckage, charred pieces of plastic, and all kinds of little weapons the baddies put together, strewn all over the lawns and streets. It escalates and escalates from its humble toy story beginnings to this block war thats pretty captivating to watch.
  I can't in good conscience say that the controversy over Small Soldiers itself is relevant anymore. No, now we have movies like The Dark Knight and The Dark Knight Rises lining toy isles at Wal-Mart with miniature versions of Batman himself, and his psychotic villains. Those movies are far more violent and at times, sadistic.

  There is no longer reason to fret over this quaint little adventure when I'm seeing five year olds sitting in on a screening of Predators. This isn't progress to be proud of though. We're so desensitized as a society, that stuff like that is only going to keep getting worse. Sad as that may be, theres no reason to not go out and rent this solid little actioner. You might be pleasantly surprised. And unfortunately, I won't be surprised either - if you find it in the kid's section. But seeing as how I've seen some kids are clamoring for Freddy or Chris Nolan's Batman... Small Soldiers might be the tamest thing they'll see all year.

  Perfect family movie...? I'll let you decide.

Spawn

  So Spawn just came out on north American Blu Ray (the Canadian transfer was beyond shit, and not even full HD)

Only $9 bucks. Worth it? Despite seeing the movie as a flawed piece of glossy junk.... I can't help but like it. So yeah. I think its worth it. A shlocky piece of bad 90's nostalgia that can be a little mindlessly enjoyable for only just under 10 dollars? Not bad.

All the special effects, comic relief, PG-13 action, and big sprawling sets one could want from an almost-gothic summer superhero blockbuster. However, does any of that sound like what Spawn should be like? No, unfortunately. Its lackluster in most ways that count, ultimately failing to be a decent live-action vehicle for Todd McFarlane's flagship character. The bad guys aren't really scary so much as they are simply... greedy and power hungry. And I'm sorry, Martin Sheen is horribly out of place here as lead villain, Jason Wynn. Like John Travolta as Howard Saint in The Punisher. So when you have a story that revolves around a super assassin being killed, sent to hell, only to be granted power by the devil himself, and thrust back into the world a year later with a vendetta on his hands... you don't really wanna go 'tame' with it. It begs to be edgy and harsh but... alas.

Its not that gritty, its not that violent, even the R rated cut, is only a slight improvement. I also find Leguizamo's demonic Clown to be a total drag. He's gross and unfunny, not scary or threatening in the least. He waddles around like DeVito in Batman Returns, failing to be a competent villainous counterpoint for our hero in turmoil, and instead comes across as merely annoying. Props to John for pulling off the look, but damn, it was the worst comic relief ever. Not even his leeway with the crude humor churned out anything witty.

Worse yet is the dreadful setup of what should've been something Epic, but instead the movie continually confines its set pieces to small claustrophobic arenas that are indeed big on eye candy and admitted kinda fun to watch, especially when Spawn has the mask ON and isn't busy pulling a Judge Dredd, but they lack the scope and impact of what Spawn SHOULD have. For a big budget, spendy, summer movie adaption, it felt like they didn't have a grip on their own big scale effects, and I know from documentaries that the studio tied their hands content wise, so... how this even got made? I'll never know.

On the upside, Michael Jai White is fun as possible as an ass-kicking hell-hero with a vengeance. He sells his lines no matter how corny, and the spawn suit looks legitimately awesome and badass to me. When he's rocking the guns and crashing through windows with Gothic imagery a-blazing and his massive computer rendered cape a-flowing, the movie is quite fun. It succeeds in matching the fun and stylistic high points of Batman Forever, (with less neon and less facepalm worthy moments) and the same kind of action as you might expect from a 90's PG-13 summer blockbuster. Worth snagging from a bargain bin to watch when you're bored. Not all the humor is bad, some is quite chuckle worth, and the photography is quite stunning at some points...

But, this is an absolute case of missed opportunity and sheer bad timing.
Its worst crime is being able of being described as 'tame'. Nothing about Spawn should EVER be described as tame. That’s a crying shame.

The Amazing Spider-Man (The Game)

  The Amazing Spider-Man: The Game, is a valiant effort by Beenox to return Spidey to his proper high-flying open world gameplay that made a couple of the previous movie tie-ins so much fun. Most especially Spider-Man 2. And while you may find yourself missing a few of the little things from the other games, there’s hardly a bad thing to be said about this go-round at all. With solid game mechanics, great graphics, and fantastic voice acting, the game lives up to its title and succeeds in being ‘amazing’.

  Like any reboot should do, the movie, from the looks of it, is shaking things up quite a bit. And the game does too. Right away, fans of the other movie tie-ins will miss the tutorials narrated by the sardonic yet hilarious Bruce Campbell. Though one can hardly complain, once you do get your hands on Spidey, and feel out those controls you’ll have a hard time not smiling. Not only does his character model look fantastic, he handles incredibly well, and slips into combat with style and ease.

  It’s a return to top form for Spider-Man. No longer is there a button needed to stick to walls, just walk up to them, press for a second and you’re wall crawling. Easy as pie. Next is web swinging. Sure it may look kinda odd now to not see his webs specifically anchoring to buildings as he swings through New York, cause I mean… that was really cool in the other games, but how many times did it simply impede things? Rather than add functionality, it would trap you in frustratingly awkward spots where buildings met, and leave you flopping like a fish on the side of a skyscraper. Instead, they’ve found a happy medium. You can’t clear web your way high across Central Park, you need to be relatively tree-level. So much for swinging from the clouds!

  Also gone is a distinct sprint button which forcibly encourages web locomotion as the only way to fly. Er… swing. And now , ‘rush’. In place of the personally missed sprint button, we have the nifty ‘web rush’ button. Which when pressed and held, slows time to a near halt, brings things into a first-person view through Spidey’s orange-y lenses and highlights points in your surrounds where you can zip to.  Once you target and select a spot, whether it’s a streetlight down the block, or a vantage point in an Oscorp lab to evade being spotted, you’ll find that it’s a lot more than simply zipping. The computer takes over and flings spidey to his destination with style. The sequence is always different granted that you’re in a more complicated looking web rush. He could run along side of a bus, and then flip off of a building to get to his destination, or you could be treated to a completely different acrobatic feat. You never know. Getting from point A to point B, is sometimes just as mundane as that sounds, but pick a neat destination and you’ll get a stylish treat along the way.

  Next is the combat, which is great. It’s brisk and intense, and it makes you look like a pro by simply button mashing. However, that isn’t as easy as you progress. Villains everywhere get a little tougher, and there are more of them too. Not so easy to whale on one guy, while someone’s behind you trying to shank you. No problem, there’s your trusty spidey sense! Right? Right. Only you usually have about half a second to break whatever combo you were building and dodge the dude trying to come at you from behind. This isn’t a flaw with the game, though a bit of slow motion before a surprise attack from behind couldn’t hurt either, but then again there’s already so much of that in the fighting mechanics anyways.

  You have a handy retreat button as well, that when pressed zips you away to a (usually) safe spot, so you can take a few seconds to regain a bit of health. Now, you can also web rush enemies, which leads to all kinds of devastating attacks you can unleashed. That trick combined with quick and frequent application of the retreat button is useful for picking off foes you don’t wanna get too close to. Or crowds as well!

  There’s a decent story here too, and surprisingly great voice acting. I really mean these guys are awesome! Word to the spoiler sensitive, this game gives away A LOT from the movie. Stuff you probably don’t want spoiled. So, if you’re adamant about having a fresh experience with the movie, then, you should shelf the game and only play it after you’ve seen the film. I have a great feeling it’s going to be a fantastic companion piece. I’m sold on the feel of the movie, and now I’m more than satisfied with his new outfit, and even the orange lenses are growing on me. That being said, The Amazing Spider-Man game… pardon me for saying this, still kind of pales in comparison to Spider-Man 2. In which you could deliver pizza’s, find secret hideouts and all kinds of deeply interactive stuff that TASM is simply missing. It has lots of little comic book tokens hidden throughout the city… about 700 of them. And for every so many found, you unlock a full classic Spider-Man comic book from the main menu. This is super cool, but I still think some more in game secrets, a few nooks and crannies…. All that stuff would’ve made this even better. The upgrade menu is far more practical than in Spider-Man 2, but offers far less to unlock. Bummer. Kind of. Rather than unlocking hundreds of new acrobatic moves, you’ll be expanding on core fighting techniques and webbing tricks. Not much you can complain about since all of those tricks come in EXTREMELY handy, but no doubt there’s room for a little more expansion here. Sequels are always right around the corner! I better see you there Beenox!

  They’ve in no way dropped the ball here even despite a fair helping of shortcomings like, the game is on the brink of repetition more often than I’d like, but they smartly mix it up before it gets overbearing at all, if only slightly at times. Some of it is too easy, other parts take far too many do-overs. But it’s all very very fun and enjoyable to play. Most of these gripes come from indoor missions. Which aren’t GREAT but can provide some interesting puzzle solving and stealth techniques too. Even in mundane missions, the thrill of pulling off one successful stealth takedown after the next is addictively fun. Veterans of the Batman games from Rocksteady would appreciate this. Having said all that, the feeling you get from swinging through New York again is simply amazing. It’s a rush and a very intense and thrilling rush at that. The city and swinging through it alone is enough for me to say this game is a must buy. Despite all the nitpicks, this is truly a return to top form for Spidey and one that I’ll be hanging on to for a very long time to come. Unabashedly fun and filled with solid and engaging gameplay mechanics, easily this is the best AND best looking spidey game for the current generation of gaming consoles if you ask me.

Battle Royale

  

With the new Hunger Games movie here, which I know little of, marketers decided it was time to release the other movie with the practically-identical killer concept: Battle Royale. And I can’t vouch for the Hunger Games, but Battle Royale doesn’t PG-13 their movie. Instead they dive into the content headfirst, providing quite the brutal experience; an experience… not to be missed.

  The premise is ludicrous; no modern civilized government would sanction a law that strands a bunch of teenagers on a deserted, military patrolled island, forcing them to brutally MURDER each other in mortal combat until only ONE survives. They could’ve padded this out by maybe showing us some mock news footage of how bad society has gotten and that this was their only solution to keeping the youth in line. But no, just a short debrief loaded with statistics in the beginning and then right to it. But since you most likely already know what the movie is about, you’re totally willing to overlook that massive implausibility and just get right to the game.

  We know very little about this group of teens at the outset beyond the fact they’re your typical group of cliquish school going brats. There are the quiet ones, the loud ones, the jocks, the sluts, the brainiacs, and the fat kid. A lot of these archetypal characters get a lot of exposition and expand into fully fleshed out characters. Others… are trapped by their own cliché. (I.e. Fat kid, Brainiac) This is sad, but also kind of unavoidable. You have around 44 kids in there, most of who are going to die within the first hour. You just know it. That’s not even a spoiler folks. This movie is a bloodbath. And it’s just unavoidable that some of these kids are simply going to just be cannon fodder

  Fortunately, the movie carves out clear-cut protagonists and antagonists. The real key players (with the glaring exception of one) all have rich back-story and well fleshed out motivation. They’re fully developed characters which are a joy to watch. The outstanding young actors bring a next level sense of believability to their roles and it makes the proceedings that much more visceral and frightening. Some of the kids who end up being antagonists are downright scary and unnerving to watch. There are plenty of amazing performances to be seen here. It’s a very scary concept, a very brutal and unflinching movie and it ends up being very cohesive, and dare I even say relentlessly entertaining? Its breakneck pacing and near-gratuitous bloody violence could land this movie in some unfair categories and stick it with undue stigma. But it’s a very thought provoking movie with a lot of emotional backbone.

  It’s rare to find a movie that tries so hard to have a practically laughable concept (albeit scary) portrayed as dead serious, and succeeds. Well this movie succeeds. And it succeeds by focusing more and more on the characters and their struggle as the runtime ticks by, and less on the strange and unnerving social parable which it’s selling. In order to stick more to a social commentary, it would’ve had to lose its favoritism of characters, strip everyone down to un-relatable archetypes and not give us the satisfying ending that it did. That movie wouldn’t work. We’d be dragged through the trenches of a brutal bloodbath, with no emotional anchor, and the already implausible premise being uselessly reinforced and insisted upon, the movie would be an unbearable chore to sit through.

  Thankfully it’s not though. It may lose some of its higher messages by diverting to a slightly more Hollywood-esque third act, but it doesn’t lose our attention. And it already has us invested emotionally. I can’t imagine many people saying that the ending was unfair to the story itself. In fact I feared it would be something horribly nihilistic and grim. Which would make sense given the sheer dread and hopelessness present throughout the movie, but thankfully they rewarded our investment and gave us the ending we wanted. Maybe it undercuts a lot of what the movie was saying, but you’re able to sigh a breath of relief and satisfaction because by the end of the movie you’re way more concerned about the characters than you thought you would be. At least I was. As the movie’s focus shifts from horrific social parable to a character driven fight for survival, your expectations do too. And you don’t even notice. This is a very skillful switch off that could’ve ruined the movie. Instead, it saved it. I love this movie. And I absolutely recommend it.

Street Fighter

  I can't imagine taking any part of this movie seriously. But with a new video game adaption being popped out every couple years now, it was some sort of retrospective mandatory thing to go back and look at one of the ones deemed the worst.

  However bad this may be, I think they're getting worse. Perhaps all you have to do is dangle something noisy and shiny in front of me for a while and I'm entertained. Not to say there’s anything shiny about Street Fighter, more like... plastic. Glossy sugar-cereal plastic. It’s got the noisy part down, but... I pinch myself in disbelief while watching this mess of a movie wondering if they intentionally made it so bad. The humor is forced and there’s far too much of it. In the entire run time of a movie FILLED with unnecessary humor, there may be only two jokes that work. Two jokes that are actually funny. But they're funny in a painfully stupid Dumb and Dumber type way.

  So, you’ve got a movie full of humor that’s not funny, hopefully maybe the story or the action itself can save it from being a total wreck? This is something that I see far too often, people hoping that a movie will magically get better after sitting through a boatload of screen time, seeing nothing but crap. This movie sets the tone FAST. The action is uncoordinated, slow and cheap. The story is so overly complicated in its details; it can’t even be SIMPLE fun. No it complicates the shit out of everything. It’s so convoluted it’s sickening.

  The acting is as bad as the story and its one liners, which are as bad as the action, which is as bad as the humor. So generally, the movie is bad. But somehow, amidst all the crap and everything this movie has something it really shouldn’t. It has charm. It has that B-Movie, bad dialogue, horribly cheesy kind of charm that makes it almost irresistible. And maybe it’s just me, but the overblown sets and the corny action scenes make it seem like they were just trying too hard. But again, its impossible to take ANY of it seriously. The bad guy is the best actor in the movie and he’s in FULL scenery chewing mode and he’s a blast to watch. Everyone else has their moment of overacting which can invoke quite a laugh, but its real charm is in how everything inherently feels like a crappy stage play.

  Comparing this to the newer Street Fighter movie about Chun Li, and I can safely say, this has selling points that one just doesn’t. Despite being a really retarded movie, there’s always something keeping your attention to the bright and colorful hilarity on screen. Which is the best compliment I can level at this movie. The newer one may have better fights, but its drab and boring and I fell asleep during it. I can’t really recommend Street Fighter, even to fans, as it butchers the story as well as the characters, but its one of those movies with dialog so bad you can’t help but burst out laughing. Two hours of that might not always be a bad way to spend a Saturday afternoon.



Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance

  I thought the first Ghost Rider was okay. Fun for the effects and such, but deeply flawed.  Along comes a sequel that nobody wanted or really even expected. Since the first's reception was so lukewarm, why would anyone invest more money in a pretty direct sequel to it? Well the directorial team behind the Crank films must've convinced them they could do something epic with it. Did they succeed? Not with flying colors, but I think they did.

  Nicholas Cage cuts loose as Johnny Blaze in this one. Equal parts afraid of his own power, and also batshit power drunk on it. The result is a manic madman who's in a fight, hardly his own, just to get this 'curse' lifted off of him.  There's a moment when a character asks him something like "Am I going to regret bringing you along?" and he has a few spastic seconds to ponder his answer before saying... "Yes."

These little bits are where the dialog AND Nic Cage gets to shine hand in hand. He can be quite fun to watch here.  Also worth pointing out is Idris Elba as a french... biker... priest. Yeah. His level of badassery is off the charts. He's played with an irresistible charm by Elba, that is... when you can understand him.
The dynamic between him and and Blaze is also really fun to watch.

  In fact, the whole cast has serviceable chemistry. Where their acting falls flat, the script picks up the slack, where the script fails, their acting pulls the weight. When both are faulty, the special effects and the action scenes are so undeniably fun, you couldn't possibly care about what's not working at the moment. However, it is a juggling act. Its rare anything in this movie clicks one hundred percent. Its kind of erratic. Every length of something wrong has a equally good counterpoint though.  This keeps the movie from being boring or flat, but not always from being kinda sucky.  I find it far less sucky than the first one, but its still wrought with issues.  But despite a painfully standard story and a totally non-frightening Devil, Spirit of Vengeance manages to be pretty fun. Its scary badass looking protagonist blazes a trail through the sludge of shortcomings and delivers round after round of high octane, large scale, explosive action. Lots of fancy good looking special effects here. This movie is prime eye candy that's a hell of a supernatural action flick.

  However don't be fooled, this lacks the charm, emotional heft, and overall quality of more recent superhero movies. VERY recent ones even. But the argument could be made... none of those movies have a guy with a flaming skull. And that's why I like this movie. Its quirky and fun. Nothing overly special or even good. But its a fast paced little thrill ride with plenty of flaming destruction to keep your attention for a while. The story is trimmed to the bare essentials, and this isn't really a bad thing. Its to the point. We're here for the action. The motorcycle chases and flaming skulls. We get it too. Lots of it.  Its really fun to watch.  Stylish, kinetic, frenetic, and off the wall. A pretty decent Ghost Rider flick to be had here. Not bad guys. He definitely looks way more badass this time around.

Prometheus

  I guess I felt a little funky about the movie because given it was Ridley Scott's return to the Alien franchise, I expected something bone-chilling and haunting like the original.  Instead I got something profound. Profound in a scary way as only a Scott Alien movie could be like.

  First of all, its not a horror movie like Alien or a fast paced actioner like Aliens, its far more focused on a much larger picture. Which is too broad to be confined to either genre. So instead its purely sci-fi.  Whereas the first movie's bigger picture was the questions behind it. The horror of the unknown. And the second movie's scares were much more in the craft of the way it was paced, structured, and unleashed on us;  Prometheus gets under your skin in a much different manner.  Its the reflection on the questions it raises about mankind's origins.

  Theres a scene in the movie where the android, David, played brilliantly in an amazingly nuanced performance by Michael Fassbender asks one of the scientists on the ship why he wanted to ask his creators why they made them (humans in general). And their exchange is brilliant. David retorts by asking "Why did you make me?"
And the scientist said "Because we could." and even if David hadn't further illustrated the rather obvious point of his retort, it still would've been haunting. Its these moments in which Prometheus excels greatly.
 
  Theres also enough gore and blood and creepy creatures to go around but if you go in expecting to be scared or get an action rush, you'll be dissapointed. And this amazing movie deserves more than that.

First off, on a technical and visual level, its jaw dropping. The planet, the space scenes, the way the camera takes it all in, is brilliant. And beautiful. Its eye popping. The designs of everything from the creatures to the "space jockeys" to the ship itself and the uniforms the crew wear, its all amazingly detailed, carefully constructed, vibrantly and fully realized; its a real treat to see it all.

  Theres also absolutely no doubt about the fact that this IS an Alien prequel. But instead of one that tells the story of characters we already know, or how they got there, this one in a rather vague way, is about how the monster we all know and love to hate, came to be. Its distant origins. Lots of things about the alien in general are answered. And at the same time... we have a whole new set of creepy and haunting questions that will no doubt keep the franchise afloat until someone has another idea on how to continue from here.

  I do have minor gripes about the movie. But this is because I went into it, wanting, and expecting something truly scary. And while it does have great horror scenes and action scenes, you have to appreciate its base sci-fi aspect first and foremost. Because it doesn't explode and take off like all the other Alien films do in their climax. This one is most different. And for fans expecting just that, it may be offputting.  The film is also oddly paced and structured, and this was expounded in my head, again, because I was expecting horror.

The pacing and structure would be insufficient in a horror movie. It couldn't keep the tension building to a stomach wrenching degree. But... this isn't horror. Remember that, and you'll be okay.

  I love how it doesn't answer the big broad questions.

Instead spends its time refining and reflecting on them, and merely teasing an answer.
Like a brilliant villain who always escapse at the end you might actually feel cheated if he was caught.
I hate movies that try to explain ALL of human existence because it always feels underwhelming cheap and contrived.  This one instead pointed out, we may not want to know the answer at all.
It could be scary. Dangerous even.


I love that.

Back In Black: MIB Triple Review

  With the new MIB 3 here, I decided to revisit the first two movies, in Blu Ray no less, and share my thoughts on the brand new sequel.

Starting with the 1997 blockbuster hit, Men In Black. It had been several years since I sat down and really paid attention to it. Does it hold up well? Has it aged rather badly out of the 90's ala Mortal Kombat? I always had fond memories of this special effects extravaganza, but was prepared for the worst. Hopefully I wouldn't need to be 'deneuralyzed' afterwards too.  Does Men In Black 2 suck as horribly as I remember? Are the effects and subpar stabs at total comedy worth it? And finally does Men In Black 3 bring back the magic?
Read on to find out.

--

  Surprisingly, it holds up just fine and manages to be a completely serviceable, clever, and exciting sci-fi romp. However, when you think of what it could've been, you scratch your head at all the squandered potential. Its a simple enough premise. An NYPD cop, James Edwards (Will Smith), discovers the truth about extraterrestrial life on Earth and subsequently is inducted into the Men In Black, a top secret agency that monitors and polices all alien life on Earth. Immediately, him and his mentor, Agent K (Tommy lee Jones) are drawn into an epic struggle to stop a alien creature on a murderous rampage, and save an entire galaxy.

  Its a straight-forward little story that gives plenty of room for great humor, a few scares, and plenty of decent action set pieces. Its big, its flashy, its slick and stylish. It parades around with wit and charm and gets to be endlessly clever about every little thing. This is good and also kind of bad. The bad I will get to towards the end of the review, since its a relatively minor gripe. But, the good is the stellar dynamic between Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith. Every second of their screentime is pure gold. They are totally fun to watch interact with one another.  They race from one crime scene to the next catching up with 'Edgar' the bug, as he terrorizes around New York and their left to piece together the clues, and keep the public oblivious to the proceedings.

  The movie feels fresh and unique. All the little high tech gadgets and weapons, there's an overblown sci-fi melodrama to it, yet also a very ironic mundane feel to it all.  This is a day-in day-out office job for most of the workers of the Men in Black. The field agents are just like cops. Just another day on the job. A murder to solve, a witness to protect. The usual. Which is exactly the attitude that rookie Jay's mentor, Agent Kay brings to the table. Everything is a-matter-a-fact to him. Nothing shocks him, nothing much even moves him emotionally. But underneath that cold hard exterior that Jay is always trying to crack, you can tell theres someone who cares.  But that all kind of fades out once they start pulling out plasma cannons and de-atomizers and such. All the little nifty toys are so cool to look at and you feel like you get to play with them for a couple hours on this roller coaster ride you're on with Jay and Kay. Its really clever.

  Its full of cleverness. In fact, its bursting with cleverness. So much in love with its own cleverness, it fails to really dive into its own concept and fully explore it. Instead, its content to be merely a snappy popcorn movie. A Will Smith summer vehicle. Thats not to say its a bad popcorn movie! Its a damn good one! A very damn good one. But its not much more and it SO could've been. Still... its a fun ride and a Will Smith classic. For what it set out to be, it was the best we could have gotten. And seeing as how thats still 'pretty damn good', semi-dated effects and all (which still look pretty good for the most part) this movie is still very cool and totally awesome.

--

  Moving on a few long years from 1997 to 2002 we have a fundamentally unnecessary sequel. As those who are familiar with the first one, Tommy Lee's character arc was peacefully and quietly put to rest at the end. He got his happy ending. Smith's character however was just beginning his adventure. And obviously people wanted more. But OH NO!... not without Agent Kay! The fans simply wouldn't have that. So, the writers had to scramble to find a way to shoehorn Kay back into this world in which he no longer needed to be. So, the whole plot had to revolve around Kay NEEDING to be back in the picture. So, on the actual basic premise alone... it feels like an excuse of a movie.  Not a good sign.

  Then... it just got worse. It had a plethora of good, intriguing ideas and concepts behind it, it also manages to be sleeker and even more stylish then before. So where DID it go wrong? The humor, my friends. The humor.  Whatever clever balancing act they had gotten down pat with the first is entirely absent here. Everything is overpowered by comedy, even the action scenes. Not even funny comedy. Just brash obnoxious and wholly immature comedy. And while in some cases this may be funny, not in MIB 2.  For example! The talking pug from number one is back. And he gets a CHUNK of screen time too.  Okay... a talking dog was funny for about a minute in MIB... but talk about beating a dead horse. They made him an agent and put him in a tiny black suit. That was precisely when I couldn't take it anymore. It went sheer off the deep end, caught some silliness on the way down, and landed in a huge pile of stupid. They take every single joke used in number one, replicate it and stretch it waaaaaay too thin.

  Then, they sidestepped every stab at character development that actually managed to crop up and smashed its face in with another flat and unfunny joke. I suppose those who liked MIB as a flat out funny movie might find this one even more appealing. But I liked MIB for its sci-fi/thriller element as well. It was well made dammit! And I found myself, amidst all the updated cgi and flashy action scenes, dying for the wit and intelligent charm of the first one. Last and horribly least is Lara Flynn Boyle... as the villain. Sarleena. Okay, sidestepping the fact that an alien plant that morphs into (of all things...) a Victoria Secret model is supposed to somehow be threatening... she fails to do anything clever with the role. She's not menacing, or scary, or evil... she's just really bitchy. And THAT is not a good villain. The first movie had Edgar, played by Vincent D'Onofrio which was an excellent villain. This lady had BIG shoes to fill... and she didn't. I blame that solely on the writers and director's though. This was one of the movie's horrible concepts. I cannot in good conscience recommend MIB 2. Its JUST not good enough. Smith and Jones' chemistry is still gold, but you have to wade through so much shit just to get to it. And theres always the first one for that.

--

  Landing now, in 2012, we have the entirely unnecessary and pretty much unwanted MIB 3. People remembered how their greedy clamoring brought about such a travesty a whole decade ago. Well let me just say, it was a decade that they spent learning from their mistakes. Most of them. Nearly all of them. I sat through this movie, physically unable to wipe the smile from my face. "They're back!" I kept thinking to myself. All these years later, and we finally have a GOOD sequel. Not only is MIB 3 good, its really good. And while the first is still the absolute best, MIB 3 wastes no time going above and beyond the call of duty to be a really fun time that no one will regret having.

  Its very noticeable they had to construct a story around certain factors involving the cast. Firstly, Jones is a legitimate old man now. His character retired back in 1997. And he's still around in 2012. Old, tired, jaded, worn out and edgy.  Theres no way Tommy could carry half this dynamic anymore. So Jay is carrying the heft of it thematically. That is until the story takes him back to 1969 to stop an escaped alien convict from killing a younger Kay played impeccably by Josh Brolin. Brolin plays Kay so well, physically and tonally, that you'll forget you're watching a different actor and simply accept that its the same character.
He's so good in the role, and he has the unique opportunity to expand on Kay's past and show us a side of Kay we have never seen, subsequently making it entirely his own. Great performance.

  A few celebrities have cameos in here. Eh. Unlike the cleverness of the video ball in the first one that pointed out Sylvester Stallone and Danny Devito are in fact aliens... we get a few nods to stuff like that in this one. And its clever, but its like... you're expecting it. So it doesn't feel fresh and funny anymore. Not that its not well executed, just... very expected. Otherwise the only drawbacks are a few jokes that fall flat, an underused character here, and the fact that MIB 3 feels like it ends far too soon. Yes sir/ma'am. You read that right. This one is so good that you do not want it to end so soon. You want more screentime with these characters. The movie established the basics and the essentials so very very well that by the end of the film, you've fallen in love with Jay and Kay all over again.  Not to mention this one adds a layer to their dynamic that makes it so very... to quote every other review ever: "Profound."

  The supporting cast in this movie is very good too, although Emma Thompson and Alice Eve are totally underused as the same character, Jemaine Clement takes a standard ish villain and makes him disgustingly vile and totally fun to watch. He's no Edgar, but we're on the right track.  But the best supporting character is a quirky little guy named Griffin, played by Michael Stuhlbarg, who can see infinite future possibilities simultaneously which causes him equal measure of panic and glee. He's a joy to watch and a very fun character overall.  Back to the main man here, Will Smith.  Agent Jay picks up most of the slack all over this film.  The humor has been cut back seriously from number 2. No Frank the pug, no Jack Jeebs, and while you may say these are MIB mainstays, and wonder why they aren't here, I think any real fan would understand how the second one butchered those characters through overexposure, and also that there are so many other new unique characters that can be explored.  Beating a dead horse is what killed the second one. This one doesn't do that at all.  So, in the absence of such mainstays, Jay is really spotlighted in this movie, and he's still the wisecracking 'rookie' we know and love from 1997. Even though now he's a senior agent... it seems theres a whole galaxy of information STILL above his paygrade. Which is prime material for some proper laughs. Decent stuff really. Will Smith pulls it off.

  I can fully recommend MIB 3, despite a few tiny slip ups, its an all around solid film that is a damn decent, and surprisingly emotional, companion piece to the first one. Its also every bit the popcorn summer film that number one was. This movie is really fun. Its action packed, witty, stylish, and funny in all the ways a proper MIB movie should be. No longer am I sitting in boredom longing for the intellectual stylings of the first, ala MIB 2, instead I'm wondering what they have in store for the future. If nothing? I'm fine with that too. This was a completely serviceable end to the trilogy and it really washed out the bad taste that was lingering from number 2. MIB 3 succeeds in every way it should've and could've.

--

Overall its a solid trilogy. None of them take themselves so serious as to say you can't own all three. But make no mistake, number 2, despite a handful of okay and clever moments, is undoubtedly the weakest link.
But they all have some measure of mindless fun. Fun times from 1997 to 2012.

The Avengers

  Fans have been waiting for this ever since Samuel L. Jackson popped up at the end of Iron Man as the eponymous Nick Fury. A match made in comic book heaven. Teasing the prospect of an Avengers outing since 2008, it was soon clear that they were laying foundation with these movies. And despite your opinions on any of them, unless you outright hate them, The Avengers is an ideal blockbuster popcorn flick that’s sure to have enough wit, humor, drama and action to satisfy even a non-fan. Though, one reviewer on IMDb gives me pause. He said about Iron Man: "-every frame is dripping with contempt for its audience" Obviously if you're in this specific minority, and you’re of a like mind about The Incredible Hulk, Thor, and Captain America: The First Avenger, then please… don’t bog down the internet with your negative reviews.

  This movie is made for the fans. It’s built around the concept that seeing these famous heroes on screen, fighting side by side, is the coolest thing ever. And I’m not gonna lie… it’s a serious contender. But someone with absolutely NO interest in the superhero genre of films may find this a simple and loud excursion into long action scenes and one liners galore. But enough about who’s not going to enjoy it. Time to let everyone know; as if they didn’t already… this movie is AWESOME. Pure awesome.

  From Mark Ruffalo as Bruce Banner and the Hulk, who does a great job in making the character his own, to Jeremy Renner as Hawkeye (who actually had a brief cameo in Thor), these newcomers feel right at home in this big sprawling superhero adventure. At times you may find… a character slightly underused. But it’s not that big of a gripe. I’m still reeling over the fact they managed to get them all on the same set without the sheer awesome factor of it all imploding the entire production.

  First things first. I was worried it may turn out to be more akin to an Iron Man 3 with Tony Stark hogging more spotlight than that ill conceived movie poster. Or that possibly, these people would have no chemistry with each other. (Though the numerous trailers and TV spots went a long way towards allaying that concern.) And finally, I was worried that Captain America may just steal the movie out from everyone and saving the damn day himself. To put it simply, this movie could have easily been shoved onto the shoulders of any one of these guys. And that would have been horrible. This is THE team effort. The one movie, years in the making, that brings them all together to showcase each of them, and then showcase them as a team. One team. The Avengers.

  Joss Whedon, the director, pulls this off rather flawlessly. Not once does the movie become lopsided. Each hero, each star, gets a spectacular moment to shine. It’s wonderfully structured and pretty awesome to see each character handled so impeccably well. And when it comes time for them to meet, interact, and work together, my other worry was put to rest as well. Their chemistry is amazing. This is a team effort with everyone bringing their ‘A’ game. I had to pinch myself a ways through: “I’m actually seeing this.” It’s precisely the action packed, superhero spectacle I hoped it would be. It is quite arguably one of the best superhero movies. Ever. Not to mention a milestone of filmmaking period. Name one other genre where you can have heroes from five different standalone film series, meet and team up all under one film and have it be as big and stunning as this?

  While you might actually be thinking about that for a second, don’t bother. It was rhetoric. The Avengers is a special movie in that field, none have endeavored to do something like this and pulled it off too. It’s also a very fun ride, because at the core it simply sets out to entertain. And that it does. No doubt I’ll be seeing it again. I’ll probably post another review of it. A fresh perspective sans hype and fanboy adoration. The movie is simple, but incredibly effective. Familiar scenes and lines leap off the screen at the fans, some subtle nods to source material… others not so much.

   Anyways, in the end its ALL cool. Having trouble gathering my thoughts, but before I wrap this up, I’ll make special note of the fantastic climax. It has immense scope and scale and all the intricate action set pieces within it are choreographed wonderfully and shot meticulously. In the midst of chaos, we see the team come together and function as a unit. They fight back to back, follow the Captain’s orders and kick serious ass. The imagery alone is enough to make and self respecting fanboy geek the heck out right there. Not to mention the fantastic score by Alan Silvestri.

 
  See it. You know you’re going to anyways.

The Cabin in the Woods

  The trailers did so little to actually get me interested in this movie. But its not their fault. Had they shown me the stuff that would've made me run the fuck outside and buy a ticket right then and there... it would've spoiled some of the best stuff about the movie. Which leaves every review in a predicament. We can't tell you all the reasons why this movie is great. We have to talk about it, without really talking about it.  Its a love letter to classic (as in 80's) horror movies.  It pays tribute to just about every horror movie ever. And it manages to slide all this under a story that takes typical done-to-death horror tropes, and turns the entire concept on its ear. Fundamentally so.

  I think, you have to be a fan of the horror movies that this movie pays tribute to in order to enjoy it as much as me and my fellow nerds did.  I hate to say that. But some movies pander directly to a specific demographic.  It would seem cool and creative to everyone else, but this is made FOR the nerd crowd. We can point out stuff and say "oh look! thats a reference to *insert 80's horror movie here*! Isn't that brilliant?" whereas the crowd around me in the theater just scratched their heads.  I don't wanna say the movie is without merit for people who aren't steeped in movie knowledge, but its a sweeter experience for those who are.  Theres a really cool cameo at the end; the people in the theater who gasped, grinned, and went wide-eyed, they got it. The people who didn't... they already didn't like the movie.

  The movie is a wild, scary, creative and fun ride on its own merit.  Even those who can't point out every little thing will recognize the broad strokes and how this one brings something incredibly fresh and inventive to the table. The acting is superb and everyone fits nicely into their respective roles.  I did manage to unfortunately miss the first 8 minutes, and as a result my perception of the pacing might be off a bit. But I've been filled in, in detail, by a fellow movie geek.  I don't think it'd actually sway my opinion. But the movie's pacing was insanely fast. Just... breakneck pacing. And I think it might've been a bit too fast? But no thanks to google's incorrect showtime listing, I walked in 8 minutes late, thinking I should've been early. As a result, my whole perception was thrown off. "How late am I? How off was google?"  The movie kicked off so fast and so intensely, I felt as if I was watching the climax. "How can this be happening so soon?"

  One look at my watch let me know, I had actually already been sitting there for thirty minutes. It felt like five. My whole sense of time was fucked with.  However the movie itself began to set me straight,  once I saw where they were going with this wild new take on things... I realized it was FAR from over. In fact, the best was yet to come. And oh my god, I was totally unprepared. Totally.  I've not seen this much pure "awesome" crammed into the last 20 minutes of anything in a long time. I would argue my own point with the awesomeness from The Raid, but that doesn't count. This is a totally different genre. But these two movies are must-sees that warrant a theatrical viewing. I'm seriously considering seeing both again in theaters. However, The Avengers assembles next friday. My wallet is going to be in sheer pain by the time the summer is over.

  Overall, Cabin in the Woods is a breath of fresh air that feels slightly experimental, but also a rip roaring fun time for genre fans. Theres even a decent dose of humor in there as all proper horror movies should have.
I can't wait for the Blu Ray. Theres parts, specifically the last 10-15 minutes, I'd love to go over with a fine tooth comb on a hi-def TV. The climax of this movie, the last 20 minute stretch was worth the price of admission alone. It was amazing. And evoked many a grin from the audience members in-the-know. I can't praise this movie enough. It does have its flaws, and the way it ends may make or break the whole movie for you, but it takes a true cold cynic not to appreciate everything that came before. Such good, creative, and scary fun. I loved it. Alot. I totally recommend it.

Beyond the Black Rainbow

  First off, let me say that I didn't actually catch about... 80% or so of the plot, because I couldn’t hear most of the dialog. The why-fors and what-nots as to why I couldn’t hear it, is largely irrelevant because unless you’re watching a DVD screener rip of this in the middle of the night in a place with lots of light sleepers and thin walls, you shouldn’t have the same problem. Anyways, from what I gathered, it’s about a young woman named Elena, who’s being experimented on in a quasi-futuristic commune called The Arboria Institute and her subsequent journey, trying to escape it. It’s… quite the trip.

  The acting is great all around. The villainous Doctor Barry Nyle (I’m assuming he’s a doctor of sorts. They weren’t entirely clear on that. Or maybe I just didn’t catch it) has quite the presence here. His performance brings to mind some early David Warner stuff. Only with the brooding dial cranked up a notch. When Warner spoke, it gave you chills. When this guy speaks, it’s not as powerful, so the lines have to be written in a certain way. I think they pulled off his character wonderfully though.  He’s creepy as all hell and a real on screen presence.

  Secondly is the actress who played Elena. She is really only required to display two or three emotions, but that’s not a weakness in the script. Her character is trapped and rather hopeless, so there’s a lot of despair. But you also can see she has telepathic powers, so there’s a big underlying strength that’s there too. And there’s more you know, but the actress really does pull it off very convincingly and with hardly ANY dialog. Maybe ONE line? The entire film? Again, this isn’t an issue. It just sells her character that much more.

  I’ve browsed through online forums and boards that discuss the plot and story in great detail, and I’m not sure I’ve actually missed much. The movie is spread thin, and although it’s bursting with plot, there’s very little discernible story. Everything is open to interpretation like a really rich dream. Its takes you weird places and shows you fantastic sights, there’s a story to it… but it’s almost impenetrable. Like if you look hard enough, it all falls apart. I’m not saying ‘Rainbow’s story is weak. I’m saying it’s aloof from conventional storytelling. It literally feels like a dream. Not a nightmare, but a really strange dream with drug trippish visuals.

  I suppose that’s its selling point. Its visuals. There is a lot to see and take in. In this movie, you’re shown some insane looking stuff, some cool looking stuff, and then stuff that’s on the fringe edge of sci-fi concepts and designs. From that standpoint? I absolutely LOVED this movie. It’s a trippy visual feast for the eyes, and its dream fodder for the imagination. The imagery in this movie will stick with you for a long time. The music as well, it has a very 80’s electro synth vibe to it. It fits so well with the future-retro style and tone that it’s nigh impossible not to completely love it as well. It compliments the visuals and imagery insanely well. They’re inseparable.

  And I suppose in the end, the drastic shifts in tone, the glacial pacing, the retro-ish tone, the outstandingly weird visuals, and the sparse dialog is what cements the dreamlike feeling. If you’re looking for something vague and creepy, this is where it’s at. It’s a colorful and expertly constructed art-house exercise in… pure weird. If you can’t love it for that, you won’t even like it. At first, I was largely on the fence. But once I embraced the dream-like perspective my whole opinion just… shifted. I’m a fan. Can’t find much else to say about it, but I seriously can’t wait to see it again.

The Raid: Redemption

  Theres a point in this movie very early on, the first real confrontation between our protagonists and the bad guys, where I found myself recalling a scene from another movie. My favorite movie in point of fact: Aliens. Theres a scene in Aliens where the colonial marines get into their first horrific skirmish with the iconic monsters who all but 'tear them a new one'. Up until that point, all the guns and hardware really made them look tough as hell and ready for WWIII. But you quickly realize these poor guys are up to their knees in shit. They're so far in over their heads, that we're bound to sit through one hell of a relentless, unforgiving, balls-to-the-wall, roller coaster ride.  You get that same kind of tip-off in The Raid.  Buckle up.

  First of all, believe the hype.  This movie is wall to wall violence. The kind of in-your-face action that genre fans have been desperately craving for a long time.  Its everything movies like The Expendables promised, and failed, to deliver.  Simply one "Holy shit!" moment after the other.  Indonesian star and star of The Raid, Iko Uwais really steals the spotlight off guys like Tony Jaa (Ong Bak) in one fell swoop. Some action stars can burn through years of movies and an entire filmography and not get a hit this awesome.  It brings to mind the climax of 2008's Rambo. Except, it takes the intensity and impact of that glorious 15 minutes and multiplies it into an hour and a half of brutal carnage.

  Theres another moment when you realize that the movie is also kind of manipulative.  The hero is the hero because he can't be bought out. He's not a corrupt cop. And he has a pregnant wife at home. And he prays. So he must be a spiritual man. My point is, its like telling apart chess pieces. These must be good because white is pure, and black symbolizes darkness.  But in reality, these attributes of his don't make him a compelling character. You're supposed to care if he lives or dies. After all... he has a pregnant wife at home. Thats obviously excuse enough to care.  But its still an excuse. Not a reason. Theres no time to develop him fully as a multidimensional character. Its sad the movie can't be bothered to really flesh him out, yes, but in a flick like this... its hardly a necessity.

  In that same moment you realize the movie is essentially a video game on autopilot. Headshot. Ten points. Action figures with big loud guns and swords shooting and chopping each other up until we can see what's inside.  Blood and guts of course. And lots of it.  The video game jab would've been an insult several years ago, but now, with games like Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 and its successors reaching cinematic heights of raw entertainment, its a total compliment.  Like a video game, you can skip the plot heavy cinematics and cut to the chase. Which of course is the action. Shootouts and knife fights, and outside of the Call of Duty comparison, martial arts.  Apparently a specific kind of indonesian martial arts called Pencak Silat. Whatever it is, its impressive as hell and brutal all the same. Please sir, I'd like some more.

  Though that can hardly be said after sitting through The Raid.  If anything you'll be in action movie detox after its over. Its an expertly balanced excercise in well coreographed overkill and chaos.  Its a bloodbath of epic proportions. Every bit of effort that went into it, from the amazing score by Mike Shinoda (of Linkin Park and Fort Minor fame) to the camera work itself, is all focused on intensifying the action on display and contributing to the preceedings in a very impressive way.  The usual shaky cam plague that haunts modern action movies is significantly toned down. Used here in careful moderation to simply accentuate a fight, not send a 9.5 earthquake into your face.  So in short,  The Raid plays like a huge climax to a massive action movie. Its bare bones plot and lack of character development are hardly drawbacks, but you really do wonder what it would be like if you actually cared about these characters. If we had some time to see them develop outside of gun fights and such. 

  Of course it'd be an even better movie.  But there is no reason why you can't enjoy The Raid for what it is: pure action. I loved it. I really enjoyed myself. With the theater room almost all to myself, there was little to stop me from saying "Woah!", "holy shit", and "Fucking hell!".  Not to mention, I was able to put my feet up without anyone bitching about it.  It was a great time and a great movie. I'd see it over and over. Maybe even in theaters over and over.  But with upcoming films like The Avengers, MIB 3, Prometheus, The Amazing Spider-Man and others, I may just have to wait for the blu ray. Rest assured, its one to see. Though, in case I haven't stressed it enough with the comparison to Rambo, this movie is NOT messing around.  It IS a bloodbath. And if that sounds like an hour and a half of heaven on a stick to you...
without hesitation, go. Go now.